Yeah, so after that unsuccessful attempt to dice garlic the way the Aunts wanted, I decided not to pick up a knife in tandem with a bulb of garlic. Still, on a day when I woke up to discover that Aunts and the housekeeper went out without leaving a note or cooked food for me, I had to do something. Hungry. ZERO food to heat up. HOW CAN? I could go out to town, but I was lazy. Well, the fridge was fully stocked with raw ingredients. Rummaging around to put together brunch shouldn't be too difficult.
Coleslaw. The easiest. And I wanted a version with more vinaigrette than mayonnaise. More raw onions and preferably no mustard. I also like it with green and red pepper. And add whatever else to my fancy that would be available in the fridge. Clearly, I didn't know how to make a coleslaw. But it sounded like tossing things together. No cooking involved. Woot. Nothing that googling couldn't solve. Read like a fiend through various web sites. Picked out a couple of recipes to blend into this main version to use. I wasn't a happy camper when I read the part about "it's easier to chop [cabbage] by hand", also suggesting that the grater be put aside to peel carrots "into thin slices, and then cutting these into strips to match the cabbage". As if I didn't have enough to do.
Took bottles and boxes out of the medicine cabinet and lined them up. Antiseptic, BandAid, Gentian Violet, gauze, tape and plasters. Okay. Ready. Let's begin. Slowly. No hurry. Maybe gloves might be a good idea. Yeah, okay, let's open up a new pack of gloves for slicing raw vegetables.
The Aunts and housekeeper came back just as I brought out the filled-to-the-brim salad bowl to the dining table. They looked at it with great suspicion, and immediately made a beeline for the kitchen. I covered my ears as the shrieks floated out. "SO MESSY! WHAT DID YOU DO???!" Errrmmm...I assembled a coleslaw...not my fault if things fell onto the floor or something. I was going to clean up...after lunch.
These women, went out to lunch and didn't wake me. TSK TSK. And didn't leave any messages about grabbing takeaways for me. Grrrrrr. Anyway, I was nice. Decided to offer them some to taste. They sampled bites, with great skepticism, and chewed thoughtfully. At least they didn't spit it out.