Monday, May 11, 2026

It Was Never About The Tip Jar


So the Boston and London Marathons recently concluded, with plenty of stories of camaraderie, sportsmanship and humour coming out of them. This story follows a guy who unfortunately shares the same first name as one of the Boston Marathon bombers in 2013, and the bombing is in the background. 

This is 'Process of Elimination' by Saïd Sayrafiezadeh, published in The New Yorker on April 26, 2026. The protagonist Tamerlan Thompson is blond-haired and blue-eyed, and a lifelong New Englander. He is flawed and annoying. He is 26 years old and is working in a coffeeshop in New England in 2013. Boston is two states away from him. 

The opening lines already pegged him to be accused of stealing the tip jar that went missing a month ago, and told us that this Tamerlan Thompson was about to be fired, without explanation. He went to the Department of Labor to file for unemployment but he hadn't worked at the coffeeshop long enough to qualify for unemployment benefits. He went to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for file for unlawful termination. He didn't hear back from any of the jobs he applied to.  

Then he found a job as a barista with a newly opened outlet of Starbucks. There were no tip jars at this outlet. He was promoted to shift supervisor. By now, it was seven months since he was fired. He finally heard back from the Commission, and there was a mediation meeting arranged with his previous employers. 

To his surprise, the person who fired him was actually the manager, and the owner of the coffeeshop was someone he had never met, "the man who I had thought was the owner was only the manager, and now here was the actual owner, who had no idea who I was, and, moreover, appeared flummoxed as to how we had arrived at this situation." 

The 'manager' wrote his side of the story and insisted that he never fired him because of his name or because of the tip jar. Which left us to conclude that when spring break came, and the coffeeshop didn't need so many staff, Tamerlan was simply fired for being too new, or the only one too young, or the odd one out. Whatever it is, he didn't seem to have been fired for incompetency or making a mistake, which means, he should have had severance or redundancy pay. But there was none. Since he had no severance payment, the case counsellor asked if he would accept four hundred dollars in compensation. And to his surprise, the other side offered higher — eight hundred dollars and an apology. 

He was also surprised to learn that his ex-colleagues didn't think he had bonded with them, or he was a team player. So they met in the next room for final resolution and closure to the case. I don't know if this would bring closure to both parties, emotionally, but it was technically a closure of sorts.  

He had brought his notebook with him, of course, “Management” written on the cover. He was not the outsized entrepreneur that I had always thought him to be, but, rather, one of those fortunate employees who had worked long enough at the coffee shop to qualify to enroll in college courses. I suddenly felt a sharp sense of remorse for having caused this ordeal in what I had considered the pursuit of justice, and I felt sorry for the manager, who, no thanks to me, had certainly not curried any favor with the real owner. I wondered if the eight hundred dollars would be coming out of the manager’s pocket. I wondered if he would be fired. But there was no turning back now, and nothing left to do except for everyone to sign the forms in triplicate saying that we were in agreement with the outcome.

And when that was done, the manager turned to me, his hands folded in front of him on the conference table, barely able to make eye contact, mumbling his compulsory apology, as if we were children in the schoolyard.

“Sorry for the misunderstanding,” he said. None of it mattered, of course. Starbucks was coming. Starbucks was going to swallow everything.

Then the case counsellor handed me the check for eight hundred dollars.

“We hope this will make you whole,” he said.

In an interview with the same journal, the author is asked if he intentionally didn't bother to provide clarity as to who took the tip jar in the coffeeshop. He is asked if he intended Tamerlan to be convinced that the was fired because of his name and the identity it suggested.

And this is something that all of us grapple with — do we judge people because of their names? Do we link it to their facial features, their ethnicity, or have a preconceived notion of them and their background based on a name? What's in a name? 

The author explained, 

This remains the unanswered question of the story: Is his accusation true or not? It remains unanswered for Tamerlan, as well. As far as I can tell, the only indication of doubt is when he admits in the final scene in the conference room to having some regret for having put the owner (actually the manager, he learns) through all of this. Beyond that, he’s motivated by pure self-interest. The case counsellor says he believes Tamerlan’s version of events, but that might just be the result of his understanding that he can easily settle the matter to the satisfaction of all the parties, i.e., by having the owner of the coffee shop cut a check for eight hundred dollars. In any case, I wanted the readers to be left wondering what is true. Perhaps we should take the manager at his word when he claims that he dismissed Tamerlan simply because it was the end of the spring semester. Or maybe Tamerlan is correct in sensing that there was more to it than that, and it was not a mere coincidence that he was fired right after the Boston bombing. We know that Tamerlan has been led to this conclusion out of some necessity. The truth in this story seems to be elusive and unknowable, and this circles back to your earlier question about what kind of assumptions are made about people with names like Saïd or Tamerlan. I think it’s equally fair to ask what kinds of assumptions are made by people with names like Saïd or Tamerlan.

Saturday, May 09, 2026

Nursing Choya Back to a Balanced Gut Microbiome

I have changed my sleep patterns and timings since April 1st, when 'Choya's Great Laosai' began. They are changed out of necessity. Her explosive diarrhea usually arrives at 5.30am thereabouts. It's logical because she would have supper, and food ferments the longest overnight, and her stomach can't take that. She can't not have a small supper because if her stomach is empty, she would puke bile in the mornings.  

I sleep by 11.45pm or so, before midnight. I stop doom-scrolling and doing work in the nights. I swopped to clearing work when I wake at 5am or so. I re-adjusted all social calendars that could accommodate my new preferences. I eat earlier so that I don't get indigestion; I drink a lot less because I need to be sober in the night to sleep through, and wake up feeling human. I'm not a morning person at all. But getting enough sleep helps.

Once I learnt what the diarrhea is about, I know how to manage it. I don't have to stress about the unknown anymore. I can get on with the logistics of solving a problem, weighing theories with practical applications versus desired outcomes. The medication caused Choya to pee a lot more, and I don't want her to hold it or stress the bladder. I take her out for extra pee-walks. This means more work on my part since my schedule is a lot more flexible than the husband's. 

Choya has stabilized. It has been 6 weeks since. Anecdotally, when she has excessive B12 in her system, she tends to pee a lot because she would be too thirsty. Even in this heat, and the bone broth drunk, the volume of urine has increased. I noticed her dribbling pee a little (not incontinent, but she does have this quirk) near the 6-hour mark. So I gave her extra pee-walks, which worked. That meant that she doesn't need the supplements now; whatever she takes via her food is sufficient. I stopped her B12 supplements.  

From twice a day, she has tapered down to a super-low-dosage of metronidazole just once in the mornings. She seems to be doing fine. I'll take her off of metronidazole in the next two weeks. Tapering it off instead of a sudden stop. (And yes, I've spoken with her doctor about this.) Let's hope her stomach rebalances as it should, and her gut microbiome remains calm. This cycle will happen again since she has chronic IBD, and she meets clostridium all the time. May the next shitsplosion happens a lot later than sooner. 

Thursday, May 07, 2026

What Excellent Pieces of Soon Kueh!


Out of the blue, J said she was sending me soon kueh. I was like, what the. This woman knows my freezer space and such, and she got me small packs. I'm so thankful, but I feel so bad for the delivery fees for such a small volume.

I was super stoked when the packs of soon kueh arrived. Two frozen packs for the freezer, and one still-warm box for the fridge. It came on a day that I had a party to attend, and the soon kueh would fill my stomach better than any of the food on the buffet table. Yay.

It was just nice that my bottles of soy sauce from Mikaku No Tabi arrived. I had two cold-smoked flavors of course, one aged tsuru-bishio and one tamari. Both go well with soon kueh. This should also have a touch of chilli. Opted for the tangy garlic-chilli from Putien to match the delicate flavors of soon kueh. Sambal belachan will do, but it tends to overpower the filling.  

It's a super random gift, but I love soon kueh!!! Tehehehehe. But I'm also particular about them. These from One Kueh at a Time are excellent, done just the way I like them. I'm extra thankful for the small packs. Work has been a bit mad recently. So the soon kueh aren't just comfort food for my tummy, they are literally my emergency stash. I can make excellent jiao-zi and soon kueh, but with the arrival of a dog and a tiny open kitchen, there's just no way to make them without getting fur in each piece. These packs make it convenient for me to have a decent meal in the middle of a busy day, and they're so easy to heat up.