Showing posts with label Corporate Parables. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Corporate Parables. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Unbelievable

By today, enough is enough. When the same person annoys me for consecutive days with a consistent lack of common sense, I lost it, and made very snide remarks to this particular security/estate supervisor.

You won't get this story totally unless you're my colleague. Anyways, anyhoooo.

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Heavy rain meant we had to take umbrellas to shelter the guests out to the big bus by the road. My people were busy taking care of the guests. There was no reason why unlike other mao-mao managers who would melt in the rain, I couldn't go collect the umbrellas from the store. So I did.

Same supervisor was in charge of umbrellas. There were 2 large trolleys (1 empty and 1 filled) and 1 small empty trolley. I wanted to take both large trolleys. He stopped me, and asked how many I needed. "25, and an empty trolley", I said. He wouldn't let me take the full trolley and said he'd have a problem in the evening if all the umbrellas were wet.

Excuse me? What's the logic? The umbrellas shivering in these trolleys were ALREADY wet. He already had a problem on his hands. I don't care about his problem. I care about my guests. He's staying dry behind the counter. I'm going to be standing out there drenched.

Never mind. The next thing he did, completely boggled my brains. He started counting and transferred umbrellas from the filled large trolley into the empty large trolley. Of course by the time he filled that trolley, only 3 umbrellas were left in the original. He merrily passed me that filled trolley and looked perplexed when I told him that the empty one was also needed. It was ALIEN-WEIRD. I didn't understand one bit of his actions. It took all I possessed not to scream at him right there and then.

I asked him, "[insert name of supervisor], seriously, you did all that and it's back to square one? Why didn't you just give me the 2 trolleys in the first place? They now look exactly the same, and you wasted 6 minutes of my time." He stared at me blankly. "I can only give you the numbers you want. 25 umbrellas. Otherwise I'll have a problem this evening."

I backed away. O.MY.GOD. It dawned on me, he didn't understand, not.the.least. And he's the first point of contact with our clients and customers. How lovely. No wonder some people think we're second-class professionals and first-class idiots. Does he have a modicum of brain cells in working order? And perhaps some common sense? I don't know whether to laugh in his face or be sympathetic for his sorry ass.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Art Of Delegating

Agency X complained to high heaven to Agency Y and Z that our organization pressurized them to do a task that they didn't want at such last minute notice. They put it in not very nice words.

Of course I got wind of it. I was quite miffed. Excuse me, I did mention that Agency X had the right of choice and could say no. If they have an issue, they should have told us that in the face and not whine to a hundred people about how overbearing we are. We simply asked a question. Never mind, I'll let it go and remember how lucky we are to have covered our asses in black and white.

Anyway, Agency X farmed out the task to Agency Y. Agency Y was fine doing it. And a line in the email made me screech with laughter and promptly shared this with the colleagues.

Agency X: We're quite busy during this period. We can't spare the manpower nor resources to do it.

Agency Y: Okay then. We're fine with it. We'll do it.

Agency X: Good. Let me know when you're doing it. We would like to sit in for that 3 hours.

Well. Well done.

Friday, March 26, 2010

What Are We Reading?

There was a check to see how many of us in the office had completed the H1N1 vaccination as we would be able to claim it. So I replied.

From: imp Sent: Thursday, 25 March, 2010 5:29 PM
To: Person-in-Charge Subject: Done: H1N1 Vaccination Status as at 31 Mar 2010

Done, but not claiming from the office as mine was completed in end Oct 09, way before the advisory was sent out.

From: Person-in-Charge Sent: Thursday, 25 March, 2010 5:47 PM
To: imp Subject: RE: H1N1 Vaccination Status as at 31 Mar 2010

Thanks, imp. We cannot claim for vaccinations done before the advisory. Sorry.

From: imp Sent: Friday, 26 March, 2010 9:56 AM
To: Person-in-Charge Subject: Done: H1N1 Vaccination Status as at 31 Mar 2010


Like I said, I never intended to claim for it anyway, before or after the advisory. No issues.

I can't stop rolling my eyes. What is wrong with all these people? What is registering in their brains when they read their emails? Is it me? Should I have been clearer and write in a way that assumes the other party knows nothing and everything ought to be spelt out? Or are we on 2 starkly different schools of thought?

Monday, March 15, 2010

A Card & A Token

Continuing the streak of belligerence today, I've concluded it just before midnight by sending a rather polite but vexed email to IT. This email should get something going.

I've this thing called VPN remote access, which simply means an avenue to access work emails (not via webmail) on the work laptop away from the office. When I ported over to a new platform, IT forgot to issue me with the bank-like token (without the on/off key) for my VPN access. They configured my access to be via card instead. For a long while now, I've been accessing it with a card containing a chip. It's been working fine. Beautifully even. It performed well in Cambodia.

So I told IT not to bother with the token. I'm getting seriously tired of chasing IT around to sort out dates, dance around both our schedules, as well as having had the bad experience of waiting all day for a promised set-up timing which never happened. Like a good drone, I waited till 6pm that day before realizing that no one was going to come fix me a token.

Whatever. They're busy too right? So I told them not to bother. They gave me a reply that was so ROTFLamusing. They told me that the token had been assigned to me and they had to deliver it. So I gave them another set of dates/time to fix it up. Bloody hell- nobody replied me.

I got fed-up. There is no friggin difference to me if I access VPN via a card or a token. All I care about is that I can access my emails and all. I've no other major issues. I don't see a big deal in continuing with the status quo of VPN via card access. Why is it my problem that IT forgot that my access should be via a token and not a card? If things are working perfectly fine, why should I have to follow the rules and get reshuffled all over again? All it takes is a simple order to rescind the allocation of my token and reverse the charges billed to my department.

Talk about being bureaucratic.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

It's Always About The Food

We have foreign guests in the building. So there was a flurry of activities early in the morning.

There are young interns in our midst. They don't just have to stick to observing. They are allowed to interact with our guests in spite of their youth and all. We don't make interns do only filing and photocopying here! At the start of the day, the interns earnestly asked what they could do and if they were needed for the phototaking session. Since their help wasn't required, I told them to hang around and peek. There would be chances for further conversation at the tea reception later.

There was quite a good spread of food at the tea table. The guests already had breakfast at their hotel, so they weren't too into the dim sum provided. They were interested in conversation. The tea reception was well underway with lots of interesting questions and opinions. The young interns hung around in the wings. They were obviously waiting for an appropriate moment to speak with me.

I stepped aside and turned to the interns. They must be wondering what to do now. I was all ready to say "Yes, go ahead and interact with the guests."

The question put forth was, "Could we eat the food please?" I could only manage a weak nod. It took me all I had not to laugh.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Value Mapping

'Value attribution' is omnipresent.

Value attribution is not restricted to marketing communications and public relations or the domain of financial analysis.

When one says value attribution affects consumer behavior, we know that it goes well beyond the retail and financial sector.

Likewise, one can apply the theory of performance attribution analysis to different sectors and behavioural patterns.

If we can understand the consequences of value attribution, then we will not be so swift to judge. Nor would we be so quick to believe what the eye sees. There are flip sides, even when it appears to be dispositionally inherent. There are so many facets to a story. We need to dig deeper.

There are always variables. There is always a magic chalice that changes something.

Remember that.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

On Economy

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities, is entirely coincidental.

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There was a scheduled work trip to the US.

All members on that trip are eligible to fly on business class.

Then The Boss chirpped to her personal assistant. "I don't need to. I'm quite comfortable in Economy. Book me on Economy please."

When news of the executive decision spread, the rest of the members were quietly horrified.

So it came to pass- on that particular business trip, everyone flew on Economy for the 20hr flight.

To and fro.

*********
But you see. The Boss is tiny and slim.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Of Self Esteem

Disclaimer:
Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities, is entirely coincidental.

As re-told to me in one of those legendary sharing sessions.

*********

She was the Little Fry in the business delegation travelling out of Singapore.

Along the way, the Head of the business delegation received many corporate gifts at the various meetings.

The Little Fry was in charge of keeping all these gifts and bring them safely back to Singapore.

On the flight home, she had to struggle with a particularly bulky box. There was no space to store it in the overhead compartment. She had to ask the stewardess to look after the bulky box and to handle it delicately.

Thereafter, she settled into her economy class seat.

Just before landing, the stewardess was kind enough to offer her a business class seat so that she could run after her bosses who were rooted way front of the plane.

Even though the business class was fairly empty, she was grateful for the consideration shown by the stewardess.

Then she saw a familiar bulky box strapped in the seat beside her. She stared and stared at it.

The stewardess flashed a dazzling smile. "Oh. We had the space anyway. So we put it there to keep it safe for your boss. All good. Are you comfortable now?"

So. The bulky box sat in a business class seat all the way.

*********

Here ends the tale of The Little Fry.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Story of A Question

Disclaimer:
Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities, is entirely coincidental.

*********
The Chairman of the Meeting took a bite of the cake. He looked at the staff sitting by the side. "Where did you buy this cake from?" He asked.

The Director did a little jump. He quietly turned to his Deputy to ask, "Where did you buy this cake from?"

The Deputy gulped and leaned towards to his Assistant to softly query, "Where did you buy this cake from?"

The Assistant blinked and nudged his Manager. "Where did you buy this cake from?"

The Manager inhaled sharply and grabbed his Executive. "Where did you buy this cake from?"

"From Polar." The Executive whispered.

"From Polar." The Manager squeaked to the Assistant.

The Assistant updated the Deputy. "From Polar."

The Deputy's face lit up as he turned back to the Director.
"From Polar."

The Director smiled approvingly. He cleared his throat as he addressed the Chairman. "From Polar."


"Good cake." The Chairman nodded his appreciation.

*********
This story was henceforth known as "The Polar Parable".

Friday, August 25, 2006

Thank God For Brownie Points

It's never about how the bosses heap compliments on me when I've done well.

It's always about what the boss says to me when I screw up.