Thanksgiving 2025 :: Sous Vide Chicken!!

My aunts are in town. They said they're visiting ME and Choya. LOL They're not technically incorrect. But on a flight itinerary, Singapore is a stopover on their way to their actual vacation in New Zealand. They're also 'stopping over' here on their way home. It has become a 'new tradition' of sorts since Choya came along. I'm appreciative of their love for us. 

I had suggested eating out on Thanksgiving Day. They would not hear of it. They said they would eat my cooking. They didn't mind simplicity. They claimed that they would rather eat my food than any restaurant's items that might be too rich and induce the runs for them, rendering them in agony for their 9am flight out the next day. I was like..... 'and you think MY food won't give you the runs?'

Anyway, I succumbed and agreed to cook them dinner. Very few people can coerce me to cook. Accccck. Now, I'm not a cook. I can provide edible food, and that's it. Chicken it is this year too! It was chicken curry last year. No more of that. I shall do it sous vide. Nobody is that fond of turkey in this home. I most certainly do not want to deal with a slippery butterball that can't quite fit inside the oven. Imagine the cleaning of the burnt grease after. Ugh. 

I certainly didn't mind doing sous vide chicken since I was prepping that for the floofs too. But for the humans, I marinated the meat for a bit and seared it in the pan first before sous-viding. Searing it would lend that brown loveliness to the tenderness of the sous-vide meat. 

I didn't do a whole chicken. I did chicken breast for floofs and humans. All these people like chicken breast. They wanted to tank up on protein as well. To be honest, they can't get 2-kg of chicken breast at restaurants unless they pre-order it. This morning, I had no issues buying 2.5-kg of chicken breasts at the grocer's for tonight's dinner. 500g were apportioned for the floofs. Teheheheheh.

Dinner turned out pretty edible. The easy marinade was lovely — with fish sauce, garlic, shallots and spices, and the meat was sooooo tender. I didn't bother with a salad. I did throw coriander on the side since some weird people like coriander. I made Asian stir-fried greens with store-bought broccoli, homegrown nai bai and shanghai greens, and carrots. I did feed them carbs. Made two pots of rice — a plain basmati, and an autumn-flavored rice with a bit of mushroom dashi, pumpkin, mushrooms and chestnuts. It was an odd little meal that nobody seemed to mind. 

I also quietly heaved a sigh of relief and whispered a prayer of thanksgiving that Choya is okay without symptoms of tick fever. It's been a week and a half since the clean removal of that damn tick. I know clearly that the preventives would work as they are supposed to. But I still worry. 

We had an early dinner because the husband was heading out for a jam session. Suited us fine. The Aunts woke up early and were still kinda jet-lagged, and the earlier meal complemented their stomachs. They stayed on for a bit before they returned to the hotel to pack up. That was a most lovely evening.

May we be blessed by God as we share this food and as we work and live together for the good of all.

Thanksgiving 2024 :: Chicken Curry

It's Thanksgiving week and my Aunts have rolled into town. They're on their way to New Zealand for a few hikes and some wine. I would love to join them, but I have a few projects to eyeball before they go full-steam in January, and importantly, I have a needy dog this monsoon season. Pre 2019, I'd join the Aunts in the UK every Christmas and New Year. But now, they indulge Choya and toddle over to my part of the world instead. 

Put the Aunts up at a dog-friendly hotel and placed Choya with them for a day. LOL They're very capable of looking after her. Choya doesn't mind them either. Then they all toddled over for a simple dinner at mine. When I say 'simple', I really mean simple. I am no cook. So please don't expect anything if I am to produce food from my pots. 

No turkey. I'm not a big fan of turkey unless it's done Asian style. But I'm no accomplished cook. I'm not about to try roasting a turkey or even doing a turkey biryani. Chicken curry for Thanksgiving it was. That was all. Stole the dog's packs of chicken ovaries and chicken gizzards. Hurhurhur. Besides the all-essential potatoes, the offal is always a great addition to the flavors in the pot. 

I would just do chicken curry with okra, and basmati rice. Of course I used an instant pack of curry paste lah! I had earlier gotten those meal kits/packs of Prima Taste rempah and gravy for visitors, and bought too many. So I might as well use them. I did however, marinated the chicken with yoghurt and the additional meat curry powder that I always stock in the larder to 'curry up' the taste. I went super light with the salt since I expect the pack's paste to be sufficiently salted. #ImpieCooks2024 

I didn't even bother with side dishes. The Aunts said no cheese platter needed because they would have plenty of that after this Singapore stop. I did put out purchased nyonya achar and ngoh hiang rolls on the table. Choya got her share too. Steamed a chicken fillet for her to go with a raw ovary and gizzards. She can't be eating that much ovaries and gizzards, so I steamed the rest of it for her next day's meals. 

To my surprise, the whole pot was eaten up! There were no leftovers. I didn't think I used too little meat. It was a whole chicken plus an additional tray of chicken breast fillets since all these people prefer the breast meat. Had to sear the chicken breasts well and separately and not have them overcook in the curry. The husband was just so pleased to have a homecooked meal that isn't anything weird or just spam and eggs. LOL

Yeah, it's chicken curry...... white wine or champagne would match it nicely. But as we have it, this table likes red wine. So a bottle of red it was to accompany the meal. Skipped the pumpkin pie in favor of a small box of mithai! Ha!

Happy Thanksgiving. 🍁

[16] But blessed are your eyes, because they see, and your ears, because they hear. [17] For, amen, I say to you, many prophets and just men have desired to see the things that you see, and have not seen them, and to hear the things that you hear and have not heard them. [18] Hear you therefore the parable of the sower.

~ Matthew 13:16-18, Douay-Rheims

Why Is It Always The Women and Their In-Laws?

I literally laughed soooo loud while reading this. Ruth Chew's article on CNA published on 14 October, 2024, 'Ways for women: 5 tips on how to say no to your in-laws to maintain boundaries and harmony'. It gives you some ideas in saying no nicely. Well. 

These helpful suggestions are angled for women. I wonder, do the men ever need these sort of tips? Do they not put out articles to advise the husbands? It's always us women, isn't it? When I have no children, it makes it easier since there're fewer opinions and demands imposed on me. 

This CNA Lifestyle site has a whole section of women, and not enough on the men. The content is making me feel like women have to bear all the burdens too. And these writers really should know that there is male menopause even writing in the context of menopause. The CNA Lifestyle site writers need to be go deeper and be better educated in their research. 

This article suggests that women with 'difficult' in-laws try to, Define Boundaries, Communicate Clearly But With Respect, Get Your Husband's Help and Support, Reinforce Boundaries and Find Middle Ground, and to See the Big Picture.

There are no right answers. Boundaries are different for different people. For example, some in-laws expect to see their children (and grandchildren) every day, while others feel that once a month or fortnight is fair, to cater more time for other activities. Don’t forget to share your boundaries with empathy, considering that your in-laws may not have had experience with the “younger generation” telling them no.

I won't comment much. You know where I stand on these issues, and you know I can say NO very well, till my in-laws have either come to fear me or view me with disgust, both of which I DGAF, because when I no longer respect them or view them with much warmth except as a fellow neighbor/human, their approval or opinions don't matter anymore. Civility is now all there is. 

Actions speak louder than words. So the best way is to act the way you’d like to be treated. Show empathy, gratitude and respect for one another. Be mindful of their needs and wants too. This may require a change in behaviour or disrupting your own patterns to initiate this “change”. For example, setting time limits on the weekend for extended family visits. When you feel the tension building, take deep breaths and redirect the conversation, or step out for a quick walk.

I choose to distance myself from the in-laws and their toxic emotions and gaslighting perspectives. I do not share the same opinions and views and feelings on many matters, especially on the treatment of helpers and foreign workers, educating children, and how to best raise them, Palestine and Israel (and now Lebanon), etc. I don't even share their liking for their preferred food and meals. But man, even just having a dog, gets stupid and ignorant comments from them (they refused to be educated) till I'll never ever leave Choya with them. Tsk tsk. 

It's pretty much, if I ignore you, please leave me alone. Nothing I say here on this blog is secret. I have told the in-laws to their faces, in about a thousand different ways, many times, as to what I think. I do not play games. I choose frankness. I also prefer to to avoid confrontation by keeping quiet. I don't enjoy conversations with them or their company. And the best thing I have done is to silently get up without responding, to leave the table or to leave the entire dinner altogether. I won't shove my opinions down your throat. But when I'm pushed into a corner, and being gas-lit, I'll tell you what I really think. 

All adults require time to adjust, including the elderly. It pays to have patience in seeing the big picture, which is the well-being of those in your family unit. 

Some battles cannot be won, so don’t sweat the small stuff. Being assertive is important to communicate your boundaries, but you don’t need to win every argument. Consider if this will matter in five or even 10 years. If it doesn’t, let it go. 

Learning to say no and setting healthy boundaries is not about keeping your in-laws out – it’s about letting others safely into your life. Steering your relationship with your in-laws can be confronting, especially in our Asian context. 

Remember, the goal is to create a balanced environment where everyone’s needs are met and respected, allowing you to lead a more peaceful life with a supportive family dynamic.

Nyonya Dry Mee Siam!

Aunty J rounded us up for a lunch at hers. We couldn't make it on the first date she suggested, so she said no mee siam for everybody then. LOLOLOLOL Then she said that we hould do it this weekend. CAN! Nyonya dry mee siam! YES M'AM! As the years pass, I'm glad to see Aunty J and Uncle J doing all right.

We lucked out with the weather again. I honestly didn't know if it would storm out and Choya would be frantic. I gave her a light dose of Gabapentin and hoped for the best. Drove over in the afternoon on a day cooled by a light drizzle. Glad that the weather was ideal for a pig-out on mee siam and that also made it more comfortable for Aunty J and the helper to prep our meal. 

The table was laid out with all the toppers to the dry mee siam. Prawns, egg, chives, limes and tau kwa + that awesome gravy. I had double servings of mee siam. Mmmm. NO REGRETS.

Then came the fruits, jelly and even belinjo crackers and snacks. However, Aunty J wasn't done with us. She brought out a pot of home-boiled cheng tng. OMG. N and I were like, no way. We took a small bowl to taste and suggested to tapau the rest home. Aunty J was most enthusiastic about that. She made us split a whole full pot. She didn't take our feeble 'just half will do' for an answer.

We didn't just go home with full stomachs and a giant bowl of cheng tng for dessert the next day. We even had more mee siam and sides packed for us which more than sufficed for another meal. OMG. No wonder N says that when she goes to her mom's, it's like going to the grocery store. We're so lucky to still be able to taste our dear friends' parents' wonderful home cooking. This is so so so so so so precious. 

My Most Dreaded Season of The Year Is Here

The moment Thanksgiving is over, I sink into a funk. I don't have an issue with people celebrating the season and whatever happy things they do. My dread and sian-ness of and with this season stem from feeling the pressure to meet family obligations to turn up at gatherings. I generally dislike Christmas and Lunar New Year. I dislike the festive season even more so when I'm made to attend gatherings that I resent. Going out doesn't make me feel better. Staying in does.

This isn't depression. This is me being a Christmas grinch. I never enjoyed this season even as a kid, except when I spent it with my Aunts in the UK, and the few times I hobbled over to Aspen and Vancouver. I'm happy to be with people whom I want to see. I'm not pleased at being coerced into attending lunches with bigots and making idiotic small talk with people I don't exactly care about. 

I'm thankful that friends get it. It's the older generation who doesn't understand introverts. They would just gaslight me and say, 'Oh i'm an introvert too. I don't like social events.' THAT IS NOT BEING AN INTROVERT. You have no fucking idea what being an introvert actually means. I'm not into hosting people at home or at restaurants, and definitely not into potluck in that sense. It's extremely pressurizing to even consider having people over at home. 

To be very clear, it is only the in-laws that's causing me this tremendous amount of stress. To that, I've been incredibly rude to them for the past few years because I simply have no more fucks to give. I refuse to do things that they want me to do. I don't understand why it's so important to 'seem nice' to other people at the expense of MY head space. FUCK THAT. And I say it out loud. I don't have the same issue with my own family because they have had 25 years to finally know what I am, and have learnt to leave me be. THANK GOD. 

In the recent years, the holiday blues got a bit better since I'm a Miss No-No. I've become very adept at saying NO flat out to things that I don't want to attend and don't want to do. No amount of cajoling or emotional blackmail the in-laws do can convince me otherwise. When people try to manipulate me into doing what they want because it makes them happy, I get into this belligerent mode and stand my ground. This has made it so much better for managing this heaviness in the heart that weighs down more each day as we get closer to December 25, and again when Lunar New Year comes around.  

If you're unhappy that I decline to attend these gatherings, that's on YOU, not on me. Respect my NO and be done with me. 

I'm not even enthusiastic about attending all gatherings hosted by friends. I'm just thankful that as years go by, these whittle down. Those whom I want to spend time with, already know it — I see them through the year, and I try to be present for them as much as I can because I CARE. 

Our Shared Humanity, Is It?

Of course I have an opinion about the ongoing Hamas-Israel conflict, and the dispute over the Gaza Strip and the Palestine Territories. I have very strong opinions about them. I'm just not saying it out loud on social media because anything said in that sphere is inflammatory and offensive to all sorts of people. 

To me, these opinions on the matters of Hamas-Israel and Palestine-Israel are as divisive as people voicing support for Republicans and their policies, especially their anti-abortion push. Religion is the biggest elephant in the room. If anyone starts preaching to advocate any sort of religious tenets, I react unpleasantly. I prefer to keep my conversations secular unless I know you very well. I do shut people down in social conversations the moment we touch these subjects, and I take immense pleasure to especially shut down people at family gatherings who do this. (Not that I attend many of those, but people without a brain cell or love rumor-mongering have come to dread my presence. Ha.)

Not everyone is an academic. Not everyone will be able to discuss this from a historical point of view or debate via a neutral political science analysis. It inevitably dengenerates into a 'I-think, I-believe, it-must, it-should' argument. Which is circular, moot and utterly pointless. Or best, 'I show you the videos and photos'. Suddenly, everyone is an investigative journalist, a photojournalist in a war zone or a military attorney.

I'm just glad that our schools are going to facilitate conversations and have the students read about the long and complicated history between Palestine and Israel, between Hamas and Zionists. This isn't an issue you could summarize off of social media 'information' without educating ourselves about the turning points, the agreements and the Six-Day War in 1967 and the Yom Kippur War in 1973. And we also must not ignore what's going on in Iran, Lebanon, Yemen and Syria, and well, Afghanistan. A nation's pride is an entirely different basket of snakes compared to a civilian family's pride and reputation. 

At the Parliamentary Sitting on November 6, 2023, our Foreign Minister outlined seven principles which have underpinned Singapore's response to what he has described as an "unfolding tragedy", a phrase that has been written into all our politicians' speeches. 

1. Zero tolerance approach towards terrorism

2. Legitimate and inherent right to defend themselves

3. Principles of necessity and proportionality in exercising right of self-defence

4. Immediate humanitarian assistance to civilian population needed

5. A negotiated two-state solution is the only viable solution

6. External events must not divide Singaporeans

7. Ensuring the safety of Singaporeans abroad

Singapore is this tiny. We must put our own self-interests ahead first, and not align with anyone based on geographical proximity or be pressured to. Singapore would be wise to go neutral and focus on humanitarian efforts and the call to avoid civilian casualties. But to what extent can we do that? Who are we calling 'terrorist' and branding their acts as 'terrorism'?

All I can say is, at some point, when does the legitimate right to defend your sovereignty, citizens and land and the right to retaliate with military might end, and genocide begins? What would it take to stop this current war? How many dead Israelis and Palestinians would it take to satisfy both sides? I'll reiterate, religion is the biggest elephant in the room. I condemn what Hamas did to Israeli civilians. I equally condemn Israel's (the civilians have no choice, the Israeli far-right government is leading the way) ten-fold punitive retaliation on innocent Palestinian civilians. This is my stand. 

Our DPM/Finance Minister/PM-designate released a statement too, on November 6's Parliamentary Sitting. He urged Singaporeans to stand united and not take sides in this matter. Haizzzz. Sure. If there isn't vested family interest in it. He advocates us to put aside emotionally charged opinions to consider our national self-interest above all. We must. Singapore can't afford internal ethnic or racial strife.

We are friends with both Israel and the Palestinians. But it doesn't mean we support everything each side does. Instead, we consistently take a principled position, in line with international law and in support of global peace and security. On that basis, we have voted in favour of many Palestinian-related resolutions at the UN over the years. For example, we have criticised Israel's settlement activities in the West Bank as violations of international law. We also voted against Jerusalem being recognised as the capital of Israel.

Such unilateral moves by Israel detract from the two-state solution. That is partly the reason why more and more Palestinians feel that violence is the only way to achieve their goals. The international community must therefore give Palestinians reasons to think otherwise. A nonviolent path to an independent Palestinian state must be made unmistakably clear. Then the ideas of organisations like Hamas and its belief in the use of violence and terrorism can truly be defeated. In all that we do, Singapore will act in accordance with our national interest, and that means consistently choosing principles and international law. That is what makes a small nation like us a credible and reliable and trusted partner on the international stage. 

年初三 :: 玉兔迎春添新象、人逢泰世隨兔躍

這農曆新年假期還是有很多餐廳繼續開門做生意，方便我們找吃的。呵呵。約朋友見面也多了些去處。不是每個人都樂意在家中弄個‘開放日’。和比較好的閨蜜當然能在家中喝杯咖啡，但若有其他約會得趕去，那約在小咖啡店是最佳的。

好開心能和 V 喝杯咖啡和一杯Prosecco，吃點布拉塔芝士和切薄的帕爾瑪火腿。她回國的那個星期剛好是我一連三天都得到醫療所做半天的 annual medical，不能碰酒精，少喝咖啡，晚上禁食什麼的、我騰不出時間和任何人吃飯，就拖到今天咯。幸好是今天見面。晚上得赴約吃一頓不能再推辭的飯局。還好有 V 的微笑大大減輕了這季節的壓力，緩和了繃緊的心情。

有些敷衍的活動是要做的、還是有這麼一餐是不能避的。就是和公婆在新年頭三天吃頓飯。我已狡猾地躲過了參與團圓飯，已經沒人敢說麼了。所以得找個不生氣的日子吃這頓飯。畢竟是新年，要生財，少生氣，對吧？

這一餐一定讓小狗陪伴。她是柴犬啊，譯音‘財’嘛，也有‘全’，就‘財全’咯！😂 這一餐不要吃什麼新年套餐、不要弄什麼傳統新式撈起。選擇了支持朋友經營的 GRUB Bistro，吃簡單的西餐。碰巧遇見了一群朋友也在這兒用餐。恰好是真正的朋友，我很樂意過去和她們打招呼。平時也會和她們見面，所以今晚碰面是件開心的事。

又是雨天，氣溫涼、坐外邊挺舒服的。既然沒有人想喝紅酒，那就沒order整瓶、自己兩杯紅酒足夠了。不敢喝太多。老公選擇了一份椒鹽炸魷魚和一碟挺開胃的海南雞沙拉。我要了盤凱撒沙拉。多吃菜好呀。呵呵。

除夕 :: 門戶臨風迎春入，高樓觸月接兔歸

I respectfully declined the invitation to the in-laws' reunion dinner on Lunar New Year Eve. It wasn't a venue that accommodated pets. And I was all ready to use Smol Girl as an excuse not to go. But I didn't say that, I literally said, "I'm not coming to this dinner. Thank you for the invitation." Nobody dared to continue the conversation. Over the years, I've made it clear that I'm not into these dinners and gatherings. I dread them. They don't make me feel energized or gladsome at the end of it; I feel drained, exhausted and resentful. 

The pandemic lockdowns and restrictions on gatherings were a boon to me. This year, I'm continuing to eschew all 'obligatory' (family or otherwise) social events. I'M DONE. SO DONE. They'll just have to understand that some people really dislike these obligations. Also, I'm hugely disinterested in the food. Some people would rather deal with my black face at these dinners than to have me skip it. The hypocrisy. I refuse to play ball. The moment I put my foot down and declined to attend the 'reunion' dinner (which didn't include Smol Girl), this huge weight lifted off of my head. I felt unburdened, and immensely relieved. 

The weather gods were in my favor too. It's been an extra wet week because a monsoon surge is expected in the region this period. This week, the rains are coming in at all hours, especially lashing in the afternoons. In comparison to the past three months, the thunder hasn't been too bad. I have no wish to leave the girl alone at home while I head out to dinner. If I curb my own socials in the evenings, then hell, no way am I going for this reunion dinner and return to bloodied floors and doors, and shredded paws. I didn't wish to sedate her with maximum dosage of Gabapentin while I attended a dinner that I didn't care for. Hello, PRIORITIES, PLEASE. 其中的利害關係輕重，我不多說、你們都懂。

年三十晚的心情是如此平靜。還有餘力給自己做份簡單的晚餐 — とても簡単なメニュー、釜玉うどん, たっぷり春キャベツと豚の生姜焼き. 預備材料和煮炒時間一點兒也不長。洗刷清理鍋和碗碟也輕鬆。這一份清靜太難得了。這就是進入記憶裡另一個很愉快的一頓年夜飯。#ImpieCooks2023

31 December 2022 :: Our Quiet & Mundane New Year's Eve

Just like that, we came to 31 December 2022. Where did the year go? We haven't traveled, and by right we should be having a bit of cabin fever or have some boredom set in. Yet, neither the man or I have time to be that bored. We were mad busy with work, and Choya. Time flew by equally fast and it's 2023 now. 

We intentionally and purposefully spent the last day of 2022 in the most mundane but loveliest of ways. The morning was spent walking the floofs, checking out a community event, and of course a long coffee at Nylon. The weather cooperated and allowed us to have a comfortable and long late afternoon walk at Botanics with Choya and Ryo. 

The evening of New Year's Eve was spent in the company of good friends, and our stomachs were filled with food gifts from good friends and loved ones. The New Year's Eve dinner was a simple affair at home with B and R. We made an impromptu last minute date. So we weren't inventive and we didn't go overboard with the food menu. Ordered small chicken pies and picked them up from Chicken Pie Kitchen. It was a one-plate Chicken Pie Dinner! Heh. 

Chicken Pie Kitchen offers abalone salad on the menu, but theirs is super sweet, with plum sauce and dried prunes and fruits. Since there were like 10 cans of baby abalones sitting in the larder (gifted by various people through the year), I rustled up my own version of abalone salad instead — with baby spinach, cherry tomatoes, peppers, strawberries, walnuts and unsalted cashews. Used a sesame-onion dressing to toss everything together. 

Then Ryo's nanny-helper made us a box of Filipino-style sweet macaroni salad (chilled) that is apparently eaten during town fiestas and Christmas. She used very very little condensed milk to cater for my lack of sweet tooth and upped the mayonnaise. Clever girl. That was so thoughtful of her. The box was just nice to feed us all as sides and not be too stuffed. 

Chicken pies with superb fiery Italian chilli and sides of the two types of salads made us rather happy. We were glad that the friends didn't mind such basic foods for a festive meal! They had suggested getting takeout of point-point rice and a braised duck or char siew of sorts. Hahahaha. But yes, chicken pie worked well. 

We had loads of coconut water, and plenty of whisky with ice and soda. While conversation just flowed, none of us wanted to stay till 'countdown', so to speak. Our stomachs needed to finish the last morsel of food by 8.45pm, and not have too much alcohol after. Hahahaha. The friends were sleepy and left by 10.30pm! Well, they would be having an early start on New Year's Day at 5am, so they needed their sleep.

Dessert comprised of thin slices of Aunty J's famous home-baked Christmas fruit cake. I'm so touched that she still portioned out a loaf of fruit cake for us. She injured her foot in a freak accident and is still in a boot hobbling around, yet she found the energy to bake us all a loaf each. Seriously. I didn't just text her to thank her. I called her and talk to her and check in with her and her foot.

Truth be told, I'm a tad fearful of 2023, of what the pandemic and ensuing recession will bring. It's going to be a rough ride. I'm not particularly optimistic about it. While my projects for 2023 are secured, and retainers have been paid, I could always do with more. With a bit of luck and may those odds ever be in our favour, I hope to get through the new year (emotionally) with the grace and support of friends too. 

Christmas Day 2022

I'm getting the quiet Christmas holidays I want. NO OBLIGATIONS. I don't want raccuous parties, I don't want to drink copious amounts of alcohol; I just want to read. I honestly wouldn't have minded skiing this season, trekking or doing something quiet in a wintry town. But as it is, there's a Smol Girl. So I'm keeping it really quiet and fiercely guarding my mind space.

A joyful mind maketh age flourishing: a sorrowful spirit drieth up the bones. [23] The wicked man taketh gifts out of the bosom, that he may pervert the paths of judgment. [24] Wisdom shineth in the face of the wise: the eyes of fools are in the ends of the earth.

~ Proverbs 17:22-24, Douay-Rheims

While Ryo’s pawrents are off skiing in the Dolomites, we took him for a staycation at ours and included him in our Christmas dinner. Ryo isn’t used to dining at restaurants or hanging out at bars the way Choya does so comfortably. He’s also a tad afraid of the dark. Christmas Day dinner isn’t the most ideal to take him out. So we stayed in. He was as happy as a lark rolling around on my floors.

Ryo was the cutest Christmas elf and came bearing loads of gifts for Choya and us. Aiyohhhh. His pawrents shouldn't have lah. I'm rationing Choya's gifts anyway. Keeping some. Otherwise there would be too much good stuff given to her in a two-week period! 

We had the foresight to take the floofs out for a mid-afternoon pee. There was a weird squall that rolled in at 5.30pm and lasted through dinner. Thank goodness there was no crackling thunder. I tasked the man to eyeball the floofs while I prepped dinner. It was nothing fancy — oven-charred Brussels sprouts, and a main of fennel roast pork with rhubarb sauce. The man was very happy with dinner.  

Choya had her usual raw meats, offal and bones. She shared a Christmas log cake (beef) with Ryo. I also grilled him beef chuck, and sliced it up for him. That silly boy doesn’t have a voracious appetite and I’d need to tempt him with small portions of food thrice a day. But he also can dig in his heels and not eat the whole day. This boy only eats when he's really hungry. He's 16kg; I have no idea how he's willing to go without food if he isn't in the mood for it. When he finally comes to look for me to ask for food, that could be at 11pm. Zzzzz.

A Christmas Meal with BFF

The BFF is off to the islands diving over the Christmas holidays. Before that, I grabbed her out for a Christmas dinner together. Didn't bother booking a 'nice' restaurant for a meal or dressing up. That's too fussy. Too much festive foods are a no-no for me; they might just make my IBS and indigestion flare. We didn't need 'designated' Christmas meals to be turkey and ham things. It's not necessary for us. 

BFF and I settled for comfort food. That was more important to keep our stomachs happy. We opted to have bowls of congee for our festive meal at Ah Chiang's at Tiong Bahru estate. We didn't have to make any reservations, and there was plenty of tables available when we walked in at 7pm. 

Added stir-fried watercress to share, and one century egg for me. Sliced ginger for her, and loads of red chillies for me. It was raining all day, but it cleared up in the evening. Our giant bowls of lean pork congee, and minced pork and fish congee were utterly satisfying. Happiness is this simple — comfort food with great company. Our friendship remains strong, and we value each other. There's nothing more I want for Christmas.

Tell Me What You Want To Eat

The beauty of ordering in food always lies in ordering different items for people with different tastebuds. When we have dinner in with the man's parents, we firmly remind them that we have starkly different tastebuds and we do not need to order from the same restaurant. I told them that if they persist in doing this hypocritical and polite "please order what you want to share" thing, I'll make sure that they end up with nothing they want to eat, and everything else would be too spicy. 

FFS, if I'm the one ordering food, you're not helping me with this stupid polite line. It's ambiguous and annoying. I can't guess what you want to eat, and I don't know what you don't eat. For example, when I was ordering items from Din Tai Fung and asked them what they would like, they obstinately carried on with "please order what you want and we'll share". I told the in-laws that if they insisted on not being specific, I'd order 30 dumplings and we'd all eat that for dinner. To me, a basket of buns or dumplings is dinner. Only then, they grudgingly told me they wanted chicken soup and noodles because they don't eat dumplings. THERE WE GO. KNN. WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT IT, SERIOUSLY.

I don't understand it. I accommodated it for years — "Please order what you like and we'll share", and every time food turns up, they complain that everything that is supposed to be spicy is too spicy (they can't take any sort of herbs or spices anymore but refuse to admit it or concede), it has coconut milk, it has this which 'I don't eat', it has that which 'I don't like'. OMGWTFBBQ. You know I don't eat take chicken and avoid like plague; I'll never order chicken. Then I get your idiotic line of, 'oh but there's no chicken?' F*ck you, seriously. If you want chicken, say it. How difficult is it to tell me all these BEFORE I order food? I can't read anyone's mind! Is it so problematic to tell me 'No, I don't want to share and I'll order my own mains'? Is that supposed to sound 'selfish'? I have had enough. You are creating problems when you refuse to be specific even when I narrow down a restaurant and ask you about it. WTF. Say what you want, and mean what you say. It helps me to order efficiently, and everybody gets the food that we want. 

This applies to restaurants when we dine out as well. How difficult is it to look at the fucking menu and order. Instead, the parentals don't even want to look at the menu, and go "I'll leave it to you to order and we'll share", and when the food arrives, they repeat all idiotic comments, and we get a ton of leftovers on the table because they don't eat what has been ordered. I finally put a stop to this nonsense in early 2021, and firmly remind them so every few months when they lapse. I tell them straight that if they carry on like that, dining with them at home or at restaurants is extremely unenjoyable. I asked them bluntly if they thought that this line made them feel that they're being nice and 'gracious' or what, because it's not doing anything productive; in fact, it annoys the shit out of the man and I. 

That night, we told the parentals that we ordered Indian vegetarian for ourselves for dinner, and we would order them Thai food. They obediently specified what they wanted from the Thai restaurant, which was very limited because every dish had to have little to no chilli. I got them exactly what they wanted. If they didn't like the dishes, that wasn't my problem. They can complain about the food for all they want because they ordered it. That I can merrily ignore. 

The man and I hadn't eaten at Nalan for ages, and thought we should re-visit it. They still do delivery, and we have two outlets to choose from now- the one in Capitol Piazza, and a new one on Serangoon Road. The food arrived late though, almost 40 minutes late. That was rather annoying. The restaurant pasted a sticker on the boxes to indicate that the food was packed at 5.25pm, and to please consume it within 90 minutes. To have the food arrive 130 minutes later at 7.40pm, that was rather dumb.  

All I wanted was an onion tomato uttapam with chutney and some dhal. It came with three kinds of chutney. Lovely! The little tubs of chutney were done thick in the way I prefer; they were really delicious. Also couldn't resist having the small podi idly that came in 11 cute pieces. I ate a good 6 pieces. Hurhurhur.

Luckily the food didn't go bad during the wait. The man's poori came with sides of channa masala and dhal. Added a mushroom kadai and dhal palak to share. Also ordered a cashew nut pulao since that would go well with the dhal, and leftovers could be kept for the next day. That was such a satisfying dinner. 

Uni at NUDE

We sorted out Mother's Day dinner at NUDE Seafood. When a restaurant serves up good food and also bothers to get a license to officially welcome dogs in tow, I show my appreciation by dining there often. I think they've forgotten my name — they refer to me as 'Choya Mummy', and often, address me as such in texts. 😐

The restaurant took pre-orders and offered some weekend specials. Their weekend special of lobster tom yum soup would be wayyyy too spicy for the parentals. The seafood stew that they had ordered would be too fusion for their conservative tastebuds, so luckily there was good old boring chicken. 

I had reserved a whole 'young' chicken that's on the regular menu. The last time I went to the restaurant on a regular week day night, they ran out of chicken. ZERO chicken, the most politically correct meat. Wow. Although the restaurant said that their regular menu didn't require pre-orders, I still did so for the chicken. If I don't do that, the parentals would literally have nothing to eat from the menu. 

The man needed a bit more food. So he added on clams in white wine and abalone tsukemen. Actually, I wanted uni. There were a few special dishes for Mother's Day, and uni was an option for pre-orders. Pre-ordered a box of premium uni (特上, tokujyo). A whole box. It was accompanied by rice and seaweed. Decadent much? Yes. No regrets. Mmmmmm. It was excellent. 

正月初七 :: 人日 :: 虎威笙風

We invited the man's parents over for dinner at ours. Decided to have yusheng since it matters to them. I don't even know why it matters to them when they're not... Chinese, and they keep emphasizing that, but whenever it suits them, they twist these 'customs' around to say that it's 'tradition and we must follow'. We never do. Anyway. Since it's the Seventh Day of the new lunar year (正月初七人日), I cut them some slack.

I wasn't going to do Chinese for dinner, not fully. Ordered dinner in from Thank Goodness It's (TGI) — Gastrogig X Chef Shen Tan. It has been a while since I tasted her food. I wanted to order her stuff earlier, but her delivery timings were weird and nothing matched my schedule. This round, Oddle hosted the ordering and delivery. It was seamless. The kitchen delivered promptly, and all the food was piping hot upon arrival. We kept them warm in the oven till the parents arrived. 

Ordered a super small portion of yusheng (with smoked salmon, baby abalone and lobster), kumquat roast chicken, 22-Spice kurobuta pork (sous vide then grilled), beef rendang and sambal goreng. The portions were surprisingly generous — easily feed four, and for the small eaters in our circle, six people. We had four at the dining table, and delicious leftovers that fed another three persons for lunch the next day! I boiled up basmati rice for the in-laws and uhhh nasi ulam for ourselves. I didn't feel like doing the seven-herb congee — nasi ulam works. Although I should have been lazy and ordered that in too since Chef Shen Tan offers that on the menu!     

The whole roast chicken was served at the table before being sliced up. It looked a lot more presentable like that. Since the in-laws can't take anything spicy anymore and don't appreciate spices, this roast chicken was ordered for them. It was sliced it to everyone's preferences. It was roasted beautifully. Marinated in housemade kumquat marmalade, it wasn't overly salty and made a refreshing change from the usual salt and pepper, and BBQ sauce versions. The man can't be bothered about chicken normally, unless it's been done superbly. He totally approved of the chicken breast that wasn't all dry and eeky. The moment the man made the first cut into the chicken, the dog came bounding out from wherever she was snoozing at. She obviously wanted some. She likes chicken, but it seems to give her loads of itching all over her body, so I hold it back. It's not her usual protein. Chicken feet are okay and don't seem to induce any yeast overgrowth. 

I was happy for the spices in the sambal goreng and the beef rendang. While flavorful, they weren't particularly spicy, and I forgot to order a bottle of sambal tumis to go along. I have sambal at home, but it would have been nicer to have Chef Shen's. Ahhhhh well. I really missed the sambal for the kurobuta pork. Sous vide for 16 hours and then roasted before delivery, it was thinly sliced, and I could easily cut away the fat, leaving the lean meat for me to enjoy. It was lovely, but would have tasted wonderful with chillies, and it tasted great with XO sauce. Heh. 

年初一 :: 虎躍龍騰生紫氣，風調雨順兆豐年

虎年啦。我好累，沒打算在家中搞什麼聚會。反正飯桌只能容納四個人。我也懶得煮。嘻嘻。那就很不客氣地去朋友家咯。沒有啦，也沒打算去拜年什麼的。雖說是聚會最多五個客人，但為主人家還是得忙上半天、我也不好意思打擾。熱鬧過年太可怕了。

我今年更刻意劃清界線，也多虧冠病條例墊底，連家翁家婆都不敢強迫我做我不願意的事。從去年底起，老公鼓勵他父母親安排他們自己心怡的農曆年節目，如到親戚家吃年夜飯、初一初二晚餐等等，讓喜歡熱鬧的人都聚在一起。搞大聚會？超數？全都不關我們的事。初一中午去給家翁家婆拜個年，就沒其他的應酬了。沒安排和他們吃午餐。去年那場戲無需重演。速速拜年、速速回家。這樣不是很好嗎？

今天。這個年，我還過得挺舒服的。我得償所願，過得清清靜靜。心境也平靜。

Indian-style sambal eggs.

初一晚餐我們下廚、弄了兩道辣辣有味的印度式 sambal 雞蛋和帶魚鹹魚茄子長豆菜咖哩 (fish and vegetable curry of silver beltfish, salted ikan kurau, eggplants and long beans)。

先把四粒雞蛋煮熟。Sambal 雞蛋重點在於那鍋 sambal 醬，以印度調味料為主。這道菜沒有马拉盞 (belachan)，所以不是馬來式。我們儘量不用現成的醬料。今晚也一樣，自己備料調味。我們家用幹紅辣椒，西紅柿，紅洋蔥和江魚仔打底，不到15鐘就煮好 sambal 醬了。#ImpieCooks2022

我們沒吃完整鍋，把兩粒蛋和醬放入冰箱，打算隔天再吃。有時候沒胃口不想吃大餐，這簡單地雞蛋辣醬配印度香米飯為一餐，也行！

Fish and vegetable curry of silver beltfish, salted ikan kurau,
eggplants and long beans.  

咖喱不是我的特長、是老公的。備好咖喱汁後，把鹹魚，茄子和長豆菜放進去。之後再放進帶魚和豆腐卜。真豐富。我沒刻意買條魚來蒸。今年魚價太高，有點不可思議。新年時期一公斤鯧魚要 $100！我才不買。寧願不吃。反正咖喱用鹹魚也行。雪櫃裡還有帶魚，也可以用上。

哇！這鹹魚還真開胃，給咖喱加了umami。當然，若你覺得過年吃鹹魚太寒酸了，那你大可別用。新鮮帶魚有很多小骨頭，若不喜歡挑骨頭，最好別吃。帶魚是最後才放入熱騰騰的咖喱的、別讓它散掉，要不整鍋咖喱都有魚骨，還能吃嗎。

年初一晚餐，我吃的飽飽的，吃得津津有味。

難得清靜。🈵

除夕 :: 牛辭勝歲，虎年報福音

輕輕鬆鬆地與BFF一起吃年夜飯。向餐館訂外賣六點拿食物，一點兒都沒令我們失望。簡單的菜餚還不錯。買了魚生隨便撈一撈討個吉利。比起逼我出席我一千個不願意出席的聚會，這樣的小聚餐更有意義。

(多虧冠病條例，今年連與家翁家婆的年夜飯也免了。他們去他們的爆人數年夜飯，我們去自己小小溫馨的。YAY!!!)

小狗狗也高興。她知道乾媽買了新沙發，立即往下鑽。可惜新沙發底下卡住、不讓鑽。她沒輒，就找個牆壁角挨著。最後她索性跳上沙發小睡。她很乖、不抓不咬。我們離開時，新沙發還很新。嘻嘻。

小狗也有自己的團圓餐食。我從家裡打包了她今晚的食物。我們大人在餐桌吃飯，她也在旁邊一起吃。她吃得津津有味。沒有準備特別的食物，這些就是她平時吃的。我不贊成亂餵東西。

BFF食庫藏了寶貝！她盡然有香港飛過來的臘腸潤腸！鏞記的臘腸和和興的潤腸！她捨得把幾條拿出來當是‘加菜’。哇！說真的，我有盤青菜和這臘腸潤腸配糙米飯，就是豐富的一頓了！

最後一次和 BFF 吃年夜飯是在2012的兔年尾。十年了。所以這2022牛年尾的一頓飯我非常珍惜。 我有好幾年都沒那麼隨意舒暢的享受這三十晚的年夜飯了。 

Still A Cap of Five To Gather Over Lunar New Year

News article on Today published on 5 January 2022.

On one hand, I'm sian about the continued restrictions. On the other hand, the government has so conditioned me till I'm almost thankful that the Safe Management Measures weren't tightened, i.e. Hong Kong this week. I can still get a life here. Let's hope our rules don't 'tighten' anymore and we go back to a semi-lockdown. However, my immediate reaction to this piece of news was "HELL YEAH."

The Lunar New Year remains my most hated Chinese festival. After last year's fiasco by the in-laws who were evaded my direct questions, lied and coerced me into a situation I wanted no part of, I lost it. I lost total respect for them and I made sure they knew it. My entire attitude towards them has changed, right down to the way I speak to them. I kept it formal, cold and distant. I'm well aware of consequences. I know these games. My family has schooled me in that for the first half of my life. To me, it's not a game worth joining. With a change of attitude, it tells you that I've decided to bow out of the game. Y'all can play it by yourselves.  

The same rationale applies — if I haven't seen you for a year, much less text or talk to you, then all the more I don't really need to see you for the so-called Lunar New Year. Why be a hypocrite. I refuse play this game. If you want to be part of a gathering of >5 or host one at whichever venue, don't tell me, don't include me, and don't fucking expect me to be part of it. 

Isn't it quite the irony? All the friends I have chose to play by the rules. For two years. And it is precisely 'family', that chose to break it, and expect me to be part of it. WTF. I've issued the in-laws a stern warning for the Year of the Tiger. I said it straight out last week because I was pissed off by something they said, so I retaliated. The restrictions and cap on the numbers to gather strengthens my case when I say no to requests. I can legit tell people to fuck off if I don't want to do what they want. Also, I've worked with old folks all my life. I know. 

Thanksgiving 2021

Spent a quiet Thanksgiving at home with the man and the dog. I volunteered to prep dinner, and made it an Asian affair. NO TURKEY PLEASE. We're not fond of turkey regardless of how it's done. Maybe a turducken done Asian-style with glutinous rice would be nice, but still. Only Choya loves her raw turkey breast and in the form of dehydrated crunchy treats (which are as good as food). 

I mark Thanksgiving, not as an adopted tradition as an adult, but as something the family has celebrated since my childhood, and I decided to keep it till now. Sure, it's not a 'full' family affair nowadays, but to some of us, we still keep the tradition alive because it means something to this uhhh faction. We've redefined it anyway, since the Falling Out and Moving Away (not just me ahh... it's a whole bunch of us. LOL). But I'm not as exuberant as they are when it comes to food and guests — they like them plentiful, I like them in moderation. The family always had turkey, as the default traditional meat, alongside two types of laksa, tok panjang dishes, and whatever sort of nasi that the grandmothers suddenly fancy. Now that the grandmothers have passed on, the aunts put whatever they wish on their table. As I do.

As I grow older, I begin to ignore the religious significance of it, especially when it involves a bloody narrative of Plymouth Pilgrims (colonists) usurping indigenous land rights. It's part of history, but I can choose not to observe Thanksgiving in that spirit. With that, I ditch turkey too, especially if I don't spend Thanksgiving in the US. I don't have a say if I'm invited out to someone else's festive table, If it's at our table, I always choose to purchase other ingredients to put together the Thanksgiving meal. I prefer to think of it as an autumn harvest festival similar to the Sukkot, and give thanks to all that we've been blessed with. 

It's pumpkin season after all. In-season pumpkin is extra sweet. That would totally be on the dinner menu. Not as a dessert, but as a savory main. (No pie for dessert. We had dark chocolate financiers and mikan for the man.) Since it's Asian and I'm not that creative, dinner would be simple. Nope, not pumpkin curry. Heh. 

Made a one-pot takikomi gohan (炊き込みご飯) of chicken and pumpkin. Marinated the bone-in chicken thighs in soy sauce and seared them quickly before placing them in the rice cooker. Skipped both the dried and fresh shiitake. The rehydrated (dried) scallops and mussels went in too, for umami. These are soaked in water, and that liquid goes into the stock for the rice too. When I'm unable to use the donabe on an induction stove, the rice cooker is indeed my best friend. 

Decided to put in a bit of effort to marinate pork bulgogi. The supermarket usually offers ready-made bulgogi, but it leans sweet the way bulgogi tends to be. I prefer it more savory and spicer, so I made my own. I could also choose a leaner cut than what the supermarket offers. Seared the pieces of pork first and set it aside. Then I fried up cabbage and yellow onions. Kept them slightly crunchy. Then I put in the pork bulgogi for a final toss with the cabbage and onions. Mmmmmmm. #ImpieCooks2021 

Even Choya got steamed pumpkin for her dinner this week. She doesn't have pumpkin in her meals all the time. She loves pumpkin, and it's good for her. She has it on rotation in her meals. For her Thanksgiving dinner tonight, I steamed some cubes of pumpkin to add to her meal, and for the next three days.

The man's family doesn't mark Thanksgiving, so this date doesn't feature in his calendar, and it bears no significance to him. But because it features in mine, he isn't going to reject food if I'm cooking it. Heh. It was another long day at work for the man, so he was super happy to sit down to a homecooked meal. 

For the abundance of food on this table, for the ones who have fed us, for the roof over our heads, for our health, and our wealth of blessings, for the freedom to pray these words without fear, in any language, in any faith. May these blessings stir us to continued service, and these gifts to us may be consciously used for others. Amen.

ノドグロの夕食

Dining capacity restrictions meant that we couldn't dine out with the man's parents. We still see them weekly for a meal. Them being helper-less (again) meant that we would have to be a bit circumspect in what we order to be delivered to their home. It would have to be packed in a way that require minimal clean-up. For the dad's birthday, we invited them over. Cooked a simple one-dish meal of Asian egg noodles tossed with lots of vegetables, scallops and prawns, and boiled Cantonese-style soup for them. But we don't want to do this every week. Cooking for four is very tiring when we're no cooks, and catering to different tastebuds is tough.

The parents are always nice to leave to us to order dinner for everyone. Sometimes it doesn't work. Being nice doesn't make anyone happy. Although we tell them so directly, they don't seem to understand that we don't actually eat the same food or want to eat the same foods all the time. Many restaurants generally can't cater to all of us. That is not an issue unless one makes it an issue. And my solution, is for us to each order what we want to eat from different restaurants instead of ordering from one to cater for all. The pandemic has made this so much easier. Getting takeout or delivery fixes this pronto.

While the point of having family dinners (extended or otherwise) might not be about the food, it would be made more pleasant if the food is palatable too. I rarely look forward to these dinners because I abhor the social interaction that comes with it. For an introvert, it's exhausting and it's bloody annoying. So at least, I could hope that the food is something I could eat. I need a distraction so that I could hold my tongue when opinions and viewpoints differ from mine and lean towards elitism and narrow-minded point of views. At the end of the day, I'm not a team player. I never have been and I don't want to be, so don't make me. I prefer to be known as ‘not nice’. The pandemic doesn't change this. In fact, it aided me in calling out the hypocrisy. 

That night, we decided to each order our own dinners. The man had a craving- just nice. So we ordered from Man Man Unagi — hitsumabushi of unagi for the man, and a grilled fillet of nodoguro (ノドグロ) for me. There is nothing in Man Man's menu for the in-laws. Yup. NOTHING. The in-laws chose to order in from Blue Ginger. Perfect, because there's nothing we want from Blue Ginger's menu. I don't eat unagi. But Man Man always offers an option of a fish. Tonight's nodoguro hit a spot. I enjoyed it so much that I barely reacted to anything that was said. Hurhurhur. The conversation topics aren't any of my business anyway — why bother commenting or offering a viewpoint. That's not my place to do so.

潮州式芥蘭菜脯炒粿條

Once a week, we have dinner at the man's parents' home. Their helper manages all of the logistics. The parents' tastebuds remain the same, and equally conservative, so when the same ingredients (sesame oil, ginger, black pepper and spices) are removed from the dishes, over the years, every helper’s food amazingly tastes identical. The man and my tastebuds have changed and shifted along the way, and I'm even more fixated on things that I prefer. Instead of complaining (of which I don't bother to do so, and really why should I be so self-entitled), I fix it by eating a proper meal before going over so that I don't actually have to eat, or I bring my own food. 

Also, after the February Lunar New Year debacle, I no longer play this game of hypocrisy. Being colder is exactly who and what I am, and that includes not compromising on food. I'm upfront with my friends, so I'll do the same to the in-laws. If we're eating together often, and this regularly, then I'm not going to lie or suffer allergy flares to eat food that I don't want or can't have. Why should I not be frank about it, especially when I'm more than happy to bring my own food and don't expect special treatment.

That night at the parents', instead of having the helper cook, the man and I decided to order from Swatow Seafood. Ordered some dishes for the parents, and some for us. We have made it very clear that we can't share food, and reminded them to stop saying that they would eat whatever we eat, because they don't, and they can't. Being polite about it isn't going to fill stomachs, or worse give you the runs because everything is too spicy. Even when it comes to Asian food, we don't share the same preferences, so whenever we dine out or order in, the dishes on the final bill would have to cover everyone's tastebuds. 

I had cravings and specifically only wanted two items. I wanted a steamed minced pork with salted fish. The Teochew-style fried kway teow with kai-lan and preserved radish (芥蘭菜脯炒粿條) totally hit a spot. The portions were meant for two or three people, or more if we simply nibbled at them. Besides the man, nobody else at the table would eat it. After the man took tasting portions, I ate up ALL OF IT. Hey, I was hungry! It was also very tasty. I love love love kway teow, especially kway teow done this way. I can't resist chye poh either. This is possibly the best meal I've had at this dining table in six months.