Tuesday, September 22, 2026

'If You're Feeling Sinister' :: The 30th Anniversary!


I really didn't mind catching Belle and Sebastian again. They last played in Singapore in this same venue in February 2015. I saw that show. That was 11 years ago. Tonight, many of us came to watch the band. It was a like a reunion show in all sense. Many of the friends brought their grown children along; that was too cute. 

Tonight, the band celebrates 30 years of 'If You're Feeling Sinister' (1996). They played the entire album! And a few more well-loved songs. The band members have all visibly aged. They have still got that consummate professionalism going on. The easy songs full of emotions, the familiar melodies and the practiced craft of everyone shone through. 

The band began super promptly. In fact, at 7.27pm, the house lights dimmed and a short little clip came up. The band was on stage and began with 'The Stars of Track and Field' at 7.30pm right on time! Of course they did 'The Fox in the Snow'. The album held so many great songs. But this is my singular favorite from the album. I now have a little floofy fox (more like a dingo) by my side too, with no snow. Heh. The band's songs held so many winter memories too. I mean, Glasgow is cold. Scotland is cold. 


There was no intermission, but after playing 'If You're Feeling Sinister' in its entirety, the band took a super short break to get out of 1996 before settling into the second part of the night — playing nostalgic favorites. Stuart Murdoch stepped down from the stage and walked into the audience, down a row, and up a ledge while the band did 'Dress Up in You' (from 'The Life Pursuit, 2006). Ahhh... showmanship. Loved it. 

I didn't know why the Esplanade ushers walked around with signs to indicate no photography or videos. That looked a little dumb for an indie gig. I can't believe the band's manager would issue that directive. I mean, people more or less adhered to it for the first few songs. But when the whole concert hall refused to sit down and stood up for the rest of the show, there was way to restrict photography and videos! What more when Stuart Murdoch came down to mingle, and more later on. 

Before the night ended, the band got a small crowd up to the stage to dance. It made for such a memorable show. The band sang the emo-ness of my youth. They accompanied me through many nights when I was so young and didn't know the ways of the world. The lyrics were like a balm to soothe my perturbed and disordered teenaged soul.

They didn't play 'Lazy Line Painter Jane' (from 'Push Barman to Open Old Wounds', 2005), but there were many good ones. Gosh. Where did the decades go? Ahhhh.... WHAT A NIGHT. It was absolutely lovely. 

Monday, September 21, 2026

New Shoes Are Always Significant


Sure, it's a story of migrants and the lives they have carved out in their new hometown. Each story is unique to every migrant. In this, we have the narrator who seems to have made it good for himself in London. This is 'New Shoes' by Hisham Matar, published in The New Yorker on September 6, 2026.

A young man left Cairo at 18 years old and worked in Italy and France, and finally settled in London. After eight years, he now owns a string of small newsagent shops. Money was tight back then, and he was the one who was able to leave Cairo instead of his older brother. Once he found stability in London, he was able to send more money home to his family in Cairo. His family warned him to stay away from politics because "politics brings only ruin".

I hate London. I hate and love it all at once. I haven’t told my brother this, out of fear that he would realize we only hate and love the places we believe we will never leave. I know how he thinks. Nor have I told him that I have always accepted that people like me are unwanted here. Needed, perhaps, but not wanted. It is plain to see. Nor have I told him that I learned to be O.K. with this, that in London, as in life, it is impossible to go on without a degree of indifference. You have to not give a shit.

All this to say that I am fine. I have learned to be away and I am doing well. Discovered a talent for business. I now manage not one but three shops, what here they call newsagents.

The story opens with said young man who is now much older. 12 years have passed since he left Cairo. He has only visited Cairo 12 times since, once a year. He talks to his older brother over the phone regularly, and he was told that he was still seen in Cairo walking down the street just some months ago. At cafes, in bookshops, etc. These played in his mind. He was homesick too, for his birth city of Zamalek. He hopes to return one day and make a life there. 

The brother's conversation topics got weirder and weirder. Every call included him telling the narrator that someone swore that they spotted him Cairo. There's this idea of a doppelganger of the narrator walking around in Cairo when the person in question lived in London, and only visits once a year. 

Readers begin to wonder if it's the brother's memories of the narrator that's presenting itself in these forms, or perhaps afflicted by a sort of dementia. We don't even know if these friends actually told the brother they saw the narrator, or the encounters are in the brother's head.  

I sensed, in my brother’s accounts of these supposed sightings, a tone of wavering disappointment. After his initial amusement, a vague concern lodged itself in his throat, coloring his words. What is even stranger is that I, too, began to sense myself divided, half here and half there. And so, whenever he said that someone had seen me at a particular café or bookshop or walking along one of the streets he and I know so well, I began to feel that I was elsewhere, daydreaming, as though the occasion had birthed in me a violent longing for home and my family. My present self, the self that had left and was getting on with the business of daily life in London, had somehow become divorced from the former and now somewhat hypothetical version of the man I might have become had I remained on my native soil. As the days rolled on, I held on to this superstition that I was cleaving in two. I began to feel lonesome, even more so than before, which made it all the more disturbing that in those alleged accounts of me in Cairo I was either alone or embroiled in some uneasy dispute. My life in London, the life I had cobbled together with the barest of routines, grew thin and unconvincing. It now seldom felt real.

After yet another odd phone call with the brother recounting someone else who said had seen the narrator in an argument with an older man, the narrator was shook. This was a phone call that happened after three weeks of radio silence from the brother. 

The book ended with the narrator buying a pair of fancy shoes at a fancy boutique on Jermyn Street. He chose a pair of lace-ups in horse leather. It cost eight hundred pounds. There was a 14-day return policy as long as the shoes weren't worn. He made a conscious decision to put it on immediately, and walked out of the store wearing it. It's a significant gesture. 

I stuffed my old pair in the box and walked to Trafalgar Square. I sat outside the Admiralty pub, lifted my foot up to the sky, and took a photo with Nelson on his column in the background. I sent it to my brother, with the words “New shoes.”

I could see that he had seen it. I watched the screen, expecting him to reply. I looked down at my feet and felt shame and regret. Eight hundred pounds is fifty-six thousand Egyptian pounds, I calculated. That is equivalent to half of my father’s annual salary. All spent on a pair of shoes. And my feet hurt in them. The man in the shop had said that’s because they would need to be broken in. I put the phone in my pocket. The sun was out. It was a nice evening. I decided to walk all the way home.

The ending isn't exactly left open-handed. The shopping spoke volumes. In an interview with Cressida Leyshon, the author is asked why the ending is such, 

At the end of the story, the narrator decides to go shopping for shoes on Jermyn Street, one of London’s toniest destinations when it comes to buying shirts, shoes, and accessories for men. Why did you want to send him there? What do the shoes represent to him?

I’d rather not spell it out. A good reader will know.

I laughed. Yeah. New shoes, as the titled suggested. And on Jermyn Street. But of course. I got that. It's a rite of passage, sort of. He absolutely would have to. 

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Three 90-g Beef Patties :: 挽肉と米


Hopped in for a late dinner at Hikiniku to Come (挽肉と米). I giggled at the name. It meant nothing very much in English, but it's a word play on the romanji. It's rather cute. At 8.15pm, we still had to wait about 20 minutes for a seat. The husband had no idea what this was about. He was absolutely keen on trying. It isn't common for him to be willing to wait an hour for a table.

It was a 'set menu' sort of thing. There's nothing to customize, and every diner gets the same thing. At S$25 per pax for what we get, it's a pretty good deal. You only need to choose a drink if you wish, and add on some side dishes. The restaurant offers chilled water at the side counter; we get a glass ourselves. 

Three cute and fat 90-gram hamburger steaks/patties filled me up nicely. These patties were grilled over charcoal in front of diners. As freshly cooked as can be. The marinade was delicious. There were plenty of condiments and ponzu, and grated daikon. The husband loved the patties. They were well grilled — just about well-done inside without being chewy. They were still tender and juicy. He liked the miso soup so much that he ordered another bowl, along with extra kimchi and potato salad (with minced meat).

They offer unlimited refills for rice, but a bowl is more than enough for me. It was good rice too. A bowl of rice seemed to be about 150g. I most certainly had no issues with tamago kake gohan, something that I eat often. Paired with beef, it was really a most satisfying meal.