At 10 years old, I adamantly swore I wouldn't have babies when I grow up.
At 16 years old, I thought babies were cute, as long as they were not mine.
At 21 years old, I thought babies were a financial drain and I wouldn't have that.
At 24 years old, I was glad to babysit, had to resist the urge to throttle the kid and thankfully return him to the parents at the end of the session.
At 26 years old, the entire world of friends you know got hitched. Suddenly, there was this big wave that rushed everyone into adulthood, major responsibilities and living. I thought babies would just cramp my style.
At 27 years old, I wondered if I should have a baby. I looked at my own finances, I looked at my relationships, I looked at friends having babies, I looked at their lives after babies. I looked at couples with adult children. I looked at corporate firms' family policies. I looked at the Singapore government's stance on family policies, grants and baby bonuses. The entire package didn't seem attractive for me to even want to consider a baby. I decided I shouldn't even have one.
At 28 years old, I hold firm my conviction seeded when I was 10.
23 comments:
likewise,i don't think i want children. they pull the 'support you when you're old' thing. but i kinda like old folks' homes. there're very stylish ones and i make enough to cover for old age and illness. i might miss family warmth in that sense, but it's not a huge draw.
it's a beautiful thing to have a kid with the man you're in love with. being a parent is only rewarding and a joy if your man is supportive and has the same inclinations.
i've 3 children. i enjoy having them the same way i'd have if i didn't have them. it's the experience of being a mother that i relish. you must at least be open to that idea?
i used to want children, family, picket fences. but now, i think i will not. the responsibility of having a child is too huge, too financially draining. so i decided i will not. and i don't feel any pang at losing out. and i'm way over 35 already.
hey imp...it's really a matter of personal choice i suppose. why don't you just remove having any opinions and see the natural course?
must have an idea of whether you want children or not. otherwise, it'll be just unplanned preganancy. maybe even unwanted. it'd be scary to go on an ad-hoc basis. ugh.
i guess a lot depends how much support parents get to raise the kid. it's not quite possible to be comfortable without both parents working. then childcare or some arrangements will have to be worked out.
there's nothing worse than having an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. married or otherwise.
oh yes, lovely if you finally find the man who loves you and will not forsake you, and then the happily ever after thingy... otherwise, i think it's better without them, for yourself and them.
it's a crazy world out there, i sometimes wish i was never born.
i'm at this crossroads. to marry or not? and to marry, have kids or not? it's a major migraine i tell you.
why don't you just forget all these considerations and have one? it could be fun.
i used to think i want children. then i thought i didn't. and now i'm not sure.
i don't know what's wrong with not wanting to have a child. sometimes it's just other's expectations on us.
maybe there'll be a time where you'll want children. when that happens, just do it!
My friends still laugh at me to this day, teasing me for saying that I won't have children, but later I probably would end up with the MOST number of kids.
I highly doubt that.
Anyway, I feel that too many people have children for the wrong reasons. I refuse to have them just for the sake of having company when I am old and gray.
Even with children, you should be out there having a grand ol' time with your friends and pursuing whatever your heart is passionate about. That's the way to keep feeling alive.
~5-Cat Style
i agree. a couple must want children in the first place. otherwise, it won't be a labor of love. it's just plain torture.
kids are a huge responsibility. you could be responsible for fucking up an innocent person's life, mind, future, etc.. (Your own child's) Most people don't prepare for children properly. With this kind of pressure, is it any wonder that I think I'm probably not ready for this kind of responsibility? But then maybe one day, when I want to share the love, I might reconsider...
Exactly my sentiments... BUT if you marry someone who really wants kids, that changes the equation.
Well...actually I had the same concept as you abt kids..they are rather a drag..like what some say..lowers quality of life..
But imagine your cute little thing being a little angel...wouldn't that be sweet? =)
i've a child. she's a sweet angel half the time and the evil spawn the other half. and many many times, i just needed to take time-out. i'm not the best of mothers. i'm just fair. but i don't feel guilty coz i don't have maternal instincts either. that's why i stopped at one.
this is like this looped argument. no right no wrong. it's always a matter of choices. and preferable if we are able make that choice.
it's kinda sad to read this post. at least for a woman who wants children, but can't have any.
ah.. no children for me. the idea of childbirth is just too painful.
if only they can grow babies in the test tube, incubate them in the tube or something and present them to me with a flourish. ta-daaa!
I love to play with babies too but BABIES GROW UP. That's when the real fun begins.
I can think of many reason not to have children, and only one reason to have them. Never mind. To each his own.
there're so many reasons not to have babies as opposed to having them.
Post a Comment