Part of my social life also involves catching up with foreign friends who are in town. I'd actually go out of my way to be nice to them. The man also has a gazillion of friends who pop into town every now and then. Over time, I'm delighted to know that he is warm and hospitable to those friends who mean a little more to him, and will also go out of the way to be nice and try to look at things from these friends' mind's eye and tailor our activities to that.
It's just the way a person is, I suppose. These things can't be taught. One either grows into it through the years, or not. I like a man who is a decent communicator. I want my man to be able to connect with the friends. I need a man who is able to understand what it takes to be hospitable without complaining about it. I need a man who has an in-depth understanding of global issues and possesses a cosmopolitan outlook. The thing is, I will never know all these for sure till I've dated a man for a while.
The man doesn't have to pander to my family just because they're my family members. I'm not particularly fond of many of them anyway. He doesn't have to be affable to my friends because they're my friends. I just need him to be civil. Likewise, I expect him to grant me the same courtesy.
It is not my nature to 'be nice' to someone because 'he is so and so'. I don't like these sort of obligations cast upon my social life. I will 'be nice' only because I truly like 'so and so'. It's a meritocracy system, yo. I don't mind you calling me a disrespectful little imp. Courtesy is given; admiration and respect are earned.
However, at times, we get really intellectual company in town. Couple that with a great sense of humor and we end up seeing our home country in a new light through the friends' perspectives. We each have our bugbears about certain friends the other has. So we've agreed to disagree on those friends. So I needn't go to certain outings of his and he doesn't have to come for my events. Perfect. But we have lots of mutual friends whom we love to bits. For now, they seem to be in abundance.
They say it's a good thing when we see eye to eye on most issues and even agreeing to disagree on the rest of it. Yes?
11 comments:
“Well, a side effect of eating this local fruit is that it makes your face all blockish and flaky. And no one can recognize you after that.”
did the friend in the pic enjoy the durians??!! *evil smirk*
ha! so true... it's hard to put on a mask all the time so why bother right?
Just be the person you are people will like you for that :)
Ohh.. rare scene: did the friend enjoy the durian? :p
.. it's a good thing when we see eye to eye on most issues and even agreeing to disagree on the rest of it. YES!!
yesh yesh! i'm only nice when i truly like that person but i'm never rude. as you said "Courtesy is given; admiration and respect are earned".
and we can't be liking the same things/people. life will be so boring if that's the case, don't you think? i did a likliness game on facebook with my man and we scored 82% (same difference) - good enough lah!
do you guys sometimes get pissed off if there's a friend's event that u need him to go but he doesn't want to, etc, etc or vice versa?!
you know that word 'nice'. so irritating. i'm reminded of what my mom always tell me, 'be nice okay', 'you've gotta be nicer to people', 'be nice to your cousin', 'be nice to your aunty'.
it's like, i'm naturally NOT 'nice'. heh.
overrated word in the english language man.
The ability for couples to agree to disagree is very powerful. You guys seem like you've found a good balance!
but do you really really agree to disagree. i mean, wouldn't it bug you forever?? and then there's this sour taste in your mouth?
cavalock: wahahahahah!
queenie + shutterbug: he was traumatized by it! he hates the smell! but i admire that spirit of trying out new things. he actually ate 2 fleshy seeds! beautiful!
sinlady: heh. yes!
kikare: yes! i'll just grow mould if the man's like me. i wouldn't need him around then!
gerbera: oh yes. but we work it out. like explain why we want the other to be there. and then talk about bribes. :P
andrew: oh...i know you! you're NOT nice! but hey, since when do you listen to your mom? i hate that word.
corsage: think so. hope so. we each have our individual space and we respect that!
fern: initially, tough. but by and by, it's ok. because there're things that i like to do alone too! heh.
Yes..!! well said.. or should i say .. well written.. ;) my sentiments exactly.
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