The man has fixed up a dinner and gig date with his best girlfriend!
And the silly duo want me along. The girlfriend has threatened to kidnap my bears if I don't turn up.
Very sweet of them. But I really don't want to barge in on their date night. Sure, they talk over Skype, emails and all, but it isn't quite the same as meeting up in person to chat. They definitely have lots to catch up on. She isn't in town that often.
There was a period when I was really insecure about the man going out without me. But that period is over. Nowadays, I don't need him to 'report' who, how and what. I only need to know that he'd be out on his own at a jam, a gig, bar, whatever. I don't need him to text me 5 times over the next 5 hours to tell me what he's doing.
We already live together. So I advocate 'apart-time'. It's a good thing, I feel. Aside from the day when we're separately at work, we should split and do our own things at least (preferably) 3 nights a week. Otherwise, I won't have enough time to see my friends and do naughty impie stuff!
Likewise, I'm quite happy when he's away for his work trips and vice versa. I don't quite miss him that way. Work travel has been too ingrained in our lives till that it doesn't make an impact unless the trip lasts for more than a month.
I shall go have a massage and a facial. The best thing, when I get home, there will be no one to squabble with me over using the big desktop. I can surf online in peace. I don't have to fight with the man to put the air-conditioning warmer. I can go without air-conditioning.
Speaking of which, now that the man's on his way to pick up his girlfriend, I better remind him to hold the drinks and send her home properly at the end of the night.
12 comments:
I love chilling out on me own too...and letting him go out for some quality catch up was cool too.
you're a secure person.
it's better that way. they say, to hold on to love is to let love free. or something to that effect lah.
I like your magnanimity. Some "me" time is good.
welcome to the club!
for me the important thing is you can enjoy each other's company when doing the most mundane things (like watching silly tv), and i think it's good that we have separate interests and have separate activities - in that way, we get to learn new stuff and hear new gossips mah :)
Poor Bowie - the things he had to go through tonight. No bear should have to go through them *shudder*
carrie: totally.
tuti: only now lah. last time wasn't at all secure.
ice: so that i'm not subsumed in the 'we' mindset. i'm still ME!
kikare: YEA! *high five*
dawn: his torturer is a mean and evil WITCH!
I guess, the longer the reationship, the more secure one becomes in the knowledge that he's not going to do anything stupid to hurt you. And the build up in trust too comes with time. I used to be bad in this (I suppose you know this already), but now I actually enjoy my me-time and when he's away, I find myself planning what I want to do when I'm with me alone. That is cool.. I wouldn't think that I will come to this. And I know it will just get better and easier with time.
jomel: agreed. it comes with time and how the parties work the relationship to develop the trust factor. and sort out trust issues.
I m still learning to be more secured too, getting better each year. :P Time will judge and see if a r/s can withstand such test. It is definitely beneficial for both parties to have their own time apart. :-)
Please, as if you ever needed to be worried.
And as for the person who threatened the bears, I am sure she had a very, very good reason. BTW, I hear that the Man put up a spirited defence to protect them.
Well done girl! It takes a lot of emotional maturity (nothing to do with age in numbers) to reach this level in a relationship! Many people struggle to achieve this. So very happy that both of you are confident and responsible where the partnership is concerned and understand that loving someone is quite different from being in love! Way to go my friend ;p
iceaster: we must. there's true happiness in there.
dawn: of course i do. i'm a girl who whines! spirited huh? i bet you he can't wait to get rid of them. wahahahhaa.
Belinda: you and your husband have provided us with plenty of inspiration too and taught us how! You both are our role models!
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