It Would Tug At Your Heart

It's interesting that there're more orphanages in Vung Tau than old folks' homes. As it is in many countries, there is a trend of parents abandoning their disabled or ill newborns at the orphanages simply because they can't afford to upkeep children who aren't 'normal' and won't be able to contribute to the family income.

It's the reverse for Singapore. We lack babies on a national scale. There're less orphanages in Singapore than centres for old folks. In Vung Tau, married couples rarely live on their own. They live with either set of parents still, or with their siblings, i.e. extended family; unlike Singapore where the social trend leans towards a nuclear family. It's either a necessary evil of urbanization and turning cosmopolitan or an erosion of our so-called Asian values. It depends entirely on one's perception.

We visited a state-run orphanage with 2 cartons of soft toys and baby clothes. I'm not hot about donating these stuff, but the office thought it was a good idea. I mean, yes, the orphanage would appreciate our gesture. But does it really help? Giving certainly makes us feel good. But are we giving in the right way to meet the real needs of a particular charity? You know me- I staunchly believe in either giving time or cash, or better still- arrange for delivery of milk powder, diapers, vitamins, disinfectant, milk teats/bottles and other necessities, the usual way I've done with my old folks or things I've been sneaking around doing in other ASEAN countries.

This branch takes in newborns to children under 10 years old. About a hundred of them live in the 3-storey compound. Most are born with physical disabilities and illnesses. They're so aware of strangers intruding upon them. They followed our every move and responded to our grins and waves. We didn't dare to step into the rooms to disturb the peace, but stood to watch from beyond the windows.

Digressing, if fate ever intervenes and I miraculously change my perception about raising a child in Singapore, I'd opt for adoption, not pregnancy and having children of my own. If and when that happens, I believe I'd possess the altruistic ability to adopt a child who's disabled or disadvantaged. Those are the ones who truly need my care and love. I'm not the sort who should have my own children because I'll be very very hard on them to be nothing but the best. They need to be better than I (or the man) am. I'll not be able to give them unconditional love till they show me that they have earned it through depth and breadth of character or abilities. Ah well, that's another discussion for another day. :)

Moving on, if I get involved in the work of Vung Tau's orphanages, it's a conflict of interest with my job. Plus children issues are really not my area of specialty. Not quite enough- it's never enough. There can only be a sustained effort. The friends are well versed in them. So I'm very clear that it's more important that I pass on the information to the right people.

Too bad I don't have time to visit the old folks' centre here. I would really like to see how it is- the level of facilities, care and quality of living versus what we have at home.