After work was done in the morning, I ran off to have a final cup of coffee and some rolls at The Shop before leaving Phnom Penh. The girlfriends were mildly amused. "Are there no good coffeeshops in Singapore?" I made a face at them. "Need you ask?" The cup comes in quite a small size, but packs a punch. So I ordered 2 cappucinos for good measure.
After the girlfriends returned to work, I was left with yet another cup of coffee, the ipod, a book and plenty of unsettled thoughts and feelings. Would I miss this? A little, but I can always travel on my own. It's the extra insight that work trips provide that I'll miss; feeling the pulse of the country through the work projects and weighing it against all that I know about it.
I'll be back in the office tomorrow, receiving a piece of news that would become certain in the form of an announcement. I should sit next to some coughing person on the plane. I feel like falling ill tonight and calling in sick tomorrow. I'd like to stay in bed all day. I think I might cry hearing it.
This is worse than breaking up with a boyfriend. I've always done that quite mercilessly, especially when the men became a liability more than being an asset. But on the job front, I'm all emo about it. I've already made the decision to leave, and now that circumstances have forced that to happen faster, why do I feel so sad about it? If I'm going to leave, why does it feel so painful?
4 comments:
wish you strength for tomorrow..
it's painful to leave because you believed in the work. but like always, something better will open up.
It's part of the process. Take heart.
You have put in your heart in the job, that's why it hurts. Take care.
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