We, the boys and the girls, don't need to chill out at indie bars all the time, or insist on original pieces. We know how to let be, hang loose and strum the cover songs (well) too. Ummm....there were many songs we could all sing to, but we didn't know the titles! There was plenty of furious googling last night as we grinned at the friends on the stage.
There're things I can live with. There're matters I can bear for a couple of months, but I won't suffer the change to my demeanor or chinks in my principles or beliefs. I will not be drawn into this sort of conflict. Once the line crosses, it doesn't take much to make a snap decision to tactfully wind up this little chapter that I've always known to be tentative. Receiving the confirmation letter before the end of the probation jolted me out of the "I can do this" mindset. Being able to do something doesn't mean I will continue with it, or like it, for that matter. I got out of the 'should I, should I not' phase rather quickly.
The friends are more than relieved to see that I'm done. They quietly wonder how long I could continue doing this. Well, I wasn't suffering; many parts were an incredible eye-opener, and some were pleasant. But the imp the friends know, isn't a 'yes-girl'. Sitting in the middle of the bar soaking in the music and bobbing along to familiar beats, I knew I'm never meant to be a corporate rat. It's not a facade I can maintain well. Bumming around is just so much more fun. That said, my interpretation of bumming won't be the technical definition of it. I am just, the imp, free spirited and unfortunately, still fiercely idealistic.
If you think getting drunk was part of the party plan, it wasn't. It was all very civil. There were some beers and cocktails, but nothing madly gulped. I drank 1 glass of crap mojito, 1 canned tomato juice and 2 teeny bottles of Perrier, and went home at 2.30am a very happy girl.
10 comments:
as what the imp stands for. good for you. i can't imagine you in the situation where you'd need to stand for unnecessary crap. (read your twits)
i think it takes courage to let go of something, knowing that it's not for you, even if you know you can hang on to it, if you know what I mean.
Welcome to the bummer club... that makes 2 of us!
Things didn't work out and glad that you stuck by your principles and decided to close that chapter. I'm sure you'll figure out what to do next given your boundless energy and spirit.
Sorry things didn't work out for you. But bravo to you for standing by what is right. It can be hard to do so in the corporate world.
I REALLY look forward to your bumming adventures and hope I get to do some mini bumming together too ;) Am so happy for you.
tuti + wildgoose: I can't compromise on certain things. i'm aware i'm lucky to be in a position to walk away. in this case, if i don't walk away, i'll be so asking for it, and no one will feel sorry for me if i whine. :)
jomel: WAH. the only thing that took courage to do, was to walk into my boss' office to tell him face-to-face that I'm leaving. Hehehe.
lady J: You've a more valid reason to 'bum' than me! I can't even cook or keep house! The man has decided that I'm about as useful as a cute bear. Kekkekekeke.
corsage: OH YES. PLEASE. Can't wait to do that with you. :)
I rather be a 'cute bear' lor... The state of my nails and hair now... Haha...
One of your friend wrote in your FB wall, that it's just a little detour. How true I thought. I had one of these detours too.. Haha! I guess, after 2005, I just knew that I was made for bumming around too. :P
ladyJ: DIY masks! hand masks! feet soaks!
Jo: Heeeee.
oh...this has to be a good thing :)and let me try again about a get together very soon.
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