上海所谓的‘婚姻市场’

It was a bright day to be out and about. Walking through People's Square, we wondered why so many people were gathered and seen deep in discussion in one corner. When we walked closer, then we realized we had stumbled upon the 'Matchmaking Market' (所谓的‘婚姻市场’).

My my. My eyes widened. "Have you seen this?" I demanded. The bff shook her head. Buried in non-stop work, she hasn't seen many parts of Shanghai, clearly. This is her first time spending Chinese New Year in the city too. She has this odd look of irritation on her face as she scanned the scene. Excitedly, I ran up and down the length of the wall. It was the whole street! And a pavilion! This is GOLD. I've gotta see this properly! I made everyone pause so that I could read some of the wordings on the posters.

I'm not sure what to feel while strolling by the length of the low wall. People are taking this so seriously. It's like, I'm witnessing prayers at the people's 'temple of hope'. Let's not go into whether matchmaking works. You know how I feel about it. More intriguing to me, is the emphasis that parents place on marrying their daughters off, and ensuring the continuity of the family line, as well as finding someone to take care of their sons.

I peered at the posters of the females, some with photos and many without. This week, many of the girls on the average were born in 1987. They would be 25 years old, and their parents had placed their biodata with phone numbers in hope of marrying them off! Arrrrgh. I shall keep my mouth shut about this phenomenon. 25 years old only and the parents worry about their marriage prospects?! Okay, breathe, impie. Different social norms apply in different cultures and context. Even though we're in no position to comment on this social phenomena, we're in no way unfamiliar with it. Many Singapore parents are exactly the same, and speak in that same urgent resigned tone when they talk about their unmarried children. Our society should stop trying to dictate individuals' life choices and do this social engineering thing on every government, macro and micro level.

The men too, were up for 'grabs'. Educational qualifications, salary and the sort of girl they were seeking as wives, etc were all listed on the leaflets. Many wanted women from Shanghai, indicating that they wouldn't be willing to relocate to another city. Bff leaned over and whispered, "We'll not make their grade. Do housework?! Cook?! (顾家，贤妻良母，好厨艺等等。) Are they wanting domestic help or wives?" I shrugged. It totally depends on one's definition of 'wife'.

I saw a number of foreign, non-Chinese men advertising up there too, listing only age, salary and educational qualifications, looking for Chinese wives. Why? Have these men settled in Shanghai and decided to marry a woman here via this way? Some would be scams, I hear. But strangely, most would be legitimate messages of hope.

Linking arms, the bff and I finally left the corner. We shrugged again. The bff and I, through the years, we place each other high on the priority list, way above all the dates and men we've had along the way. This includes the current beau. And our men know it. Ahhhh. To each his own. And not having a man doesn't mean the end of the world for a girl. And for a girl to focus her life on a man and his activities, is a tad...sad. What are you left with at the end of the day? Who are you? Who have you morphed into? What have you become?