Time To Breathe

For the friends who have become mothers, the nature of our friendship will change too. There's no way of telling whether we'll still remain friends. I like to think that it's their choice, but in reality, it's as much my choice too. Unfortunately, I'm guilty of staying away from friends who talk about nothing but their children whenever we meet, or of children's matters, accomplishments, classes and whatnots. Their entire persona has been taken over by that of 'a mother'. When I ask them how they're doing, they actually shrug and tell me that their lives have been taken over by the children and nothing they do is about themselves anymore. Hello! Not an encouraging answer! I'm sorry, but it's just not a topic of conversation I'm interested in. I want to know about you, who's my friend, not your children, who aren't strictly speaking, my friends. It's as bad as sitting through a whole conversation littered with talk about...certain other topics. For them, they're probably even more sympathetic that I'm unable be able to share this part of their lives with them. It's fine though. They've chosen to prioritize, and that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Other friends who have become mothers, have opted to retain a very tight grip on their individuality and identity, retain the sphere of their interest to more than the immediate circle of family, and have determinedly woven their social circle to be part of their lives. Their priorities go something like, 'I, husband, then kids.' For these friends, I'm privileged to be invited to remain part of their lives. So damn glad that they're not the nazi mothers who place judgment on how other mothers should live their lives. Have you seen some of the things those groups and forums expound upon? It can be really scary.

Anyway, this is a facet of life I'll not explore. Not even curious. Quite happy to see it through the friends' eyes and their lives. Some ask, "As you grow older, won't you then have to hang out with younger friends who don't have kids, as opposed to hanging out with your similar age-group friends who don't have kids?" Hehehehe. I see where the question comes from. Nope. Well, majority in my social circle of this age-group, unsurprisingly, don't have children. I don't face an issue of having no friends to hang out with, at least, not yet.

A morning filled with sunshine then a steady drizzle through the day. An unexpected coffee with the girlfriend. Precious time-out for her as a new mother of more than one, valuable time with someone I care about, and happy that she makes time for me. At the end of the day, it's always about the fundamental values of a friendship, isn't it? If the friendship isn't strong to begin with, then there's not much point to continue with it through the years, especially when our lives can only lead onto distinctly separate paths. Letting go would be the wiser choice. Meaningless meetings wouldn't be the hoped-for-catalyst to better conversation or an enduring relationship.