10 Years of Being We, You and I

As a little girl, I hated pink and gender-specific toys and expectations. I've always known that I don't want the conventional marriage or bear children and raise a family in the way of social norms. That notion took root as a teenager, and I learnt that I prefer changing diapers for adults than for babies. Consciously, I've always dated people who share that ideal, man or woman, regardless of race or religion. It's nice to have a partner, but if one doesn't happen along, it doesn't matter. There's so much more to life.

Today, the man cleared out ticket stubs from Mosaic gigs. He grinned and reminded me that we've dated each other for 10 years. I stared at him in horror. Has it been really 10 years? *gulp* Held up fingers and counted. Thereabouts. Well, I definitely spent the first few years trying to dump him. :P There isn't a specific 'whatever-anniversary' date that we consciously remember. Well, except the wedding anniversary, I guess. But we don't care to mark it. It's not of particular significance.

It's been a cool 10 years. Moving in together and carving out a new life that includes but doesn't revolve around each other is the milestone. It doesn't take a ketubah to bind a partner. If mine can so easily walk without the so-called security of a marriage contract, then he isn't THE ONE. If we didn't live together prior to other forms of commitment, how would we know we can tahan each other's quirks? I don't take well to the thought of having to 'live with it'. Hell, no. 

The man and I are on the same page when it comes to fundamental values and outlook on certain topics and issues. (We're pro pre-marital sex, pro-choice, equal love, and all that.) Yes, each other's opinions and feelings are given due consideration and a measure of priority, but individual identities are fiercely retained. Wedding vows didn't include the words I heard as a child which didn't sit well- 'worship' or 'obey'. The man's Jewish vows focus on 'love', 'honor' and 'cherish' and to love the other as your soul; acceptable. Individual passions are nurtured and encouraged to blossom, serving in the communities we separately believe in. A relationship requires work; it doesn't feel like a burden when there's much love. We give thanks that ours has been surprisingly easy. We grow and change as the years pass, as everyone does, and to that end, we're in love with each other, ceteris paribus.

I've always known what I wanted. Being 36 is awesome. I love what I do, and I'm glad to have a partner who shares these ideals. I held niggly doubts, despite instincts telling me that this one is a keeper, and has been so for years. I asked. "Is this enough for you?" 

Now clearing out air-ticket stubs and hotel receipts, the man paused. He came over and held my hand. He looked at me squarely and said "Yes." Then went back to his attempts of being neat.

And that is enough for me for now. I'd like to hang out with the man a while more. But should the status quo shift in the future, I think I'll do okay. Don't mind romance, but I'm a pragmatist.