I'm 39

The day began with a few short laps at the pool and an extra grueling session at pilates. Today, I turn 39. I'm pretty okay with who I am and how I want to live this life, and I don't care to be known to anyone as 'a nice person'.

I've always found joy in solitude, books and various pursuits which don't require much fellow human company. I've been raised by strong and independent women who were and who are immensely talented, articulate and wise, flouting all conservative and traditional gender stereotypes. From them, I had/have a choice of what type I want to be. I'm taught to love myself, to value sincere friends above false praise, casual flings and summer romances, and above all, live by God's word and my conscience. Consciously, or unconsciously, I've gravitated towards women with these same principles to have and hold as friends. My closest girlfriends are astute and focused individuals who share scarily similar traits, but are differently and fearsomely awesome.

I actually don't hold this idea that a marriage is for life. 👀 It lasts for as long as two people are inclined in love, and want to go through life's milestones and decisions together. It's a partnership. A marriage works when two persons' fundamental values align, and there're shared visions, ideals and lifestyle, and most importantly, mutual respect. A long time ago, I've declared that my life will not feature biological or adopted children. Say what you will, but I've never felt the so-called maternal instincts tug. Found a blog post written a decade ago about it. That conviction hasn't shifted. *shrug* Let me be Fierce Nasty Aunty Imp. I'm thankful to have stumbled upon a partner who agrees with me on these vital viewpoints and issues.

At one point, I decided that I didn't want career goals or achievements to be part of my identity. I don't need to be someone. Today, I'm proud to tell you that I'm an average human. I'm not an artist, not a socialite, not a musician, not an entrepreneur, not a writer or a professional of any sort defined by our general societal standards. However, rest assured that I'm not wasting my years of elite academic education. 😁 My existence should matter to no one except my immediate circle of Faeriefolk.

I take no credit for the luck in being born in a first-world (debatable) city, and an incredibly privileged existence. While I have my health, I'm going to spend this year (and beyond) being grateful, continuing to serve my causes and those in the community whom, for many years, I'm already committed to. The last year of being in the thirties. I can't wait to step into my fourth decade.

A recent January evening in Thailand.