Don't Let Avocados Best You

I couldn't help but laugh and wince when these lines caught my attention, "Avocado lovers beware: Super Bowl Sunday could be the pits. It all depends on how you slice it." Those were from Erin Ailworth's 'Super Bowl Means 'Avocado Hand' is Back—With a Vengeance' published in The Wall Street Journal on January 28, 2020.

Mr. Segall’s wound puts him in the ranks of thousands who have fallen victim to a grisly side effect of America’s avocado obsession: avocado-hand, the name given to the stab wounds, lacerations and—in extreme cases—tendon and nerve damage sustained when slicing or pitting an avocado.

Not that I care about Super Bowl or even its performances, controversy and whatever else. I don't really watch much sports; not into soccer, football or rugby. But one can't help noticing how America decimates avocados during the Super Bowl season. Super Bowl = plenty of guac and chips going around every television set. That means a shit-ton of avocados will be consumed, and many poor sods will be pitting and slicing them up. Avocados are slippery. All you need would be two seconds of distraction. Ouch.



I eat a lot of avocados. I've been eating a ton of them since I was a kid. I never grew out of eating avocados. They're quite the perfect food item to keep me full and happy. Love'em. I like them best roughly mashed with raw shallots, a sprinkle of garlic and onion powder, a drizzle of fine olive oil and the tiniest drops of lemon juice. NO CORIANDER. NEVER CORIANDER.

You'll never know whether an avocado punks you till you slice it up. Avocados don't ripen on the tree anyway, so they're quite the perfect kitchen decor on the counter. I usually have rather good luck with avocados (there're exceptions of course). The knife I use ain't sharp. If it's a ripe avocado, you really don't need a sharp utility knife. A fish or a butter knife will do, and then scoop out the pit with a thin-edged spoon! That said, I've succumbed to an avocado slicer purely because it works so efficiently. I now be slicing avocados at least thrice a week, so I don't actually want to risk it with a knife. But yes, a knife is needed if you want to plate it into slices instead of mashing it into breakfast guacamole.

Charles Daly, assistant professor of orthopedic surgery at Emory, said the attributes of an avocado make its handling ripe for accidents. 

“They’re soft and then suddenly very hard and kind of slippery, so it’s the perfect set-up for stabbing yourself,” said Dr. Daly, who co-authored the study. 

The researchers concluded that education and public-safety initiatives, “such as warning labels and avocados engineered for safe preparation, could help prevent serious injuries in the future.” The study also noted “knife-alternative dissection tools exist that can safely aid in the fruit’s dissection, including a spoon to scoop the pulp from the exterior skin.”

My avocado for brunch yesterday. It ripened nicely.