Pandemic Rage

So after all that, we have an explosion of infections with the Delta variant, and COVID-19 clusters mushroomed, we're back in Phase 2 Heightened Alert (P2HA). Much has been said about the KTV clusters. We've got naive policymakers. I blame both the enforcement officers (who didn't raid the venues and put a stop to it) and KTV operators (who refused to play by the rules) and everyone complicit (selfish and inconsiderate. I hope you get STDs and your dicks fall off) in illegal gatherings. Then the Jurong Fishery Port cluster boomed and affected all the seafood suppliers and fishmongers across the island's wet markets. Our government has no appetite for risks, and doesn't want the hospitals anywhere near capacity. BUT, THE SHOW GOES ON. What the heck.

I feel so so sad for the restaurants, gastropubs and the legit F&B operators. They spent a weekend agonizing over how to turn away unvaccinated groups of customers or figuring out which humans can dine together in groups of five and with how many children, their efforts came to naught as no dining-in rules kick in for a month. I don't know how long restaurants can survive with repeated closures in the year. I also feel so much pain for the theater people and the musicians, as well as fitness trainers, and those in the various industries. There's only so much one can innovate. How many home cooks and bakers can our island sustain? Or private hire drivers? It's miserable to go without income for a year. 

I have little tolerance for covidiots, and no kindness for these people. I almost lost it at an older couple over two afternoons. Yup, two afternoons. Two obviously idiotic heterosexual couples. These four humans refused to wear masks properly and didn't see a problem with it. These are educated humans; this is the second year of pandemic restrictions. Don't you assholes know better? I didn't want to engage them. But they opened their mouths first to address me. I only let them have the sarcasm. They didn't feel the full force of my rage. I hope all these older covidiots are vaccinated at least. (*whispers* Or let them die without using our precious hospital resources.)

I'm very very very very very very sian. I don't care about restrictions on dining out, social gatherings, or visitors to malls and parks. Or traveling. I care about restrictions at parks, the outdoors and the gyms. I care about whether the dog is allowed to go to school. This is more than 'pandemic fatigue'. I'm also seething from 'pandemic rage'. This is hard to control. I honestly don't dare to be around people who don't know me well. Very few people have seen this side of me — in a total loss of control, and in the full glory of blind rage. This is a rage I've controlled all my life with physical means — through judo, boxing, competitive sports, MMA, HIIT and now, krav maga. 

Gyms have to close again. No HIIT indoors at the gym for a month. I'm not okay with that. I can take HIIT outdoors, but it's not the same. When government restrictions take away my means of channeling that rage again and again, I find it hard to remain positive. (Yes, yes, privilege checked.) I don't know what to do. I can't run it out, or swim it out. Pilates and gyrotonic classes train my mind and force me to find an even rhythm that even the purported meditative benefits of yoga can never provide. But it doesn't diminish that spark or that rage building. Nope, I can't talk it out. Talking makes me angrier. LOL I need to physically hit or throw something. Yesterday afternoon, I had gone to punch a sandbag, and immediately felt better. My krav maga instructor is like, "Stop attacking me! Defend!" Our classes can continue with a mask, but...... Maybe I'll go climb a wall.