One of the elderly on my roster has passed away peacefully. She has no children of her own. Neither did she adopt nor acknowledge any. She has friends, but no close ones. As far as she remembered then, she does not have any known siblings or kin in Singapore anymore. She has been on my roster for almost 5 years.
Two years ago, she was depressed as thoughts of mortality ravaged her mind. I remember our conversations about death and how she would like her funeral to be. An atheist, she wanted a simple cremation. At a birthday lunch the year before, she wept in my arms when I promised her I would get her a niche at Mandai Columbarium. I also promised that she would not be forgotten. We then spent a happy afternoon selecting the photo to be placed on the niche.
The day she passed away, I fulfilled some of my promises to her. Rather mechanically, I returned to her spartan rental flat to settle the after-death administrative details. That was when I realized she specifically left me her worldly possessions. All of it.
A gold chain and pendant, 2 gold rings, vintage pre-war cosmetics posters and S$279.23.
I am moved beyond words. That was when I allowed the tears to flow.
Two years ago, she was depressed as thoughts of mortality ravaged her mind. I remember our conversations about death and how she would like her funeral to be. An atheist, she wanted a simple cremation. At a birthday lunch the year before, she wept in my arms when I promised her I would get her a niche at Mandai Columbarium. I also promised that she would not be forgotten. We then spent a happy afternoon selecting the photo to be placed on the niche.
The day she passed away, I fulfilled some of my promises to her. Rather mechanically, I returned to her spartan rental flat to settle the after-death administrative details. That was when I realized she specifically left me her worldly possessions. All of it.
A gold chain and pendant, 2 gold rings, vintage pre-war cosmetics posters and S$279.23.
I am moved beyond words. That was when I allowed the tears to flow.
22 comments:
*hugs* you're very sweet ger...I'm sure she's well taken care of in the arms of God..God bless her and yourself :)
You have touched a life my dear.
we all have our limits to what we want to do and what we don't.
but there're always a couple of special oldies we have a soft spot for.
she's yours. and so are you to her. :) this is what we do babe. that's the thing that make us smile.
that's one thing i really like about you, imp. you are blessed in a lot of ways and you let these overflow into the lives of others.
God bless you :)
you'll get more along the way. as did the rest of us.
and they send a message to remind us to keep doing what we're doing.
My condolences to you for her passing. You must have meant a lot to her for her to have left you what little she had. Godd Bless you, dear.
Sometimes it's easy to forget that a little love goes a long way, and that in learning to touch someone, sometimes we reach in to touch a part of ourselves that has all but atrophied too.
The heart.
At least you were ard for her when she was still alive. *hugs*
2 years ago, she was depressed as thoughts of mortality ravaged her mind.
Hmmm...I'm more interested to know how she found courage & gracefully coped with the thought of death.
What's impt is you did something for her and gave her care when she was alive. I'm sure she appreciated that.
kairinu + corsage + cantonpixie: :)
natasha + neophyte + yellow: i was expecting no will, nothing and i'll just settle her stuff. it's kinda like a 'wake-up' call, sort of. but it's exactly the kind of thing i want to discourage newbie volunteers frm expecting.
johnny malkavian + dr: you're right. it's like a reminder really.
anonX: it turned out that she was just depressed, not abt death per se, but abt being forgotten after death. to her, it seemed as though no one will remember her passage through this earth. once she knew i made arrangements, she was happier and not afraid anymore. she just didn't want the pain of illness.
lms: maybe...but i'm truly touched that she gave me all her meagre possessions. it was quite a shock to me.
so sad to hear that... you've made a difference in her life.
*hugs*
I'm sure you've given her much comfort which she really needed this final stretch of her life. :)
*sniffs* u're so nice dearie.. i'm really touched beyond words.. *huggies*
What you did was everything to her. *hugs*
i know she will not be forgotten. God bless...
God has a purpose for everyone in His time :)
You have indeed blessed her life with that purpose.
God bless! ^.^
Hope you're doing okay too.
You are very kind..! I'm sure .. you've touched her .. beyond words.
To get this close to the dying..you were the closest human being to her. Wow.
Apart from the love you obviously showed her, you gave her dignity, in life and in death.
It is truly a blessing to know someone like you.
fuchsiacow + bmuse: i guess i did fulfil the promise of not forgetting her. :)
cherie + sinlady + kuro: thanks. i hope she felt a little cheered too. she was very chirpy the couple of days before she passed on.
shutterbug: :) there're plenty of govt aid available. but not every oldie knows how to utilize it.
dawn: i'm alright lah. quite used to oldies dying and settling stuff. quite immune except for a twitch sometimes. BUT it is the first time my 'charges' left me something. still a little shocked.
carrie: not really lah. it's just oldies usually die alone. that's sad. and i just want some (at least those on my roster) to feel that they can depend on me to settle their after-death stuff. to have someone to settle is very impt to them somehow.
mamabok + belinda: you speak too kindly of me. i only wanted to let her know that she could depend on me for admin stuff... i can't quite handle emotional. but she does need someone to read govt letters, CPF top-ups and those stuff.
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