You're Just A Despicable Fool

I had a group of visitors in town. I was rather chummy with the Middle Eastern ladies and the Eastern European leggy beauties. Naturally, I kept a polite distance from the men, as work etiquette required. But, there was this particular Vietnamese visitor that was a little more than annoying.

"The Vietnamese love to take photos with you!" The colleagues warned. Alright. Whatever. I dislike having my photo captured in anything besides my own camera. But to be nice, I don't mind a couple of friendly work photos. But this Vietnamese chap, was just happily snapping away with his camera-phone and digital camera at every opportunity. It was frankly, irritating. He had no qualms about intruding my privacy.

Never mind that he wanted to put one arm around my shoulder in a 'couple shot'. But he had the cheek to try drawing me closer into a hug. I had to step away firmly, say no and maintain arm's length. He had bad teeth and terrible breath. And mind you, his teeth were uneven, badly stained brown / black and maybe decaying. All throughout his stay, he would dangle smartass remarks at me, tried to touch my shoulder and my arm every time he wanted to about nothing in particular.

"You're not coming back to the hotel with us, with me?";
"I'm glad you're coming to sit with us."

I regretted the time I borrowed his pen and he replied, "You can borrow anything long you want." I actually smiled and answered, "Well, no thank you. I can live without your pen." Then I strode away in disgust. I might have written off the insinuations to his bad command of English. Save for the suggestive glint in his eyes and his leery smile.

What pissed me off completely was what he did when I sent these visitors off on their last day here. I gave a firm handshake to the men and wished them well. The women, I bonded with, so it was lots of oohing and ahing with air kisses on the cheek and a hug. This Vietnamese lout, actually came running back, saying "bye bye bye", grabbed my hand and tried to pull me close for that same air kiss and hug.

What the fuck? I'm fairly certain that your Vietnamese culture didn't teach you that!

I resisted all impulse to pull a deashi harai on him. He was a small man and completely wimpy. So I grasped his hand really really hard, squashed his knuckles together, made sure that would hurt and shoved him back. He actually stumbled a step backwards. That was rather comical. It amused me greatly. I looked at him straight in the eye, raised my voice and spat my disdain, "I don't do this with men. Many cultures consider this an insult. You disgrace your country."

What I was really thinking was something that only the crudest of Hokkien could express, "KNN, your mother never bring you up properly ah? You still in high school ah? #)(%*)#(%$^(*)^ male testosterones in overdrive izzit? Wait till someone does this to your sister or your girlfriend. #)%(*#)(%*tard!"

If you were not a work visitor, I'd have kicked you in the balls (not that I haven't done it before) and hauled your ass to the courts for sexual harassment. Boor.

I've lived in Ho Chi Minh City and I love it. I've met large numbers of Vietnamese and rarely do they behave the way this yob did. This and plus what his compatriot did, I'm fairly sure I'm not too hot about visiting Hanoi anytime soon. For that matter, currently, I'm not taking very kindly to group photos, couple photos and whatthefuck else photos.