This KL getaway is one trip that I initiated. So I decided that it will be my treat to the man. i.e. I pick up the tab for everything. I haven't had the chance to pick up the tab for any of our vacations so far.
But aside from the air-tickets, the man's been beating me to the bills, including my shopping. He's refusing payment from me. Arrrgh.
Some say that it's a good thing.
Yes, it is, if I'm not earning a salary or any sort of income from interest. I have a job and a salary. So I want to make my contribution too.
I feel that I'm not pulling my weight. :(
Many times, spending my salary on the man makes me happy too. It's like, he buys me bags and jewelry; I'll return the favor with a watch or a guitar (if it's not deathly expensive!). Or an evening out with a good dinner and music.
My dad has taught me well. I can't bring myself to depend on the man (or any man for that matter) for total financial security. That's just bad financial planning. I'm grateful that my financial independence has helped me weather major storms unscathed.
No matter. When I get home, there's the AXS machine at which I can secretly make payment to his credit card.
16 comments:
well, at least u know how to transfer funds to your man's account. My bf puts high priority to his privacy. I do not know passwords to his bank accounts or even account number (so forget the idea of knowing the password of his email account too).
I like the way you phrase things...spending and reciprocate should be a two way thing when both parties has monthly income.
Sigh...I wonder when I can have access to all these. :-(
iceaster: i just need to know his credit card numbers. i will know that coz we use it online so often. he knows at least one of mine and i know one of his. i'll just manually input into axs machine. easy peasy. of course will need one of his bank a/c numbers for internet transfer of funds for daily errands too. that's no biggie. we know our friends' a/cs too.
but babe, i do not want to know his passwords to anything at all. especially not passwords to email a/cs or anything like that. NO NO NO. we both need our privacy. i do not need to know ALL his bank accounts as well. not necessary.
really. it's no big deal. you'll just have to trust your man. not knowing doesn't mean anything.
it's like, i don't 'check' his phone either.
it'll become a very churlish relationship then.
Oops! then i made the biggest blunder .
i guess we are all the same, although our partner like to spend on us, but we know that we too have the ability to earn money, and we too have the ability to pay for things that we want, and also for things that he wants, it is a two way traffic, of showing love and appreciation.
but, your man really treats u very very good! cherish and enjoy! =p
muffingirl: i'd think you'll squirrel away private savings! or your man would have made provisions for you so that u feel secure! you must! the friends i have who chose the sahm route made very sure they have a private income stream for themselves too. i had a really bad experience that made me see the light of my dad's advice. if i didn't listen to him, i think i'd be in a very bad place right now. :) i'm very anal about finances. heh.
elaine: that too! for me, i need the security of knowing that finances don't complicate our relationship. with or without him, my lifestyle and standard of living wouldn't suffer.
Thanks for the sharing, everyone. I guess I get the meaning behind all these. :-)
GOOD thing! always a GOOD thing!
but it's also good to be financially independent!
Wah! Looks like I need another man! Boohoohoo
I'm like you, or even more stubborn. my man offered to pay for our recent trip, but my first reaction was a big NO. all my friends said i was being stupid, but i would like to pay for my own expenses as long as i can afford it.
please convey my regret to the darling man, for all the expenses incurred because of the travelling up to attend my reception. You were the first person my eyes was focused on when I walked down that red carpet... You were smiling soooooo brightly, waving at me! :) :) :)
wigglybits: totally! then i have bargaining power in the relationship. muahahahha. then i can rightfully expect my man to be completely debt-free and be able to handle his finances too!
suziewong: NO! you need YOURSELF! you're doing great girl! am so thrilled for you!
kikare: aye to that spirit! he'll love you more for it sometimes.
jomel: now, don't say silly things like that. we travelled because we wanted to and imptly, our scheduled permitted us to be there. time was the main factor. expenses are negligible. not an issue at all. what are expenses compared to feeling the love on that terrace?!!!
I like having the financial independence (or freedom? Hehe) too.
And I tend to see that at the end of the day, its our pool of money, regardless his or mine. But just kept in different accounts :)
lms: heh. you're more generous than i am. i stick to the 'my money is mine and his is his' concept. i prefer not having joint finances in a way. :)
Becoming financially independent. Isn't that a great goal.
Totally agree that financial independence lets you view the relationship more clearly. But it's sweet of him to want to pay. :)
at least you know what to get for your man. my man wants nothing!
mark nelson: it is. i like to have a job because i like it and not because i have to. :)
wildgoose: definitely. i appreciate his thoughts! i'm sure your man will appreciate the little details you do for him.
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