There will be people from our past we don't wish to see in our current happy lives.
Still, ghosts whizz by at times. I'll just have to handle them as they come. What goes around, comes around. I've got too many ghosts haunting me to be openly perched on facebook!
On a stroll through a mall one evening, for some strange reason, my skin prickled and I had this heightened sense of awareness. In the next 5 seconds, I turned my line of sight to the right and I saw her- the man's ex-girlfriend and her husband.
She flashed a dazzling smile at the man trailing behind. And obviously I bristled. But I did not glare. I masked all emotions, simply stared through her and looked away. So did the friends who were with us. But I lost all appetite for the dinner that we were going to have. 哎哟。真的是白天不能说人，晚上不能讲鬼。I was just bitching about her the night before.
It's a long story. But in a nutshell, I don't like running into her. I go out of my way to avoid her in various social circles. Maybe she's just civil. But I'm not at all comfortable with her trying to maintain a semblance of friendship with the man. You see, the man is currently still useful to her. She refuses to cease all contact just because I don't like it.
I don't keep in touch with any of my ex-es. I don't want them anywhere in my life. I certainly do not want the man keeping in touch with this particular ex of his. But I have no right to insist that he treat her as persona non grata. He's kinda nice. He doesn't delete anyone and pretend they don't exist.
I view this ex as a vile potion to our relationship. She brings out the darkest feelings in me. In fact, I think she's the only flashpoint that makes me go deep into vengeful mode. Can't throw a tantrum. So I'll just have to deal with it. Because if I can't deal, I'll be the poison to my own relationship. Not to mention it'd be terribly obtuse to let one bitch spoil my day. Maybe I should run into her more often to get the hang of it.
呸。
15 comments:
got people like her with very thick skin lor. we all deal with such the best we can, ok?
eh. the story really very long lah. ignore her. that's the best. is she threatening your interests? if she's not, don't bother. but if the man is intruding upon couple time to do things for her, then it's a flashpoint. be reasonable, imp.
I understand and I relate to you wholeheartedly.
a woman make clean cuts with her past; a man keeps all threads unless the woman take the initiative. that is one big difference between the sexes.
and those who cling on to their ex-es: pathetic.
I can totally understand and relate. Good for you that you managed to mask all emotions AND to have the friends on your side. But yes, be strong and don't allow this to poison your relationship.
I've also thought about whether running into flashpoints like that more often would make things easier. I think it would eventually be something we get used to, and with that the sting lessens.
if u don't swallow this for now and retaliate, ur man's going to think u're being rude and tyrannical. that's not a situation u want. being gracious is the way to go.
That's why I always insist on wearing all my jewelry and make up even though I'm just going to the supermarket lah. You never know who you'll run into. I once ran into an ex's mother at the wet market and I looked like a wreck. She went home and told her son that I must be taking the breakup really hard. He actually called me to find out what happened. Hahahaha...
i know what you're talking about! Seriously 冤家路窄 lor, the more I don't want to see/bump/hear/meet this certain person, she's bound to haunt me even in the least likeliest scenarios. =__________=
I understand and must really said that you did a very good job at masking all your emotions and the fact that u got the friends all staying at your side.
I agee with wat meteor said...don't let the man intrude upen couple time to do things for her. If that happens, it is time for you to make a stand.
Hope that the man can feel that you are not happy about it and will try his best to minimise the chances of such event from happening again in the future.
i totally heart u... *hug* u're NOT ALONE. if i tell u how crazy i can be sometimes u will think that u're not so bad.
Look on the bright side, u are so loved... we're on ur side!
sinlady: words of wisdom!!! thanks!
meteor + queenie + iceaster: that true.
jomel + lovexlb: Yay. :) hugs indeed. many times, when i say it out, i don't feel so psychotic anymore!
kikare: you're so right on that point.
corsage: haizz. before that, it's like i'd be running through the scenarios in my head and deciding on which one to adopt. and when that scenario happens, i can be so cool!!! heeee. i wish.
diva: oh no~! she can spin such a good story! i must learn. note to self: wear pretty stuff ALL THE TIME! and ESPECIALLY at the supermarket!
shuhuiii: yah lor. and totally applicable to a different situation too. it's just that feeling of you know...? ghosts.
hmmm...pesky exes. what good is her hubby for then? nope. don't answer that :)
need translation for the Mandarin bit! gah!!! shoulda paid attention in school last time lorss
i fully understand your feeling, but i tried in a good way that i smile, but the b*tch just gave me a stern look back! sh*T!
just don bother bout them and be grateful that The Man loves u and is with u . =p
hugs!
You got your man, she didn't.
Gotta play it smart, girl, there are many ways to plant seeds.
geesmo: ehhehehe. the chinese bit ah? it kinda translates into "in the day, don't talk about people. in the night, don't mention about ghosts."
elaine: indeed! i must remember that!
kachunknorge: growl. why can't we do it the old fashioned way of punching people in the faces!
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