L'Chaim

Breaking wine glasses didn't seem appropriate. Neither the man or I are into wine. So we broke out the expensive crystal whisky glasses and stomped on them in a symbolic gesture.

The friends' texted, "We kept ours on for 2 days! Then we chucked it into the drawer for good! We can't even fit into the bands now. Do better than us!" I grinned. It's been a week. I'm still not used to the rings. The man, on the other hand, seems to have done better. He has no issues with wearing the band to jam sessions and to do whatever that is he does at the gym.

The weight of the platinum isn't just literal. It's also metaphoric of the gravity of the legally binding contract/s we've signed. However, the state of being married doesn't make me happier or delirious with joy. I feel normal. In fact, I'm still more than slightly annoyed at the mountain of legal paperwork we've to comb through.

Prior to the wedding day, I wasn't at all nervous or particularly thrilled. We picked the wedding date simply because it was the most convenient opening in both our calendars and especially because by chance, many of our good friends who don't live in Singapore are back for short stints this October.

People around us seem to be happier to have us married. For some reason, knowing we're married seems to make people comfortable. We don't really care. I think we prefer to forget that we are married. To us, the wedding day was simply an occasion to ink an agreement to become legal partners with allocated rights recognized under Singapore laws. The essence of our relationship should remain the same. There shouldn't be such a thing of being more deeply in love or anything like that. It is the relationship that needs to be nurtured and nothing else.

By no means, our definition of marriage conforms to the majority's definition of marriage. In fact, I resent labelling the man as 'my husband'. He's simply 'my partner'. And this is how I shall introduce him, either by that or by his name.

I'm glad the wedding has been done on my/our terms and conditions. That made it perfect. However, the legal state of our relationship doesn't change a damn thing. We are still us. We're not going to preach to anyone about the wonders of marriage because we don't view it that way. The wonder is in the relationship and being in love; not justified by a single stupid piece of legislation that does nothing for our state of mind, but pisses me off in every detail in amending paperwork, forms and whathaveyous.

If these sort of posts interest you, click on the label/tag 'Ketubah'. You might find some fairly new content in there. However, comments for those new-old posts are closed. Comments are only enabled in this current post.