I sent out an email to the friends to tell them what I'd like for Christmas.
I'd like a present in the form of their donation to registered charities in Singapore, Oxfam, Red Cross, etc. Or pick up volunteer work, do a charity run/marathon. Or simply stop eating sharks' fin. (Yes. It still pains me to attend wedding dinners of close friends that serve sharks' fin on the menu. I try not to, nowadays, citing work trips or vacations as an excuse.) The options are numerous and endless.
While many friends still dump presents on me, these friends are special in the sense that they're really close to me. They know how to pick the right presents and they're already very socially conscious, integrating volunteer and charity work into their daily lives. Those gifts, I gladly accept. I'm sorry if I sound ungrateful, but most of the time, the gifts don't suit my tastes nor needs. It's a complete waste. I end up recyling 80% of the presents I receive to the Salvation Army. (OEH- I don't recycle chak-chak presents to other people okay!)
I've never hidden my disdain for receiving ang pows for any sort of festivals, events or reasons. And I truly mean any sort of reason. If I ever stupidly coerce myself into marriage and a wedding dinner, I will still refuse to accept ang pows from guests. This is a meal I can well afford. I'll be damned if I make my guests pay for their meal which might not be tasty due to mass production. I have enough money of my own, don't need yours, thankyouverymuch. This is also the main reason for my distaste of Chinese wedding dinners. Very mercenary.
The going gets dicey when relatives insist on giving, get all smug and think you owe them a favor. Or when children get married, elders give them angpows because the parents of the bridal couple had reciprocated. It's a vicious cycle. No wonder I refuse to have anything to do with my relatives. I really need to educate the man's relatives in not giving me ang pows for any occasion. The past couple of Chinese New Years, those money in the ang pows went straight to charity and my side projects.
Southeast Asia has increasingly suffered natural disasters one after the other. So has the world. Singapore has been spared so far. We ought to count our blessings often and do our bit for the less fortunate more frequently.
Some friends are really lovely people. Nice and plodding through lives steadily. But there isn't an ounce of concerted effort to do charity work. I'd love my friends to be more socially aware, and environmentally responsible. That will be my best gift ever.
Addendum: Some of the friends have replied and it warms my heart totally to read about what they're doing. It's not about justifying their charity efforts. But it's lovely to be receiving gifts that truly warm my heart.
12 comments:
imp, i feed beggars in the street, and old old folks, also in the streets. you just need to know where to find them. when i am richer, i will do more. now i cannot quite look after myself, so my giving is little. but i know what you'll say, do what you can. and i like your heart for that. my hero(ine)!!
er.. not all beggars, i better explain. don't mean to encourage the young ones.
i help those who visibly cannot quite make it, for some reason or other. have often called the police for help too. to check on them.
tuti - I'm not sure the police might be of much help. They might just round up the homeless as vagrants and send them to a home. The 'destitute' homes don't sound very good either - they can't go out, they can only have visitors once a week, and they are limited to I believe, two suitcases of stuff.
I feel the same way u do about xmas presents. Unfortunately, the frens don't get it and still gives me presents. :( But I think I'll shop for their presents at the upcoming Red Cross Bazaar.
hi dawn,
ya, i know. :(
and some of these destitutes run away from the homes because they prefer the freedom in the streets. it's a no-win for them either way.
i call the police only when i see those who look totally lost or sick. have picked up a few ah-mahs that way. sigh. very sad.
some 'ah-kongs', well, those who are mobile, i give them coffee money. i saw one staring hard at the prices of bread at a 711 store, choosing between this and that, and finally leaving without any. i traced him to the kopitiam where he bought coffee and was scolded by the stall owner, for some reason or other. anyway to make a long story short (sorry imp, i am taking so much space), i trailed him and gave him some cash. he couldn't even make out the amount, had to tell him.
there are so many of these destitutes all over, and especially in some areas.
wildgoose: keep telling them! eventually they'll get it!
tuti: i know. pple keep saying that there're no slums and beggars in singapore. but there are. but don't call the police. it doesn't help. don't give them too much cash. just enough for 3 meals will do. but there're too many for you to help in this way and i'm afraid you will end up feeling even more despondent. call lions befrienders and let them know what these areas are and they will try to do something. but if the pple refused to be helped, then it's not something i'll pursue either.
dawn: i've a big problem with those homes. but it's the same across the world. destitute homes are really just that. YUCKS. i can see why the residents rather run away and escape.
wow... first time i read about ppl complaining about having presents dumped at them... !!
very noble of you about the charity bit and ... psst... when you have your wedding dinner... invite me! :P
zewt: CONFIRM- if you like pasta and ang moh style. coz i is no like chinese wedding dinner style.
Yes - I have to echo what Imp said about not giving cash. It's really nice what you're doing tuti - but as Imp also said, you're likely to end up disheartened and just drained. A woman I used to give money to would literally just lose it - in the end I found buying groceries for her was a better idea.
Also yes, Lion's Befrienders does great work - as do groups like Sunlove Home (which delivers hot meals to people who live on their own). Or you can even call a family service centre and offer to help them with any needs they might have for people under their care. They often have cases that may not qualify for 'official' funds but are still needed nonetheless.
dear imp and dawn, noted! :)
i copied those places you both mentioned. thanks.
Actually, I would love the same what you want for Christmas, but you've already sent me a present! Hor!! :D
tuti: good luck with it!
jomel: it can be arranged! :)
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