I Feel Bad Over This

I'm upset.

After a long day of mind-boggling negotiations, my visitors were going to grab a taxi back to their hotel. Seeing that it was close to 5 pm (witching hour in Singapore when taxis disappear), it wouldn't be easy to have cabs come into the lobby porch. I thought I would just walk out to the main road to get cabs to turn in so that whoever waiting at the lobby could sort out the queue numbers and whatever.

There was a woman standing at the side. She could be waiting for a cab but she was on the phone. In my zonked state, I didn't think to walk over to let her know that the first cab that turned in would be hers if she was waiting for a cab and not a husband or some other pick-up. That was my giant mistake.

After minutes of waiting, I finally got a cab to turn into the driveway. The woman was in a fine fury, striding out to stop the cab mid-turn. She looked very annoyed. Obviously. "How can you people do this?" She got into the cab and left.

Sigh. I knew it. The situation appeared that way and of course she perceived it so. It was in the middle of the driveway, I wasn't about to argue or provide an explanation. So I gritted my teeth and replied "Sorry about that."

I'm upset that my actions upset her because when I spotted her earlier, I didn't listen to a small voice within. If she's pissed enough to send in a complaint (not that she can identify me), I'll just apologize, explain I didn't see her and plead ignorance. My instinct is NOT to apologize. If this is in a personal capacity, I die die also WON'T. However, apologizing is easier than refusing to and then try to justify intentions. I'm very clear that this isn't about defending my actions, it's about not diluting the image of my organization, and that is of paramount importance over personal principles. Sometimes.

I'm tired. I should leave the office soon. I want to go to Hermès and Cartier, and buy 2 SOMEthingS, then go box the sandbag (not the man, I do mean the real sandbag).