Sunset Over Victoria Harbor

There was dinner fixed for my last night in Hong Kong. The afternoon was free for a massage and facial. There more than enough time to take a hot shower and change before heading out. But I was late because I wanted to stay in the room a little longer to catch the last sunset in the city. The skies were surprisingly clear and cooperative for the hour.

I hugged my new bear and perched by the window. The new bear hadn't learnt how to babble yet and was the perfect companion compared to the other naughty ones. I was just a tad pensive. There were thoughts swirling in my mind, about friendship, about trust, integrity, chemistry and laughter. I wasn't going to analyze these thoughts or sink down. I let them swirl beneath the mind while I watched the boats sail. It was a picture of serenity. I like to do my thinking this way. Somehow, my subconscious mind will work very hard to sort out those thoughts and when I return to the depths for a conclusion or some sort of decision, it's easily done.

Alright then, I've plenty days of leave left and no more time to take any more vacations between now till end of the year. Work calls. Is it depressing? Not really. Quite exciting. The fun part is how to pull it off and complete all the projects. Work stress is painful, but it doesn't get me down. I like it. It's all the other things that can be annoying- like people dynamics, no access to Skype while on overseas work trips with the office laptop and, especially this one extra-curricular activity that I've been drafted for.

The feelings of resentment are reaching this tipping point where it induces serious contemplation of resigning from the industry (again) to avoid these responsibilities that have been rudely thrust upon me without seeking my permission or care a hoot about my opinions. I've fulfilled my obligations to a very good boss. I'm free to leave from this juncture. My love for what I do isn't enough to absorb all the rest of the bullshit. My completed letter of resignation is sitting quietly in at home, waiting for the day the decision is finally made. The other option would be to drop dead. It's not even funny anymore.

Well, it's wonderful to have taken a good break with the man and short getaways with the girlfriends. Such relief that I got to do all that I wanted to do on these trips without pissing too many people off. They remind me about the positives in life and encourage me to try to look beyond my resentment for this one thing that hey, thousands of other people have to do. It's like National Service you know. They understand why I'm so affected and resentful about it. But they hope I can rise above the bureaucratic crap. I'm not sure. Everything I've actively sought out and experienced so far has only emphasized on another side of life that I can choose to embrace.