Sh*tsville UK

"Look ye upon the works of the last great British philosopher."

Written under the fake author of Monty Cantsin, 'Shitsville UK' takes a dig at British towns with some of the best insults around. While a hoot, it's certainly not for the fainthearted or super patriotic. I flipped through it in a Seattle bookshop and couldn't help LOL. The dude next to me glanced at the book, grinned and gave it a thumbs up. Hardcover and heavy, it was bought and packed into the suitcase.  (Reviews here and here.)

'Shitsville UK' begins with a hilarious disclaimer right on the page where details of year of print and its publishing firm are stated. It ought to be quoted,

And Now for a Brief Disclaimer: After long and sporadically violent contretemps with our legal team over brandy at the club we eventually conceded that it would be expedient to start the book with a legal disclaimer. Any passing resemblance that any of the text bears to reality is merely unhappy accident. We do not now nor have we ever worked for the North Korean government. It is not our intention to demoralise the good people of goodly Britain in order to pave the way for invasion by foreign powers. Nor do we seek to tarnish the reputation of any individual, no matter how grasping, immoral, egotistical or psychopathic their behaviour might be. For are we not all together, quite literally, figuratively and prosaically in this self same boat cut adrift from mainland Europe by cold and choppy waters and most likely destined to sink beneath the waves as the sea levels inexorably rise? If we fairies have offended, think but this and all is mended...we were pissed when we came up with the idea and nobody stopped us going through with it, so in a way it is your fault.

It goes through the towns alphabetically, beginning with Aberdeen to Lancaster, Newcastle, Westminster, and finally York. It's rude, irreverent, insulting and ridiculously funny. Editing could be tighter; it sports a few typos, of which one is in the last paragraph of Bath. Still, I was left rolling on the couch in stitches. Much of the family live in England or are regular visitors. Childhood memories of listening to the adults describe English towns float to mind. Alongside, are my kiddish and adult impressions of various towns as well. The book's a total hoot. A few favorites here.

Beverley

Beverley was founded by one of the first Christian bishops in England, whose intention was to make the place an exact replica of purgatory. This he achieved by listening to 'folk music' until he had a good idea of what purgatory felt like.

Larne

Larne is one of the main reasons that the Irish traditionally sing very sad songs. 

Norwich

The only thing about Norwich I never could stand - all the damn witches. But seriously, there are No Witches in Norwich. It's a sad fact that they were all arrested and burned alive on Chapelfield Road several years ago.

Tamworth 

Who ate all the pies? Tamworth did. 

Winchester 

FACT: Winchester has nothing to do with rifles.