I looked at the date and blinked. Wow. This is our ninth year of marriage. Time has simply flown by. To be honest, if you ask me, it has been all good times. There has to be more than love. I've always thought of marriage as a partnership. A sync of mindset and values. The man and I do not share a religion. I have mine, and he's mostly eschewed being Jewish (our country's stupid race classification system) or Christian, and leans towards agnosticism (that's not atheism). Our partnership seems to work well. Checks and balances.
I don't rely on the man more than I rely on my closest friends. He won't be able to breathe! I'm sorry to burst the bubble, but he isn't 'my best friend, my rock and my everything'. He's certainly trustworthy and dependable, and he gives excellent counsel. My dearest friends do too. But I do not expect more of him than I expect of my friends. There has never been a question of how I'd feel if the man is out of my life. I would miss him, but I would do just fine alone. It's fun to have him around, and I appreciate him the same way as I do of the faeriefolk.
I've always told him that when he weighs significant matters in this life, please take into consideration my opinions, but do not place me as a permanent priority. Priorities shift with the seasons of life, and I understand desires and wants, and those should sometimes take precedence over 'we'. Never make decisions 'for me' if there's any thought that I am holding him back. Make decisions for himself and the greater good, because I'd do the same. Underlining this process would be deep respect for each other as life partners, against the backdrop of pragmatism.
The man and I are cognizant of all that we have been blessed with. We've also got an incredibly tight circle of good friends. By God's grace, for as long as we are able, we will live our passions and serve our communities. For these, I give thanks. The word 'husband' isn't just a word. It's also a concept, and I'm not sure that I embrace the traditional or Catholic definition of it, i.e matrimony or sacrament. Hence after nine years, I still refer to the man by name, or just 'partner'. And this partner whom I'm in love with, still makes me smile.
I don't rely on the man more than I rely on my closest friends. He won't be able to breathe! I'm sorry to burst the bubble, but he isn't 'my best friend, my rock and my everything'. He's certainly trustworthy and dependable, and he gives excellent counsel. My dearest friends do too. But I do not expect more of him than I expect of my friends. There has never been a question of how I'd feel if the man is out of my life. I would miss him, but I would do just fine alone. It's fun to have him around, and I appreciate him the same way as I do of the faeriefolk.
I've always told him that when he weighs significant matters in this life, please take into consideration my opinions, but do not place me as a permanent priority. Priorities shift with the seasons of life, and I understand desires and wants, and those should sometimes take precedence over 'we'. Never make decisions 'for me' if there's any thought that I am holding him back. Make decisions for himself and the greater good, because I'd do the same. Underlining this process would be deep respect for each other as life partners, against the backdrop of pragmatism.
The man and I are cognizant of all that we have been blessed with. We've also got an incredibly tight circle of good friends. By God's grace, for as long as we are able, we will live our passions and serve our communities. For these, I give thanks. The word 'husband' isn't just a word. It's also a concept, and I'm not sure that I embrace the traditional or Catholic definition of it, i.e matrimony or sacrament. Hence after nine years, I still refer to the man by name, or just 'partner'. And this partner whom I'm in love with, still makes me smile.
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