The Dog's Not Training Us

No prizes for guessing the reading content I've devoured these two weeks. A lot to do with dog training, and then chatting with a few friends who are certified dog trainers to get their opinions, and decide on the best options for Choya. She's not a puppy. She's a wary young adult female. I need her full trust before I could even begin training in earnest. I'm not going to train her to do tricks. I just need her to unquestioningly obey her basic commands. When it doesn't suit her, 'sit' is problematic. 'Stay' seems easier. LOL 'Come' is completely dependent on what the reward is. 😂

She has settled into our home faster than we expected. The man has eagerly welcomed her, but I'm more reserved. After all, I'm the Chief Cleaning Officer at home. Picking up dog poop daily also tends to be fairly humbling. I've been threatening to send her away every other day. Well, Choya is the man's dog, not mine. 😑

This short comment 'Dog Owner Training 101' written by Susanna Wolff published in The New Yorker back in 2014 is hilarious. I guess you could call it satire, whatever. But I hardly think anyone else would have the chance to be snarky because I wouldn't be having an extended conversation with a fellow pet owner unless we happen to run into each other on walks. Choya can be taught to tolerate another dog's presence and be somewhat polite. Even so, she dictates who she wants to play with—and that's not many other dogs.

Luckily for me, I'm pretty similar to Choya- we don't crave for much company or friendliness. We're not particularly sociable but, yes, I'm talking about the dog still, I have to socialize the dog to keep her aggression in check. Hahahaha. I have to be vigilant in structuring play-time (with dogs she can't terrorize) for her.

In order to be the best dog owner you can show other people you can be, you must embrace the cardinal rule of holier-than-thou puppy parenting: make all other dog owners feel inferior.  

Just as in business and personal relationships, the best way to raise your standing in the canine community is to make everyone else look like garbage. We’ll spend this first training class honing our judgmental stares and passive-aggressive questions before moving on to the more advanced lessons: writing negative Yelp reviews of dog salons and spending more money on your dog’s food than you spend on your own. 

Let’s begin. How many of you purchased your dog from a pet store? Oh. I see. You know that those dogs come from puppy mills, right? There are millions of dogs being sentenced to death because people like you insist on breeding new dogs for pet stores instead of adopting the beautiful creatures that already exist. I mean, I’m sure your dog is great, but I know I couldn’t live with myself thinking of the dog I could have saved instead. 

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During the next lap, I’d like you to make your first attempt at seemingly pleasant but actually very rude small talk. Your new life as a smug dog owner will involve lots of forced conversations with strangers, and it’s important that you never miss a chance to make these people feel terrible while they’re picking up another creature’s fecal matter at six-thirty in the morning.