Grinned when I read Amanda Petrusich's comment on 'The Decline of Yelling', published in the The New Yorker on July 31, 2019. The article began with reminding us about this clip of a state Republican Majority Leader, Jake Corman, and a cabal of his male supporters hollering at Democrat state senator from Montgomery County, Pennsylvania, Katie Muth because they believed she was thwarting the rules of order.
“Go to the vote like you’re supposed to!” he screamed. The volume and pitch of his voice, now shredded with rage, was terrifying. The dynamic of the exchange—his outsized enmity, her calmness in the face of a tantrum—seemed to encapsulate something troubling about gender relations in American politics. Muth held steady. Her composure earned her accolades: “Keep persisting,” Elizabeth Warren tweeted. Senator Muth “won’t be silenced from speaking truth,” Kamala Harris wrote.
Online, the many horrified reactions to the clip only crystallized how younger Americans appear to feel about yelling in general—namely, that it’s no longer a signifier of dominance, power, or authority but, instead, a mortifying and old-fashioned display of toxic masculinity. What was once associated with a degree of toughness or vigor, and perhaps suggested some hard-earned power—a boss might yell, or a military general—is now considered aggressive and domineering, an odious side effect of hubris and privilege. People who lose control and start screaming are received only with consternation and embarrassment. It is simply not something a serious person should do.
I'm a little amused. In this part of the world, and I'll be seriously generalizing here, men and women seem to yell equally much. It's less of a gender issue here than it's an issue of managing how one expresses anger. It also seems to be a normal volume of conversation for some people- shouting like they're fighting, but they're really just having a super loud conversation. It all depends on what the triggers are. Have you seen the videos and stories coming out of the Taiwanese politicians yelling and fighting in parliament, and of them shouting while campaigning?
Nothing tickles me more to piss somebody off, when I have every right to do so, and when I unintentionally push their buttons by pointing out salient facts. It's especially satisfying to do it to inconsiderate people in public, who usually react brashly and defensively when told not to do said thoughtless act they're indulging in. "To redden and blow is to lose one’s grip on reality—the act of yelling is either played for laughs or it’s indicative of some pathological fissure." I'm less confrontational now, but if I see something untoward, I won't let it go. I'd not shout at said person—I would do it quietly. But chances are, the other party would react in sudden anger. They're welcome to throw a punch at me, and that's when all else breaks loose. No shouting would be required then.
But yes, I do not like shouting at the work place, or even within a home. It's not so much of a gender or patriarchal thing for me. I've been shouted at by mainly WOMEN, not men. It's unproductive and scary. I've lost it so many times at the dog, and it took so much to curb that instinct to shout at her. I finally reigned it in to a damn loud "CHOYA! NO!" or "NO! NO! NO!" And that's as much shouting of syllables I will do to a dog. For a human, I can't even be bothered to shout unless well, said human is breaking into a house or doing something really strange in public.
Part of this change surely has to do with a broader shift away from behavior that reinforces abusive and overtly patriarchal structures: while there’s no empirical evidence to suggest that men actually yell any more than women, a man yelling is, almost without exception, a more physically and psychically threatening experience. And it feels reasonable to attribute another part of the change to a shift in generational temperament, facilitated, perhaps, by the rise of online culture—now there’s less need for anyone to raise his actual voice, because it is incredibly easy to be cruel, bullying, and disruptive via typing alone.
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