In a group chat with some acquaintances who happen to be all girls, they brought up a meet and a date, but the venue was pending. Then three of them made this suggestion that really triggered me. They typed out, "Let's do a girl dinner!" They weren't being sarcastic. They're thinking of wine and cheese and charcuterie. Not even mac n cheese.
WALAOEH. NO.
I veto-ed it, but for very social reasons, I couldn't be too rude. I replied, "I need actual carbs. I can do vegetarian but I need more than finger food. Happy to join in if venue and date work out." And I left it at that. I can do burgers but my stomach doesn't want anything greasy in the composition of the patty. Which is why I end up choosing Impossible meats each time and stick to Shake Shack's beef patty ratios.
For many reasons, wine and finger food of charcuterie and cheese sets off my IBS symptoms stat. Charcuterie, salami, sausages and cheese do not make a satisfying meal for me, in the same way that if you feed me pizza and wings and call it 'dinner'. I HATE THESE FOODS. FFS, at least give me bread and tasty salted butter. The last time a girlfriend fed me wine and cheese and crackers for dinner at home, I had to ask for cup noodles. I was hungry.
This TikTok 'Girl Dinner' fad is extremely annoying. Bird food? Seeds? Grass? Wine? Bubbly? What then comprise 'Boy Dinner' huh? Meats and bones and offal? Beer? Whisky? Can we be less Neanderthal about it? Good gawwd. Food is food. Not all girls eat bird seeds and not all boys eat red meat. Can I get some pasta, kway teow, udon/soba, rice, a ton of mashed potato, you know... not pizza but SOMETHING CARB-Y? I'm not bothered that it might not be healthy enough. People can make their own food choices. But yes, it's a trend and it does affect how people view food, and as it is, many people have a complicated and often an unhealthy relationship with food.
I'm more concerned of a gender label, and an assumption that it's also made okay by corporate co-opting when restaurants advertise their own 'Girl Dinner' menus. It's really condescending. You know what they say about 'women drivers'? Yeah, let's not perpetuate that stereotype maybe.
If this indicates girls have their own spending power, sure. But Girl Dinners ≠ Girl Power. And I'm also iffy about the terms 'Girl Boss' and 'Girl Power'.
The gendered aspect of the Girl Dinner was put into high relief when its spawn began emerging. Boy Dinner is a more protein-forward affair. There’s Husband Meal, which apparently consists of foods that would appall the wife were she home. And cold chicken nuggets the kids didn’t eat is a feature of Mom Dinner.
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Girl dinners have always existed; they are merely what we eat when we’re alone — whatever it is, however strange or un-sustaining. It’s what we eat, for whatever reason, whether it’s because we just … can’t. Or because we finally can — because, in Carrie Bradshaw’s words, “it just feels great.” But it seems that the desire to brand something, to “romanticize our lives,” is strong in the culture of social media. “People have been doing this as long as there have been cheese and crackers,” Miller says. “And before. I think the fun of it is that it’s silly.”
I say I cannot math. But it doesn't mean that I'm a girl and therefore I'm bad at Math. It simply means I do not care for academic excellence when I'm forced to study E, A, C and F Mathematics. But I can do a full budget spreadsheet for a corporate team, as well as an overall company budget. I can Excel very well. I might not have skills to audit those though. Haha. And I can most definitely math when I sort out my own stock portfolios on Stashaway and such.
I have no sense of humor when it comes to this. It's not even a lighthearted thing. Let's just stop with this 'Girl Dinner', 'Girl Math' (to justify spending on... I dunno, designer goods, etc), 'Girls Trip' and whatever the heck it is. It isn't self-deprecation. It isn't funny. It is a gender stereotype. IT IS NOT CUTE.
If we're talking about seminars of finance and legal viewpoints for women, social causes, business opportunities, and discussions, sure. 'Women in Tech'? 'Women Litgators'? Can! Let's do that, say the fireside chats hosted by various banks, law firms, and tech companies, as well as social charities, say for example, this one by Dentons Rodyk and their commitment to the Global Women's Sponsorship Program. Pick one (or two) that suits you and go with it. But this term/slang of 'Girlboss', imho, ought to be retired and not thrown around like it's so hip.
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