Countdown

On a chair I perched, part of an ops meeting for a key event next week, running through the logistics with the team, sitting back and listening to the briefing, noting my portions and picturing it in my mind. It would be fun. Serious fun.

Amidst the chatter, it felt a little surreal, as though I'm out of it already. I'm already seeing the ops meeting as half an outsider, rather than a full-fledged team member. My role is the easiest, with hardly any effort. The rest of the checklist requires a tight eye, quick thinking and close coordination.

We've worked together for years. I trust them without a doubt. They've got common sense. You know how rare a trait that is? When they run ops, total situational awareness. These are competent, valuable people that I will not hesitate to recommend to any good organization. And I rarely, if never, recommend anyone to anywhere, least of all my friends. It's just a principle I practise. If I believe in someone, I might just make a mention, that's all. I don't push.

I'll miss the team, all of them, so much, quirks, warts, hearts and love. Damn glad that I missed the year-end party. I didn't want to be part of that bullshit and play a hypocrite. I'll make my farewells privately. They left a farewell card on my table, and that was lovely enough. I haven't read it yet. It's sitting in the tray at home marked 'UNREAD'. I'm not going to read it till after . The last month at work is harder to cope with than I have envisioned. Such a different set of feelings from December. I'm damn happy to be leaving still, but sad to leave this group of awesome humans.

Last lap. Countdown. And I'm willing the clock to slow.