Fourteenth

Has it been 14 years of marriage for the man and I?  

It's hard work to keep any long-term relationship steady, and filled with love and laughter. It doesn't have to be one with a marriage contract. It's only easy when two minds are in sync, if your fundamental morals and principles and how you do things are complementary at the same point in your lives. That's not going to happen all your lives.

We didn't celebrate our wedding anniversary in a big way or in any way that might be deemed a celebration except on our terms. I didn't need flowers (that might be attempted murder. lol) or an eventful day of special activities. I wanted a simple easy ordinary day. I kinda got it. It's pretty private, isn't it, how we choose to mark a wedding anniversary? This year, we chose to have a few casual meals over the week with friends who don't know and weren't aware it's our anniversary since I remained silent on social media. 

In the night, things happened. I had settled in to watch a film. But before I could begin, my phone exploded with texts between 11pm to 1am with unpleasant news.

This time last year, I had plenty of dead bodies and old folks to sort out. This year, we've got a number of dogs to care for. It's really odd but on the same night, these floofs' pawrents had medical emergencies which required their presence and attention at the hospitals. This meant that for the next two or three days, their floofs need taking care of — minimally two walks a day and two feeds. Alrighty. Done. 

I had to shift some things around, but deadlines are deadlines; those are locked in. I had a quick think. I could just about manage the schedule and make space for these floofs. I would be the main caregiver and handler. The man was happy to support me. It was hectic. You know what? I'm fine with it. I wouldn't bend over backwards to do this, I would say no if I couldn't. But I could. So I did. I do not do things to make someone else happy. I do it if it's a reasonable request and not detrimental to my happiness. 

I really don't mind being of service to our friends. I can be rather emotionally distant, and if I can run errands or do things for friends, then that's one way of telling them that I care. We're all only getting older. If we can't count on the friends we have now (whom we can assume, it's for life), then who can we count on? We do many things on our own; we might prefer that. But occasionally we will need help. Often, people who are 'family', aren't the best choices for certain kinds of help we need or welcome. We'll always have the good times, all the parties. But who will be there when the bad times roll in? Who do we want to be here with us?