Khopchaideu Restaurant

I swear all locals recommend KhopChaiDeu Restaurant to tourists in Vientiane. Don't know why, but I ain't complaining. At least I'm out and not stuck with bad food at hotel buffets.

I love som tam or in Lao- tum mak hung (papaya salad). I love the tangy spiciness coupled with the fresh raw vegetables. They go perfectly well with white sticky rice too. The restaurant did a good one. While flavorful, it obviously catered to expat tastebuds because the dish wasn't spicy at all.

The colleagues went crazy and ordered so much food that the table overflowed. As skeptical as I was about the food in such a 'recommended' restaurant in an obviously expat locale, I must say that whatever we ordered from the Lao menu was pretty decent.

My stomach churned when I saw the pork knuckle. It was freaking huge. I tried a tiny piece. It was frankly, delicious. However, the texture and taste were more like a smoked ham than pork knuckle proper. The colleagues ate it all up.

Like in the various cities of CLMV countries, restaurant menus in expat locales are ridiculously cheap. Great value for your dollar. For all the food and drinks we had, it was just US$30 for 4 of us.

That Luang

This is the renowned national symbol of Lao PDR- the Great Stupa of That Luang.

Built in 1566 after the capital moved from Luang Prabang to Vientiane, That Luang is considered a symbol of independence and sovereignty. However, through the years, the temple has been sacked by ancient Siam and Haw invaders. The Great Stupa was restored to its glory in 1930, but not without French help and significant influences in its restoration and architecture.

The Buddhist Pha That Luang Festival is held during this period. Besides a trade fair going on in the day at the ITEEC, a market (pasar malam) springs up around the temple grounds that opens from 9am till midnight.

For the people of Vientiane, this is the major party of the year. It'd also do you a world of good to avoid Lao Lao- the local rice wine, which flows freely to revellers. I didn't manage to visit the place in the evening when it's most beautiful and vibrant. However, it's really disconcerting to hear techno music blare from the speakers at 10am!

I strolled by the colorful stalls. There were plenty of rather pretty tops, scarves, local handicrafts on sale. I didn't feel like trying on any clothes, haggling or buying anything. At 10am, the heat was already unbearable. Ugh. I just wanted to walk through the market to see the sights and sounds.

After being cooped up in the hotel and conference venue for 5 days, being out and about on the bustling grounds of That Luang made me feel alive somewhat.

Singapore's National Dress?

At each work trip, there would be a Closing Dinner to round off the week. Each time there would be a harmonious song and dance to represent the countries who are Singapore's neighbors and depict the region we live in.

Everytime I see those dance costumes, an identity crisis hits bad.

Singapore has no identifiable national dress. We're very much similar to our closest neighbours in terms of food, culture and language. No matter how I think Singapore is different, I'm rendered speechless at events like that when people ask me "So what is Singapore's national dress?" I haven't a bloody clue. A sharp well fitted suit? I think they take sadistic pleasure in watching me struggle to come up with a reply.

The orchid motif of Singpaore is like what batik is to Indonesia and Malaysia. We still haven't settled on a National Dress. Those people who were in such a hurry to invent the Merlion and cramped that myth that made a young imp believe it was real, should have had more foresight to invent a National Dress too.

I get bad flashbacks of the laughable national dresses worn by our Miss Singapore Universe on the world stage. Google for photos. Those, are definitely NOT our national dresses. Even though they might be crafted by local designers, I reject them flatly.

A cheongsam with an orchid motif could be a possible candidate for our National Dress. But it wouldn't be representative of Singapore. Since Peranakan culture is all the freaking rage currently on the little red dot (as though we don't have other races/ethnicity or culture), I lamely answered- "Singapore is too rojak lah. That's why for 44 years, we still cannot decide on one design for our national dress. We need 4 at least! For now, we'd have to make do with a sarong kebaya. Please see SIA stewardesses' uniforms for reference." Fake laughter ensued.

And I cringed in a corner for a long while after.

Beer Lao

There was a jaunt to the Lao Brewery Company to check out Beer Lao. We were interested to know just how much Carlsberg has invested in the company, human resources, premises and production.

I wasn't surprised that a visit to the company was on the itinerary. Of course we were a tad curious. In a landlocked country where per capita income is just US$765 in 2008, the company contributes a fair share to the growth of its economy. Beer Lao is a matter of national pride.

Besides a briefing, we were also taken on a very quick tour of the premises to understand more about its production and how the company contributed to the nation's economy. While the briefing was going on, I zoned out. There was only one thought in my mind. "Gimme a cold pint already!" I didn't voice that thought aloud. But someone else did and brought down the house with laughter.

I liked Beer Lao way better than our homegrown Tiger. It was just somehow better tasting. I made a beeline for the dark beer. It wasn't rich or too flavorful. It was just slightly thicker than the white. But lovely. The colleagues and I totally enjoyed the small little glasses of dark beer. Quite refreshing at the end of a long, hot day. We had 3 glasses each!

A Walk Through The Memorial Museum

I like visiting museums. They all tell a story. I'd give up shopping malls for a stroll through the museums. When a visit to the Kaysone Phomvihan Memorial Museum was listed on the itinerary, I decided to keep an open mind and go along. In that, I refused to read up on all literature about the museum since it opened in 2000.

As founding father of Lao PDR, Kaysone Phomvihan is accorded the greatest respect in the country. The US$8-million dollar museum (partially funded by Vietnam) reflects exactly that. Upon arrival, we were greeted by the 30 foot tall cast iron sculpture of the Great Leader. Accordingly, many in the delegation took photos in front of it.

Photography isn't allowed in the memorial musuem. I still snucked a few anyway. I took a photo of the mobile phones the Great Leader used! Those were huge Nokia water bottle phones and the Motorola StarTac. So retro!!! There was a clock he had used which displayed the time of his death.

I ignored the guide and the main delegation. I walked through the double storey museum on my own and completed the exhibits in 15 minutes. Never mind that the museum didn't have air-conditioning. It was dim and poorly ventilated. It was like a furnace inside. The hosts did arrange for some standing fans to move the air. But it was hot air. In the sizzling weather, I couldn't stand to be in there longer than necessary. It wasn't a comfortable experience.

For all the space available, the curator really hasn't done a good job of maximizing it. The content was severely lacking. It contained personal effects, photographs, newspaper cuttings. It felt like a place of worship. I didn't want to see this gigantic shrine dedicated to his honor. Then, there were random displays of products made in the country- beer, soft drinks, pharmaceuticals, washing powder, etc. I'm afraid that the writer was quite spot on in his initial observations about the contents of the museum. 9 years on, the curator still hasn't done any substantial or marked improvement.

However, what I want to visit, is the Great Leader's relatively humble one storey ranch- the house that he lived in before his death in 1992. From all accounts, everything has been kept in its original position- from the half empty Scotch bottles to clothes hanging in the wardrobe. I heard that it remains untouched till this day.

After the visit to the Memorial, of course I felt disappointed. :(

Skirts!

I've been checking out alot of butts! The myriad of colors on the Laotian girls have been extremely pleasing to the eye. The girls are either really slim, or curvy. They wear the skirts so well.

These traditional skirts are accepted work wear at formal functions. The skirts could either be topped by a cotton jacket for the day, a dressier version with a sheen for the evening, or simply silk.

I understand that women in Lao wear mostly skirts because of the heavy humidity. Pants are simply not practical because they stick to the legs. Eeeeeps. Jeans and pants are not exactly the best clothes to pack if you're travelling around ASEAN countries in summer heat and not going to be in air-conditioning often.

Maybe I should go browse the stalls at the Morning Market to see if I can get one or two for my ASEAN wardrobe. There is this portion termed 'ASEAN' in my wardrobe. Alot of my work trips take me around the region. There will also be formal dinners on these trips. The problem is, the usual clothes I fancy can't quite fit the occasions. I prefer to go dowdy to try to look older and not so conspicuous.

So I've accumulated clothes that I won't normally wear unless it's on a work trip- strange cheong sam tops, kebaya tops, etc; gaudy (some) selections of colors and easy tops/pants that won't crease when squashed into a suitcase and still look good enough for fancy dinners which don't require a Chanel clutch as an accessory or stilettos on the feet.

We'll see if I can move my lazy ass to go shopping. I definitely want to look around and take in the sights and sounds of Vientiane, not to lose myself in knick knacks and shops. Although I think it's a great idea to contribute to the economy of Lao PDR in a small way. Heh. That sentence sounds completely contradictory.

Sticky Rice

I love Laos' sticky rice (khao niao, pronounce it the same way as Thai)!

This is the dry type rather than my usual acquaintance with the wet Chinese glutinous rice served at dim sum. The Laos' version tastes and chews like brown rice. I'm a total fan of brown rice, so Laos' version charmed me.

At the traditional Laotian dinner, the 4 Singaporeans at the table went crazy over sticky rice. We rejected the steamed white rice, ate up all the dry sticky rice in our allocated basket and ordered extra baskets. We completely busted the carb count.

The khao niao went swimmingly with chilli and a pretty good tandoori-tasting grilled fish. Again, I ignored the chicken curry. I went for the handmade fishball soup and loaded up on plenty of stir-fry cabbage. YUMMY.

I definitely prefer the cooking methods for Laotian food to Cambodian flavors. Laotian food is not as heavy handed on the salt or spices. But I'm not a fan of the Mekong fishes in either country. Same river. I'm not quite used to the powdery, mushy texture of river fish.

I spent some time talking to the elderly Laotian gentlemen seated next to me. He barely spoke English. So we switched to Thai. He fully understood what I said, but I only comprehended 50% of his replies. Haizzzzz. I wanted to find out more about traditional Laotian dishes and their names. So that, I managed to do.

Tomatoes!

Vegetables here in Laos are unbelievably fresh. Mind you, there isn't a concept of organic or otherwise. The people simply grow vegetables the way they always have. Agricultural land is largely unpolluted, except for those evil unexploded buried bombs.

With alot of skepticism, I took a small scoop of tomatoes to try. These were just normal tomatoes. They weren't the honey tomatoes or anything fancy. But woah, 2 bites were enough to convince me to go back to the buffet line and dump a larger scoop onto my plate.

In fact, a full plate of raw cubed tomatoes and sliced cabbage was all I wanted for lunch. I'm salivating just thinking of having the same thing tomorrow. Crunchy and sweet, I could happily eat another plateful if not for the fact that people already think I'm obsessed with my weight.

I didn't bother clarify about dietary preferences or tell them that I'm not trying (not too hard anyway) to lose more weight. It isn't very polite to tell my hosts that I don't eat chicken and I'm not too interested in the rest of the food can I? They will think that I don't like Lao food; when the truth is- I don't even eat this sort food at home. Let's just say that I can cook a better spaghetti bolognaise than what's been served at lunch.

So I simply smile and let them assume I eat this way because girls generally want to keep their figures trim.

Red, Blue, Yellow, Green & Many!

Apparently, semi-precious stones are the things to buy here. There're plenty of jewelry stores everywhere.

Right at the lobby of our hotel, there're 3 jewelry stores with all its colors and tempting sparkles. There're the loose stones and the ones set into earrings, bracelets and necklaces. A little gaudy, I find. The 14K yellow gold used is also questionable.

Well, if one considers that crappy costume jewelry at the malls in Singapore go for S$80 - 120, then at US$80 - $120 for a necklace made up of real rubies, jewelry is really cheap in Laos. The country's doesn't have naturally-occurring rubies. The rubies are all brought in from Myanmar. And Myanmar stocks some of the best quality rubies in the world. Somebody mentioned that the pigeon's blood ruby cost a mere US$600 - 800 here. I assumed he was referring to a size of 1.5 - 2 carats of a loose stone.

If one buys colored stones often from Thailand and thinks it a reasonable price compared to what Singapore offers, then you should come to Lao PDR, if you don't mind the fact that there's NOTHING to do here and everything's so basic. Stones are a good 35 - 40% off Thai retail prices. Lao PDR offers its stones literally at the true wholesale value.

I'm no expert on the stones. Neither do I wear colored stones often. I definitely wouldn't buy them off the shelves. I prefer buying them from etsy or indie beaders. But I'm seeing a mindboggling selection which will attract many. Anyone skilled in beading and crafts would love to come browse and stock up.

Eating Less

I like work trips. I get to lose ALOT of weight because I don't have much appetite for huge meals. And honestly, since there isn't sashimi or sushi, I'm not too interested in the food. Heh.

Obviously I skipped breakfast today. At 7am, it was too freaking early to eat. There was quite a spread at lunch. So each stand-alone food station dished out small portions to the guests. I was particularly happy with the Lao version of curry laksa. They used bee hoon, tau pok, beansprouts and a slice of egg. I like! Not healthy, but so tasty and spicy in a tasting portion. Fruit for dessert contributed to the necessary fibre. That was lunch.

Eating less carbs is good. I really don't need the extra carbs to put me to sleep. Sitting through the meetings is quite a challenge. I amuse myself by reading the papers and slides which had plenty of substance and relevant content. It's just tough to strain to understand all the accents and importantly, the different concepts and definitions behind the same words. Keeping awake during the long presentations is virtually impossible. At some point, one will nod off for at least 5 minutes. I'm guilty as charged already.

La Terrase For Dinner

We didn't have to stay in the hotel for dinner. Whew. It was such a refreshing thing to be out in the open smelling the streets instead of carpets and air conditioning.

I haven't been to Laos for a long time. It is still familiar, but the town centre has changed so much. The streets have become touristy. Many more cars zoom by on the narrow roads. But there aren't any fast food outlets in the country, yet. Yay! What I really wanted to do, was to walk along the streets where the cafes were still open. But I guess I couldn't very well leave the group. I was tired- so the thought of sneaking out wasn't dominating my mind. Getting into bed to sleep was priority.

We were taken out to a quaint little cafe called La Terrase along Rue Nokeokoumane where locals and expats went to for 'good' western-style food. Cream of pumpkin soup! Mmm. But it held more cream than pumpkin bits. Eeeks. We all skipped the cakes, tiramisu and whatnots. There were tubs of homemade ice-cream in various flavors. We each chose a scoop. Mine was an intriguing mesh of ginger and honey. I enjoyed it! I could taste the freshly grated ginger that didn't sting the tastebuds. The honey rounded it off nicely. Very well made.

Our hosts regaled us with their experiences of living in Laos. I learnt that to get the familiar household products available in Singapore, I'd have to make regular drives across the border to Thailand to get a Tesco and stock up on groceries. The easiest conversation topics on a dining table of strangers (Singaporean) thrown together would revolve around food, religion (churches) and education. Those topics exactly what our table spoke about.

Then conversation turned to school systems and kicked off a lively discussion about the 3 generations of children growing up within the Singapore system; each of us contributing our memories to it. Given how rigid our education system is and what it means to excel academically, I guess it isn't much of a surprise that we went to the schools with similar academic focus or that our parents could possibly even be schoolmates.

Attending The Meeting

I had a major luggage scare because the checked-in suitcase didn't arrive like it was supposed to. But my earnest counterparts sorted it out for me and apologized profusely even though I couldn't see what the 'mishap' had got to do with them.

All alone in the dark, my poor Joe Bear who sat in the suitcase was frightened out of his wits. But he got to me safe today. He made me promise never to put him in a check-in luggage again when I'm travelling cattle class. Spoilt brat. Luckily I had all my essentials packed into the cabin trolley. WHEW.

As a guest in Lao PDR, it's lovely to be taken care of upon arrival and sent to the hotel with many considerations taken care of. There isn't anything to fault the hosts on their hospitality which has been warm and efficient.

By the end of today, I expect the negotiations tomorrow to be really exciting! (I think only my colleagues can make sense of this paragraph. :p) We'll be split into 2 separate teams, go into different meeting rooms and deal with 2 separate NEW issues. Wieeeeeee! We've pow wowed. Come tomorrow, let's hold fort and defend our territory!

L'Chaim

Breaking wine glasses didn't seem appropriate. Neither the man or I are into wine. So we broke out the expensive crystal whisky glasses and stomped on them in a symbolic gesture.

The friends' texted, "We kept ours on for 2 days! Then we chucked it into the drawer for good! We can't even fit into the bands now. Do better than us!" I grinned. It's been a week. I'm still not used to the rings. The man, on the other hand, seems to have done better. He has no issues with wearing the band to jam sessions and to do whatever that is he does at the gym.

The weight of the platinum isn't just literal. It's also metaphoric of the gravity of the legally binding contract/s we've signed. However, the state of being married doesn't make me happier or delirious with joy. I feel normal. In fact, I'm still more than slightly annoyed at the mountain of legal paperwork we've to comb through.

Prior to the wedding day, I wasn't at all nervous or particularly thrilled. We picked the wedding date simply because it was the most convenient opening in both our calendars and especially because by chance, many of our good friends who don't live in Singapore are back for short stints this October.

People around us seem to be happier to have us married. For some reason, knowing we're married seems to make people comfortable. We don't really care. I think we prefer to forget that we are married. To us, the wedding day was simply an occasion to ink an agreement to become legal partners with allocated rights recognized under Singapore laws. The essence of our relationship should remain the same. There shouldn't be such a thing of being more deeply in love or anything like that. It is the relationship that needs to be nurtured and nothing else.

By no means, our definition of marriage conforms to the majority's definition of marriage. In fact, I resent labelling the man as 'my husband'. He's simply 'my partner'. And this is how I shall introduce him, either by that or by his name.

I'm glad the wedding has been done on my/our terms and conditions. That made it perfect. However, the legal state of our relationship doesn't change a damn thing. We are still us. We're not going to preach to anyone about the wonders of marriage because we don't view it that way. The wonder is in the relationship and being in love; not justified by a single stupid piece of legislation that does nothing for our state of mind, but pisses me off in every detail in amending paperwork, forms and whathaveyous.

If these sort of posts interest you, click on the label/tag 'Ketubah'. You might find some fairly new content in there. However, comments for those new-old posts are closed. Comments are only enabled in this current post.

The PC7

Having had Bruichladdich's very aggressive Port Charlotte PC6, we were eager to try the Port Charlotte PC7. We can't wait to try the PC8!

In its trendy bottling, the PC7 is still an explosion of peat. But the fire has rounded off from the PC6. PC7 is a little sweeter and smooth. The complex wood notes are starting to come through stronger. We're a little tickled by maltadvocate's description of it as "Bold and fresh, bursting with testosterone". Quite true!

We tasted the PC6 and PC7 side by side. Such strong character in both single malts. Fiercely individualistic. We prefer the PC7. The man swore that there was the lingering taste of parma ham on the tongue. Hmmm. I tasted figs. Dried figs, to be specific.

Surfing through websites on whisky, I'm inspired to be a copywriter for whisky distilleries. Read through the tasting notes of the PC6, PC7 and PC8. Such poetic licence given to the the lines! It's as though I'm on a voyage to Scotland and a journey of discovery in Islay! What a fun job that would be. :D

Thanksgiving At The Lunch

I'm not deeply religious nor spiritual. I've a peculiar relationship with God. Yes, I've strayed from His Path, on purpose sometimes. I've questioned His Judgment. But I've never lost the faith. As I explored the ways of the world, He has always gently guided my decisions. As the years pass, I begin to understand just how blessed I am in His Love.

Likewise, the man isn't religious. But the man recognizes God's Hand in His generous gifts that have subtly shaped his life. The man and I are acutely aware of the many blessings that have warmed our lives.

It was an unequivocal decision that our honeymoon would be spent working on charity projects in either Borneo, Cambodia or Laos. We need to do further research on the specific nature of the projects and define the requirements involved. For once, instead of upping and hopping off with a Lonely Planet guide, we've to sit down and plan a trip.

We understand just how lucky we are in so many ways. It wouldn't be right for The Lunch to go by without acknowledging God's merciful grace that has lit our paths.

The man and I agreed that a reading of a thanksgiving prayer after the ceremonies was essential. It was important to us that on this day, together with our friends, we gave thanks to all that is wonderful, to the trials and tribulations of life, and, to love.

As lunch was served, the man led the table to say grace.

Checking Out The Girl

Very pleased that I managed to find a nice ang pow envelope to stash a gift for a newborn.

Been so flooded with work stuff and activities that I had to miss the newborn's One Month Party/ies, twice. I finally fixed a date and went to visit the new mommy, daddy and their not-so-tiny bub.

The bub was in the most agreeable of moods and entertained us with little frowns and smiles. She quietly lay in her rocker for a bit and let us sit at the table for lunch. The mommy was able to finish her food before the bub demanded to be carried and promptly fell asleep.

The little bub liked attention! She enjoyed us fussing over her and didn't even mind getting her little hands, legs and hair pulled. I eyed her clenched fists. I slipped my ring onto her finger and giggled. It could fit 2 tiny fingers! Her parents rolled their eyes.

Start 'em young I say!

Something Apple

Dinner was a pathetic affair of takeaway sushi from the supermarket. Thank goodness there was apple pie to look forward to later in the evening.

The girlfriend baked today. Like bad pennies, the man and I turned up to savor the 'fruit' of her labor. This time, the girlfriend made an apple galette. She trotted out plates of it topped with ice-cream! So much nicer than dinner was.

Very pleasant to just sit and chat after a long day at the office. I didn't just have a slice to eat there and then. I also got to take the whole tray home. What a treat!

Boxes Of Favors

At this event that I call my own, attended by my closest and dearest, I don't see a reason to stinge. These are the people whom I share more than cursory conversation and smiles with. They know the partner and I well. These are firm friendships that have endured through the years.

I was feeling gleeful. Since I was such a tyrant about it, I was very sure that the friends would respect our wishes and come to The Lunch without bearing gifts. Which meant that, I, as Queen for the day, had full authority to hand out gifts instead.

I had plenty of reasons to shop and decide on what sort of wedding favors to hand out. I had toyed with ideas of moleskin notebooks, 8GB anti-virus equipped thumbdrives, external hard disks, laptop sleeves, unique silver key rings, umbrellas, a selection of favorite books, etc.

Finally I walked into Tiffany & Co and Mont Blanc. They did stock rather practical items. It wasn't hard to decide on dainty blue boxes for the ladies and chic black squares for the men. With the number of guests kept cruelly small, I could get pretty paper and personally pen a note for each.

An Evening With New York Philharmonic

Madame K is back in town for a bit and of course we had to meet before she flies off home. We had a couple of choices, one of which involved a dinner at Tatsuya. However, the date we arranged to meet was exactly during the performances of the New York Philharmonic with Alan Gilbert.

There wasn't much of a tussle. Tatsuya lost. Out of the 2 nights, we picked tonight's programme featuring Frank Peter Zimmermann on the violin doing Brahms' Concerto in D major for Violin and Orchestra, Op.77. We kept an ear out for Allegro non troppo, Adagio, Allegro giocoso and ma non troppo vivace- Poco più presto.

I really really wanted to see and hear the violionist virtuoso at a live venue, not on cds or youtube. I figured Madame K would enjoy too. What I did not expect was the man to merrily (voluntarily) come along. Well....honestly, it wasn't his sort of music. But the man surprised me. He did not fall asleep and in fact, paid rapt attention to the instruments.

For the second part of the performance, Madame K and I especially enjoyed the full orchestra's very familiar selections from Mahler's Symphony No.1 in D major. We proclaimed Fierlich und gemessen, ohne zu schleppen as tonight's personal favorite part. Fairly safe picks by the orchestra for tonight's audience who wouldn't be too critical.

Off stage, I couldn't keep my eyes off the many bags on the arms of a well dressed crowd. Chanel and Hermès dominated the entire seating at the stalls and foyer stalls. Big totes, shoulder slings, small rectangles, evening purses...... I had a fun time eyeing the neverending parade of bags. I thought it was kinda cool that there were many men in the audience who still bothered to throw a jacket over their jeans for a night out at Esplanade Concert Hall.

The best part of the evening- receiving a big bouquet of cheerful yellow flowers from Madame K. You know what babe? You're uncanny. I'm not sure how you selected these out of all available species at the florist's. These are flowers that belong to my favorites.

The Wedding Cake

I didn't bother with the fuss of having a wedding bouquet nor a cake. The girlfriend thought it most unseemly.

She had this idea of baking me a cake and merrily mused aloud how one could go about doing it. I balked at the sheer effort of a tiered cake. So I told her not to bother.

She turned up at the lunch with a huge cake box in tow. By golly, it was an incredibly pretty cake. It was totally made with love and each chocolate chip lovingly placed by using chopsticks. The girlfriend cut the sugar and used the best chocolate for this cake.

Although the restaurant had a policy of not allowing cakes from other places to be eaten on its premises (quite common now), they made an exception for us. But they must have been worried to death about it! Oh well. I had full confidence in the kitchen hygiene of the girlfriend.

I tell you, I'm in awe of all my girlfriends. They're all incredibly good bakers and cooks. Divine creations appear from their kitchens at the snap of a finger. It's pure magic.

So it came to pass that we had a fantastic chocolate cake for dessert. This was on top of the not-too-bad desserts on the menu of a choice of vanilla panna cotta with limoncello sauce or Gianduia chocolate parfait with Amarena cherry sauce.

Baked with love and tremendous effort, this cake, is one of the most fantastic wedding gifts to us, ever.

The Lunch At DOMVS, 18102009

The one thing I was terribly meticulous about, was the menu at The Lunch. I refused to feed my guests bad food. I rejected the first draft of the menu. It was rather decent, but I thought it too cheap and not up to my usual standards. So the restaurant increased the price of the menu, put out different ingredients and offered options for each course.

I didn't just make the chef think about complementing flavors. I bullied him and repeatedly went over the ingredients to extract his assurance to ensure that they were from sustainable sources.

It was rather strange that DOMVS didn't carry Krug. Oh well. I made do with Dom Pérignon and pointed to the vintage bottles to serve at lunch. Even though I'm not a wine drinker, I didn't think much of the selected red as it was too young. I liked the light sauvignon blanc which went down really well- 6 bottles were polished off, I believe. We also brought along bottles of single malt- Bowmore 21 y.o that would go beautifully with the food.

I also made sure the guests had 2 choices for each course, including dessert. The kitchen was more than capable of catering to the different selections. A third option of vegetarian was demanded as well because yours truly would be having that. I kinda made them put beetroot in my salad. The rest had a choice of either beef carpaccio in Parmesan cheese crust with rocket salad, smoked ricotta cheese and truffle essence or Tuscany style seafood soup.

The one thing that the man and I insisted on having in the menu was DOMVS' signature homemade basil spaghetti with clear tomato essence. Caviar was sprinkled on top for those not having the vegetarian option. We had a bit of tussle with the kitchen because we wanted the essence from ox heart tomatoes and not any other species. The kitchen said it would involved higher costs. I told them to put that on the tab. So that settled it.

It was of utmost importance to the man and I that the food served at our wedding was par excellence.

A Meal

As busy as the dear friend's father is, in spite of an early morning flight tomorrow, he took time out to host us to dinner at one of his favorite restaurants, indulged us in all our dietary preferences and ordered so much food that could feed many of us.

Then we chatted. The topics just flowed and the conversation was hilarious. He regaled us with tales we never knew and we shocked him with the naughty things we used to do as kids.

At work, he is a formidable man. Authoritative and decisive, you'd completely defer to his title of 'Chairman'. But to us, he's just Uncle K, warm, engaging and indulgent. He routinely tsks at us whenever we buy little gifts for him and the family. But he doesn't bat an eyelid or listen to our protests when he sends us rare single malts and takes us out to yummy dinners.

It's one thing to have the dear friend to claim as ours. It's quite another for us to be at ease with the family and have her father treat us like his own too. We feel so so blessed. :D

Off To Lunch

It was a quirky kind of day.

However, the weather was dreadfully humid and hot. Eeeeps. Luckily we didn't have much to do outdoors. Lunch was comfortably held indoors in air-conditioning.

Since I was in a stern midnight blue sheath dress trying to channel British chic in 3-inch stilettos, I thought a homemade fascinator would be most appropriate to complete the look.

The girlfriends thought it'd be better for me to head to the salon to do my hair. I refused. I preferred to get dressed at home. I like doing my own hair. :)

I was a tad worried that the hairpiece would look cheapo. After all, it cost less than S$10 to put together. I saw some lovely ones in London and Paris. But I refused to fork out £120 or €90 for one. After a while, I wasn't bothered anymore. No one would be coming up that close to peer at my handiwork.

But yes, I like this sort of look rather than the flouncy party dress poofy image. I tried those dresses and was totally horrified by the images in the mirror. I looked like a ridiculous cupcake in those clothes. You know how I don't fancy colors. This boring fashion style works for me.

Ummm....yes?

Our Wedding Lunch

We feel safe and secure in the knowledge that our friends love us and would not give us tacky gifts or ang pows ever. This was simply, a lunch, an intimate gathering of friends in our honor. Faced with the (to them!) uncomfortable prospect of coming empty-handed, the friends were undaunted. They got down to the basics. Some came with flowers (clever!) and many presented us with cards.

And write, they did. They penned poems and long lines of non-standard congratulatory wishes. The writing was beautiful. These friends could all write so well. It was awesome. I smiled a secret smile because none of them simply used the word 'congratulations'; the same way as I never once used the word 'marriage/married' in my emails/invites. They probably flipped out the thesaurus and combed through them to get the best words. Heh.

The man and I spent so much time reading and re-reading each line in each card. These cards mean more to us than any ang pow. Money, we emphasize, doesn't impress us. There is no need to add to our coffers. Even if we had thrown this giant-ass fancy dinner for 1000 guests, we'd still put our feet down to print a line to say "no ang pows necessary and no ducks/geese or sharks in any form will be served for dinner."

We are, however, extremely touched and impressed by the gift certificates that accompanied the cards, say, to Kiva, Oxfam, TisBest, Singapore Red Cross and Tabung Bencana NSTP Media Prima, and et cætera. The friends have also offerred their time and effort to be charity slaves, leaving it up to me to roster duties. Wieeeeeeeee!

I leave you with an extract from a wedding poem somebody wrote:-

Ora Et Labora-Alchemical Dictum

"Take these ancient rites and boil them down,
Distill this day to its purest essence -
You dissolve yourselves
and transmute into a stronger whole.

Not every disintegration is a surrender.
Break down all the elements of love,
To these add an equal measure of belief
And watch them
transform into a union of equals."

Ketubah

Inked.

Bling-ed

It was an unexpected, extravagant gift. Too lavish, methinks.

Despite insisting on my now-usual rules of not wanting material gifts, this gifter (not the man or his family!) is one person that I can't quite shout down. When it comes to the battle of wills, I usually lose. I keep emphasizing that I have enough earrings in varying sizes (and colors) for various purposes. Yes, the collection doesn't have a pair of 2 carats because I don't think it's necessary.

Still, I lost the argument. The jewelers were alerted; stones were selected, set and delivered. So it ends up that this pair of earrings is now sitting snugly in my drawer, waiting to be worn.

When I tried it on, the 2 carats on each ear looked absolutely blinding. My ears aren't that big, but fleshy enough to take the size of the earrings. To be honest, the stones look a tad fake from certain angles.

Well, because of its impractical size, I'm doubtful it can be worn daily. On the weekends and evenings probably. Definitely not to the office or work events. This pair shall be worn on special occasions.

Flowers For Us!

We hadn't even bought our weekly flowers when a huge cheerful bouquet arrived in the afternoon.

When I popped home to quickly change for dinner, I had to make a longer stop than intended. It was such a joy to see the pretty pastels sitting quietly by the bay window. I just had to pause to admire them properly. I like flowers, all sorts. I've taken these out of the stylish wrapping and put them into a vase for the living room. The man's Mommy is delighted with the bouquet too! The flowers really brighten the flat.

Thanks, B and gang! Such an unexpected surprise. We love you for thinking of us young'uns. We've much to learn from you, especially graciousness. :D

Yelling For Sharks' Fin Soup

This is one of those videos passed around for us to laugh at humans who throw tantrums over (the lack of) sharks' fin.

I'm inclined to think that it's an act. Rolling on the floor...seriously? It's almost like those people who weigh how much to give for wedding angpows by whether there's sharks' fin soup on the menu at a decent hotel restaurant. Very distasteful.

If you understand Cantonese, it's hilarious.

A Morning Break

On a busy day, lunch wasn't quite on the schedule. But at some point, I'd need to eat. Having a sudden small pocket of free time in the morning meant that the man and I could have brunch together.

We liked the eggs at the cafe at Hediard a fair bit. Plus we had errands to run in the form of buying a ton of bottles of jam, balsamic, oil in olive, hazelnut, walnut, etc etc. The bottles were to be given away to the friends. We like the cafe on the weekdays because it's rather quiet. The weekends could get really noisy with the chi chi crowd packing in for brunch.

Oh, I should mention that the cafe's freshly squeezed orange juice costs S$15 a glass. It is a big glass, twice the size of those at other cafes. Granted, they use good oranges. But the first time I ordered it and saw the bill, I was a little stunned. Heeee. But it hasn't deterred me from ordering since. It is very good juice; not the frothy sort.

Today, it was very pleasant to sit in an almost empty cafe for a slow bite and linger over tea and coffee.

Bento Lunch

Did I already mention that I'm liking this month? I'm a lucky girl this October. Such a good coincidence that Jomel is able to hop into town for a couple of days. In spite of her many yum-cha dates, she made time to have lunch with me. Even though this week is madly packed, die die I must also squeeze out an hour for her.

Off we went to Tatsuya for their bento lunches! She brought along her youngest. Too bad I didn't have chocolate or ice-cream to entertain her. But it was lunch!! She must eat properly!

However, the little mei-mei (小妹妹) declared that she didn't like sushi and eyed the chawanmushi with utmost suspicion. But she merrily finished all the tamago, teriyaki chicken and rice. And got coerced by her mom to eat the slices of watermelon. Good girl.

It was a rather cool day, so sitting al fresco wasn't too uncomfortable. It rather entertained the little girl who had a lot more space to move around. She quietly sneaked into the restaurant where all the kimono-clad big Jie-Jie (大姐姐) indulged her and let her peek through the windows right where our al fresco table was. She brightly waved at us through the window and giggled. I really didn't know what was so funny! Whatever makes the little mei-mei happy!

It was a most enjoyable lunch. Very happy to have caught up with Jomel. I'm loving my new pretty white coral necklace. Thanks babe!

Not Needed

The BFF and I had a brief but intense conversation. She was trying to convince me the merits of something which I didn't quite think it was necessary. Needless to say, the conversation ended in a most fruitful manner, for me.

BFF: Come. Let me give you a gift. There's this really good stylist and make-up artist. I can get the stylist to shop for a dress for you. Then I'll send the make-up artist over to your flat on the morning of the 18th to make you all pretty.

Me: No need stylist. I've got my own opinions about clothes.

BFF: Fine. Then do the make-up. The artist is really experienced. Great attitude. I guarantee she'll do the natural style you like. Look good on this special day.

Me: I very ugly meh? I'm pretty enough already. No need make pretty.

BFF: Wah lau. You damn annoying. Don't you want to look booomz?

Me: No thanks. I want to look NORMAL. I want to look boring even.

BFF: So I can't get you anything girlie like that?

Me: NOPE.

BFF: Bitch.

Went Home With Big Orange Paper Bags

The major damage to the credit card wasn't done at Chanel. It was done at Hermès.

We didn't exactly plan on buying anything. (Like earlier at Chanel) We didn't order anything either. We just wanted to see what sat on the display shelves. Mommy likes the Birkins and Kellys. She wears them well. She looks great carrying the bags and not as though she's a fashion victim with the bags carrying her.

I admire the fine leather and handstitched quality of the brand. But I'm just not into the Birkins and Kellys or anything in exotic reptile/ostrich leather. I love my Lindy. I like my other ones that I can never remember the names of. Like the brown I'm carrying in the photo. That's a lovely casual sling.

We saw a couple of new items. There were some new designs by the line and new colors for the rest. What were the chances that the boutique had new stock delivered just 2 days ago, and nobody bought them yet. Between Mommy and I, we walked into Hermès with one Hermès bag and walked out with three.

All Black

Mommy and I braved the weekend crowds and hopped into Chanel. We had bags to send for repair. One had a faint discoloration happening in patches and the other had frayed straps.

To our pleasant surprise, Chanel was able to change the straps of one on the spot. But for the other, it had to go for a 'consultation' with the head office in Paris before they could determine the next step of action.

While we waited, of course we looked at other bags. We couldn't tear our eyes off a pink monstrosity replete with a furry top that this woman was fingering. All my insides were screaming, "Don't buy it, woman!". But when I saw her furry pink shoes, I understood why she would even consider buying it.

Anyway, it was kinda dangerous to let me loose in a Chanel boutique. I'm not even sure why these bags attracted me. One was really light and looked great as a travel bag on Mommy. I had the sales executive wrap up another. Told you I really like black. It wasn't a bag I needed. Oh well. I don't have a 2.55 in lambskin black for casual wear and squish. *shrug*

Them Chilling Out

The man has fixed up a dinner and gig date with his best girlfriend!

And the silly duo want me along. The girlfriend has threatened to kidnap my bears if I don't turn up.

Very sweet of them. But I really don't want to barge in on their date night. Sure, they talk over Skype, emails and all, but it isn't quite the same as meeting up in person to chat. They definitely have lots to catch up on. She isn't in town that often.

There was a period when I was really insecure about the man going out without me. But that period is over. Nowadays, I don't need him to 'report' who, how and what. I only need to know that he'd be out on his own at a jam, a gig, bar, whatever. I don't need him to text me 5 times over the next 5 hours to tell me what he's doing.

We already live together. So I advocate 'apart-time'. It's a good thing, I feel. Aside from the day when we're separately at work, we should split and do our own things at least (preferably) 3 nights a week. Otherwise, I won't have enough time to see my friends and do naughty impie stuff!

Likewise, I'm quite happy when he's away for his work trips and vice versa. I don't quite miss him that way. Work travel has been too ingrained in our lives till that it doesn't make an impact unless the trip lasts for more than a month.

I shall go have a massage and a facial. The best thing, when I get home, there will be no one to squabble with me over using the big desktop. I can surf online in peace. I don't have to fight with the man to put the air-conditioning warmer. I can go without air-conditioning.

Speaking of which, now that the man's on his way to pick up his girlfriend, I better remind him to hold the drinks and send her home properly at the end of the night.

Getting A Ring

Once we made the decision to legalize our relationship in the eyes of Singapore's laws, the man's parents were thrilled and insisted I needed an engagement ring.

I surprised even myself- I didn't feel the need to have an engagement ring. The man has always shown his love in many ways and when it comes down to this, getting him to buy me a ring was the last thing on my mind.

Since the parents were insistent, we went along with it. Like excited children, the parents trotted off to the jewelers. They obviously saw lots of fun in this whereas we were completely nonchalant.

I wanted a random colored stone. Jewelry isn't an asset really. It doesn't have to be a diamond. It's just marketing. It's the wedding ring that I'd be more particular about. But the man's parents wanted to buy me a diamond. Okay. If it makes them happy. 1.5 carats and no bigger please, I requested. The rings that I tried on didn't have the ideal stone. The ideal one was sitting in a pendant. So it had to be taken out and set into a ring.

I'm not too bothered about wearing an engagement ring. I've 2 beautiful solitaires already. I'm not sure if a third is necessary. Yes, I like the sparkle. This newest, almost colorless diamond will be the most expensive solitaire I own. It speaks of the man's parents' love for me and their happiness with our decision. But the ring with the most special place in my heart is still the one the man gave to me 2 years ago. Very likely, the wedding ring is the one ring that will be worn daily, not the peripherals that would be changed about.

What I Truly Want For Christmas

I sent out an email to the friends to tell them what I'd like for Christmas.

I'd like a present in the form of their donation to registered charities in Singapore, Oxfam, Red Cross, etc. Or pick up volunteer work, do a charity run/marathon. Or simply stop eating sharks' fin. (Yes. It still pains me to attend wedding dinners of close friends that serve sharks' fin on the menu. I try not to, nowadays, citing work trips or vacations as an excuse.) The options are numerous and endless.

While many friends still dump presents on me, these friends are special in the sense that they're really close to me. They know how to pick the right presents and they're already very socially conscious, integrating volunteer and charity work into their daily lives. Those gifts, I gladly accept. I'm sorry if I sound ungrateful, but most of the time, the gifts don't suit my tastes nor needs. It's a complete waste. I end up recyling 80% of the presents I receive to the Salvation Army. (OEH- I don't recycle chak-chak presents to other people okay!)

I've never hidden my disdain for receiving ang pows for any sort of festivals, events or reasons. And I truly mean any sort of reason. If I ever stupidly coerce myself into marriage and a wedding dinner, I will still refuse to accept ang pows from guests. This is a meal I can well afford. I'll be damned if I make my guests pay for their meal which might not be tasty due to mass production. I have enough money of my own, don't need yours, thankyouverymuch. This is also the main reason for my distaste of Chinese wedding dinners. Very mercenary.

The going gets dicey when relatives insist on giving, get all smug and think you owe them a favor. Or when children get married, elders give them angpows because the parents of the bridal couple had reciprocated. It's a vicious cycle. No wonder I refuse to have anything to do with my relatives. I really need to educate the man's relatives in not giving me ang pows for any occasion. The past couple of Chinese New Years, those money in the ang pows went straight to charity and my side projects.

Southeast Asia has increasingly suffered natural disasters one after the other. So has the world. Singapore has been spared so far. We ought to count our blessings often and do our bit for the less fortunate more frequently.

Some friends are really lovely people. Nice and plodding through lives steadily. But there isn't an ounce of concerted effort to do charity work. I'd love my friends to be more socially aware, and environmentally responsible. That will be my best gift ever.

Addendum: Some of the friends have replied and it warms my heart totally to read about what they're doing. It's not about justifying their charity efforts. But it's lovely to be receiving gifts that truly warm my heart.

Shopping With My BFF

Only for the bff would I be willing to step into the shopping belt on a weekend. She was also on a mission to stock up toiletries and supplies. I mean, she bought towels. Nice big fluffy towels.

Toting large bags to contain all the shopping, the bff dragged me up and down Orchard Road all afternoon.

She oohed and ahhed over how cheap things at home are. She really misses home, I think. She told me that a S$17 book at Kinokuniya would cost S$32 in her adopted country for the now. The S$3.90 vaseline lip tube she favors costs a whopping S$12. EEPS.

We bought plenty of stuff. I did try looking at dresses. I'm supposed to get a dress for this event that I very much prefer to turn up in jeans. But Dawn bribed me with an apple pie, so I'm sorta obliged to fulfil my end of the bargain by wearing a dress now. Whatever I saw today was horrid. Too many complicated designs. Well, I forgot to hop into my favorite Laundry at Wisma and Hugo Boss at Ngee Ann City. I guess those 2 shops might stock what I like. Without a dress, there is no way I could get a matching pair of Louboutins. We walked into the shop, strolled one round and left. They had nothing new in stock. The shoe cabinet already has the usual boring patent ones in black, mauve and nude. I hate satin, crystals and ribbons. But we did buy other types of shoes!! Very comfy Flats!! We hopped into Camper and were thrilled that the discount shelf of 40% had shoes we liked in our respective sizes! Score!!!

I like this October very much. Most of my bestest pals are home for a couple of weeks. I really like having the bff around. Being more anal than I am, she has this amazing mean sort of wit and black humor that totally puts everything in perspective. When I think a little harder, I realize that all my closest girlfriends share the same sort of snarky humor. Gwen, Natalia, Fern, M, S, V and V. SIGH. Dawn, you too. No wonder I always lose out in all arguments.

The Male Went Shopping

The man was in the mood to shop. He had thrown out many items from his wardrobe and declared that he needed new pieces and spiffy suits.

Now, there aren't very many shops for men in Singapore. He mentally went through the list and decided on ZZegna. He doesn't like classics at Ermenegildo Zegna. He doesn't exactly have time to shop in Singapore. It would take a very lucky break to do that. But weeks back in Sydney, he managed to go through the boutique and finally proclaimed that classic Zegna stuff didn't quite fit him. I suppose he can ask Zegna to tailor the shirts and suits, but he doesn't like the wait and numerous fittings tailoring requires. So he found ZZegna and prefers that. The cut and designs fit him much better. The ties are slimmer too. Not skinny, but slim. Very stylish.

For once, I was the one plonked in a chair while the partner shopped. I didn't bother to go shopping for myself. There was nothing I wanted. The one red sheath dress I liked from DVF was made of 80% wool. Too hot. Nope. Got too many DVF wrap dresses till the prints have started to look similar. No more DVF wraps for me. Gotta look at their sheath and bubble dresses.

He paraded the selections of shirts, suits and ties for my opinions. Not that my opinions mattered all that much. The man had a very definite style of his own. He's got enough fashion sense not to require me to 'okay' his purchases. (Thank goodness!) The sales guy was excellent and made great recommendations. He was really good. At the end of the session, the man decided on a few of stripey cool shirts, a couple of suits and matching ties. He was even persuaded to buy 2 pairs of jeans. The only thing he didn't buy was a pair of dress shoes. Can you spell S-U-C-K-E-R?

Even though there was nothing much of interest to me in the shop, I totally enjoyed the service because they let me take photos all over and fed me Coke Light. Ha. But I forgot to ask for ice cubes.

A Decision

The man knows to never propose marriage to me. So he has never brought it up. He is well aware of my aversion for weddings and my views towards marriage. However, he does view marriage with a kind eye.

Our relationship has reached an equilibrium where it doesn't need marriage to justify its existence. I especially hate the phrase "take it to the next level" or "should settle down already". What the fuck? Ceremonies don't mean a thing to us. I do not conform just because society expects me to.

Why should I capitulate now?

I thought long and hard about it. There are many who would love to see us married. The legal or non-legal state of our relationship seems more important to them than us. The friends have argued persuasively and made valid points. If, it is indeed a formality on paper, then the action of getting married shouldn't have an impact on our relationship. Those bloody vows to be uttered on the wedding day are already the sort of commitment the man has promised me 2 years ago.

If I do this, I'd have to propose to the man. There will be terms and conditions, of course. If he agrees, then we have a deal. If not, things can continue humming nicely the way they have for the last couple of years.

So, we met each other at the negotiation table. I laid down terms and conditions- one of which involved no wedding gown, no bouquets and none of those traditional shebang. Importantly, that bloody piece of paper, while making others happy, I stress, doesn't make me happier in our relationship. It will be ultimately what it is- a formality to fulfil and not a circus to be displayed to the world.

He said yes. So we have a deal.

I'm very efficient. We might as well do this now. Otherwise, I'll lose my guts and back out. Importantly, we know many of our good friends will be in town this month. Peripheral things like picking a wedding venue, guestlist, menu, food, date, solemnizer (Justice of Peace), application to the Registry of Marriage have all been ironed out and confirmed in 4 days. Lovely, now I can get back to the business of drowning in the busiest weeks at work.

18 October 2009.

Cheering Up My Afternoon

Once I cleared my duties for this extra-curricular event, I decided not to go back to office and instead clear the mad accumulation of work at home. I would be more productive anyway.

The biggest reason, cold germs shouldn't be spread around in the office. But there're many meetings tomorrow, so I guess I might have to wear a mask.

I might as well enjoy this little quiet time of working from home. The team's entering the craziest months of the year. It's going to be a mad rush all the way till the end of the year. Wonder if we've bitten off more than we can chew. Now, I'm not certain if my earlier decision to take leave in December is wise because I'm effectively abandoning them and making others do my work.

I'm getting a headache looking through the spreadsheets of financial forecasts. UGH. Halfway through the emails and all this musing, the doorbell rang. There is magic in the air, I swear. A dessert angel was busy all morning and now, she delivers an apple pie to the door. It's piping hot- fresh out of the oven!!!

I can't believe what the eyes saw. A full round apple pie!!! Yay. I'm so thoroughly spoilt!

It's a private barter between the dessert angel and I. But yes, I accept your terms: pie = dress. Dammit. It's too easy to bribe me.

Emails can wait. Tea time! Mommy wanted a piece too. She merrily unwrapped the foil and brought out the cutter. Immediately, a slice of homebaked goodness was plonked on the table. Oooh. The crust has a touch of cheese in there. Lovely.