The Kebabs Were Rubbish

This wasn't technically cooking. Well, parts of it. The man wanted to do his lentils and rice again. So that's for carbs and some of it would be frozen for another meal. I wanted to get some marinated items from Ryan's, throw them in the oven and call it a meal. I hadn't actually tried their pre-done meats, so I was curious. 

Got kebabs of beef and lamb. Those were easy to grill. I forgot to check if they were indeed marinated. LOL In the end, the lamb turned out to be okay, but a tad tough, and the beef was completely unmarinated, of a lousy cut and virtually impossible to eat unless we use a sharp knife or scissors to cut it into tiny bits. Salt and pepper helped a little, but it couldn't mask the eeeeky taste of this cut of beef. Lesson learnt, don't buy the kebabs. If we do so again, we'll marinate it and sear it in the pan instead of grilling in the oven.

The store had no beef Wellington in stock when I popped in. I didn't bother to reserve. So I settled for chicken caprese. That required a final brush of egg wash before putting it in the oven to bake for about 15 minutes at 190°C or till it was golden-brown. This was fine. The pastry was good, but the chicken breast was a tad tough. Zzzzz. It went well with Tabasco's Scorpion Sauce. Luckily for us, the lentils and rice turned out fine and made for a decent meal overall still. 

Bonus Oysters

Hopped in to Morsels for lunch with V. I like catching up with her regularly. When our schedules are mad and cannot do things together, like hit the gym or something, meals are easier to arrange. I like this little restaurant and never had a bad meal there. Their lunch rotation of noodle bowls is rather fun. It was wonton mee for the week. The kitchen tends to make slight tweaks to the flavors through the years, but I've always liked it. 

Today's ingredients stated: charred pork jowl char siew with springy egg noodles coated with herbal umami sauce, kimchi pork wonton, accompanied by jalapeño citrus chilli and rich chicken broth. Awesome noodles done al dente, dnd I could deal with the kimchi in the wontons. However, this char siew was incredibly fatty, more so than other bowls in its previous iteration. No, let me amend that. It was ALL FATS. Granted, the menu said 'pork jowl char siew', but woah... I couldn't eat the char siew. SAD.

Added a portion of steamed venus clams in dried fig chicken broth, homemade kimchi and pickled wakame. It came with a few pieces of bread, and that was filling. The kitchen also sent us a complimentary portion of Irish Gallagher oysters topped with tosazu vinaigrette, pickled samphire, yuzu tobiko and sea buckthorn shrub. Those were delicious — extremely appetizing!

Half A Wing Eaten

When I bought Choya's fwens some toys for their birthdays, I also got her one. The goose or duck looked nice. It was made of cowhide, palm rope and bits of cotton filling. It's a dental toy. There's no squeaker in it. It isn't indestructible, but it should provide a nice chew. 

So this toy had been lying around for a month. She chewed off the tail bit and spat it out. Then she found the wing and chewed it a bit. It tore, but it wasn't a big deal. The labels did warn owners "not to leave it with the puppy after use". Well... Choya hasn't had a habit of eating her toys. All the fabric and fluff chewed out have been left on the floor or the carpet. She doesn't eat them. She generally doesn't eat cables or things like that. So I thought it would be fine. 

Last Saturday, she decided to excitedly chew off half a wing. I didn't notice it till Sunday afternoon. I was like, where is the chewed-off bit then? I didn't see it anywhere on the floor. The man asked if I was over-thinking again. No lor. I distinctly had the impression that the wing was intact till the Saturday evening's furious chewing. Still I left the toy lying around. 

I couldn't ignore it. Searched for old photos in the phone in the library and deleted albums, just to confirm my suspicions. Luckily I had one of the duck on its side, showing the full left wing. That was four nights before she chewed it off. And swallowed it. The photos confirmed that the wing was intact; if I couldn't find the remnants lying around, it was certain that she swallowed it. WALAOEH. And the next day, she promptly chewed off a smaller bit of the wing, and swallowed that too.  I was too slow to stop it. OMG. WTF.  SHE LIKES THE TASTE OF COWHIDE???!!! OKAY, NO MORE TOY. I removed it pronto.

At least she chewed off the soft bit. But the one eaten on Saturday night was quite a big piece for a 7kg dog. The piece swallowed on Sunday afternoon was smaller and wasn't a concern. Accck! I don't even give her rawhide chews at all. I was worried that the bigger piece couldn't be passed out through the small intestines. Strings, socks, anything fabric can cause intestinal blockage that require surgery if owners don't catch it in time to do a removal via endoscopy. Once these items pass through the stomach, it's gotta be a surgery thing to get them out. 

I watched her like a hawk, and looked at her poop for the next few days. I gave her extra food and psyllium husk to improve motility. She pooped per normal, and the volume wasn't smaller than usual. It was fine. But it was only on Tuesday that the first piece came out. Her Daddy took her for the walk and didn't squish the poop to check. He only took some blurred photos for me. She decided not to poop on Wednesday. She pooped today while out with Daddy, so again, I only had a blurred photo for reference. It did seem like the second small piece also came out.  

It has been five days, 120 hours since she ingested the soft cowhide. She hasn't exhibited any symptoms of intestinal blockage. She's eating and drinking, active and being naughty. I'm assuming all should be fine. Haizzzzz. I watch her poop closely all the time anyway, so I'll continue taking a look. But with each normal poop done, at least I don't have the psychological fear that she'll develop a megacolon and sepsis.   

Gosh. This girl. 😐🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

The unrepentant cheeky perp.

Congee for Breakfast

Since the dog woke me up at 5am, I couldn't get back to sleep. Luckily for me, I slept at 11pm the night before, so I got sufficient rest. Decided to prep breakfast for the man. Congee. And also prep enough so that it would be brunch for myself.

The few times I made it to Tiong Bahru to eat at the morning congee stall, it was closed! Randomly on a Thursday and Friday. I didn't know what was going on. While it wasn't a special trip made to have congee, I had a craving for it and thought I'd eat it after walking the dog. Sadly I didn't get to taste it for a few weeks. Decided to cook congee to satisfy my own craving.

Thawed out a few pieces of fish, and a box of chicken and pork stock. Threw in some dried cuttlefish, used a handful of rice and cooked an easy pot of congee in the rice cooker. Crisped up day-old dough sticks in the oven and sliced up some spring onions. Cracked open a century egg. The cooker was done in 90 minutes. Wheeeeee. The volume was just nice to fill up two big bowls for two, or three small bowls for three people. I like congee. It makes for a filling and easy meal for my stomach. Nutritious? Yeah, I suppose it would do. #ImpieCooks2022

Our coriander plant is sprouting like crazy. So I snipped off a few stalks as a topper for the man. He loves his coriander, regardless of the timing of the day. He likes hot, hearty and savory breakfasts. I'm not going to be able to make thosai, so he would have to contend with congee. Luckily for me, he didn't mind this bowl at all! He was hungry and needed a light bite before heading to the gym.

Walkies with Ryo

It has been raining loads in the afternoons and evenings. (At least it gives us the morning to play and poop, and I can still sleep in the nights.) So I adjust my work calls and try to take her out more often in the mornings. Her walkers have gone on a vacation; she doesn't have the benefit of pack walks for a few weeks — I have to keep her occupied.

Made a date with N and Ryo to pop out for a morning stroll. It's not a special arrangement. Botanics is convenient for both N and I to get to, and since we have to walk our dogs anyway on a day our schedules match, we might as well meet for a bit.

Toddled off to the Botanics to make a round. It's a short stroll and we can be done in less than 45 minutes. That time is sufficient for the dogs to make a few pees and if they want to, a poop. This Choya ate half a wing of her toy goose on Saturday night. I need to watch her for a few days in case of intestinal blockage. Ugh. It has been > 48 hours, and both her poops look fine, in her usual volume, and solid. I do have to continue watching her for the week. Ugh. I watch her loads anyway, but it's just the additional load of having this worry at the back of my mind.    

The lazy floofs were done in 45 minutes. Ha! It was a hot morning, and once they walked around, peed loads, pooped and sniffed a little, they were happy to trot back to the car. We decided to stop for a coffee and an açaí bowl. The floofs didn't mind. They snoozed while we chatted. 

N and I met because of our floofs, and a tentative friendship is formed because we genuinely like each other, and share a similar outlook on many aspects, and much common ground. In that sense, while we do talk about other matters, the main topic of our conversation is still really very much about the floofs. It's a comfortable friendship.

N is always worried that Ryo might snap at Choya. So far, it's Choya who has bared fangs at him... over food in a bowl. But from all signs and body language, I have confidence in Ryo. He doesn't like being cornered. Choya doesn't corner him; she leaves him be, so it works out fine. Ryo is rather particular about his fwens. Choya counts as one of those whom he doesn't mind and does get along rather well with. They can chill out together. They just can't eat their main meals within sight of each other. Choya guards that food bowl possessively. LOL

How Would A Marriage End?

The Atlantic carried an except from relationship coach and blogger Matthew Fray's new book- 'This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships' (March 2022). The magazine adapted it and titled it 'The Marriage Lesson That I Learned Too Late', published on April 11, 2022.

The author (then a digital marketing strategist) literally went viral in 2016 for a facebook post — that famous one — 'She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink'. I remember vaguely reading the title, laughed and said, 'Who does that? The dishes are but a catalyst.' Indeed it is so. The author is absolutely right. His wife didn't marry him to have to mother or baby him. If and when kids come along in a relationship, most women expect their partners to pull equal weight nowadays. 

The adaptation in the magazine is essentially a longer blog post from that famous viral post, only better crafted and more thoughtfully laid out. It still gets the message across though, that he finally realized what ended his marriage, and everything that led up to that decision and eventuality.

Every couple has their own unique version of The Same Fight. It could be any number of things. Throwing laundry on the floor. Tracking mud through the house right after your partner cleaned up. It doesn’t matter what the actual thing is. For us, it was dishes by the sink.

.....................

I think sometimes these little things blow up into The Same Fight because maybe we don’t think it’s fair that our partner’s preferences should always win out over ours. It’s as if we want to fight for our right to leave that glass there.

.....................

I wanted my wife to agree that when you put life in perspective, a drinking glass by the sink is simply not a big problem that should cause a fight. I thought she should recognize how petty and meaningless it was in the grand scheme of life. I repeated that train of thought for the better part of 12 years, waiting for her to finally agree with me.

I would read these stories or opinions (the genre) as an article, as a blog post or as a personal essay. I scan them and move on. I wouldn't normally don't bother with topics like this if they're a book. But I was curious. Hahaha. I wouldn't need to read this as a printed copy. So I listened to the 9.5-hour audiobook (speeding up audiobooks by 1.25x is optimal for me) on Storytel during over a few days when I had chores to do and I could portion some brain space to listen to the book, which wouldn't take up that much processing power. 

Matthew Fray's 'This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships' (March 2022), narrated by Rob Shapiro, is simply a collated volume of all his blog posts. Hmmmm. I actually trawled through them to ascertain a few facts in order to form my opinions.  

Imho, there's a huge issue published books by people who aren't trained writers, and people who write based on a fluke viral social media post. They might write well, but it's extremely subjective. They write from a personal view, and with an objective to 'increase eyeballs'. 

Chapter 10 'What Matters vs What Doesn't' is a whopping 8 hours. In this chapter that sells the atuhor's 'expertise' as a relationship coach, he throws around 'trust' loads, and relationship compatibility and expectations. Riiiight. There's a part I don't disagree with, that people who seem compatible by social definitions could have a colossal failure of a marriage. "A competitive pit-master BBQ guy can have compatibility with a beautiful vegetarian spouse." Partners need to feel respected and connected. 

The author provided a "quick five-step strategy for marriage success":

Step 1 Know thyself

Step 2 Make a wise and disciplined partner selection

Step 3 If you want it to be for life, marry them

Step 4 Love them for who they are, not for what they do for you.

Step 5 Repeat Step 4, every day, forever.

We're still on Chapter 10. So the author uses the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI) tests on his clients. He greatly encourages clients personality tests themselves, and take it again as their romantic partner would. He is an ENFP. Okay, whatever. He insisted that relationships do fall through the gaps between what the personality tests entail. WIN LOR. 

I'm no psychotherapist or psychologist or even a trained counselor. I certainly can't comment on his approach. If people want to pay him for this book and advice, by all means, do so. I don't know what type of training he underwent as a 'relationship coach'. He's certainly no trained marriage therapist. He's like your male buddy, your neighbor, your friend — someone you might approach for a few words of 'advice' over a beer on a normal day. An earnest locker room conversation. To officially pay him $175 a session for his 'advice'.... OKAY. WOW. I suppose people would pay him if they don't want to be labelled as officially going to a relationship therapist.

Okay. If I haven't been clear enough, let me state it for the record. I UTTERLY DISLIKE THIS BOOK. I won't discount the author's emotions. You do you. This is a book that caters largely to a stereotypical male audience, maybe slightly chauvinistic, someone who believes he's right all the time. He's assuming that women are generally more emotional, a tad more irrational and are incapable of understanding logic, and in spite of all that, men have to be understanding towards their chosen partners. But yeah, you do what you can to get through a divorce, to work through the different stages of anger, grief and all these emotions; to let go, to move on, to feel human again. 😐

Lentils & Rice

Had G and K over for an iftar meal. They haven't been able to fly in fuss-free to Singapore for a visit until the restrictions lifted and travel was made slightly smoother. They zoomed over in a heartbeat to stay for the month. They cleverly chose to stay in a service apartment so that they could do light cooking and not eat out. We found time to catch up with one another for a few dates. Aside from gym dates, we packed over groceries to prep a an easy burrito bowl dinner at theirs, and tonight, we had them over for dinner. 

For the friends to break fast, we rustled up a platter of juicy Oman dates and za'atar man'ouche with tomatoes and olive oil. I considered putting in a cheese pie, but that might be too much, considering that the mains were pure carbs. Luckily the dates and flatbread were sufficient and those went down quickly.

For our mains, the man had a recipe in mind. He tweaked it, of course, but it was his first time trying it out. Brave man. Brave guests. He wanted to do an easy one-pot lentils and rice. Every culture has a rice and beans recipe. It's all a matter of how one wants to do it that day. He ran the idea by me because it was a busy week for us and if we had to host guests on this date, I would have to clean up loads. He has now learnt that a chaotic kitchen drives me nuts. I okay-ed it. It wasn't too difficult to prep for and nothing that greasy to clean up after. 

The man meshed Mediterranean and Arabic recipes together. It's not exactly a mujadara. The man made his own version. Of course the pot held basmati and Du Puy lentils (or green lentils), tomatoes ,a ton of red onions, capsicums, red chilli powder and green chillies. There were also seared chicken thighs at the side for those who wanted extra protein in the meal.

The White Paper on Singapore Women’s Development

Channel News Asia, 5 April 2022.

I blinked when the government debated and finally allowed women to electively freeze their eggs from 2023. They've obstinately refused to do so. But usage has to be within the framework of a legalized marriage recognized within Singapore laws. All right. That's better than nothing. Slight progression there.

Does the government think that that many women welcome being single and unmarried mothers? Do policymakers assume many want to be long-term partners and have children without marriage; and if they do, what is it to them? But our patriarchal government can't have renegades eroding 'social values' and 'social cohesion'. So I've felt that most of our policies are unfair to singles, single mothers (widowed or divorced) and single unmarried mothers are especially ostracized by policy-makers. 

The government has moved to provide further "address the challenges of Singapore women" and provide better infrastructure "support their aspirations". On March 28, 2022, it put out the White Paper on Singapore Women’s Development, and has set out 25 action plans in 5 areas. Wow. People have been working hard behind the scenes to push for this. 

The White Paper tackles five areas: Equal opportunities in the workplace, recognition and support for caregivers, protection against violence and harm, other support measures for women and mindset shifts.

Downloaded the White Paper to comb through. 115 pages. If you don't want to read all of that, the Executive Summary is on Page 6 - 17. What works in Singapore, will uniquely be; it might not work in other countries. Our policies are designed for the Singapore society. Some are outdated and archaic, but some are progressive enough. We can always do better, but we should also recognize that we do do some things well.

Is this timely? Always. Policy changes are always needed. They ought to be reviewed periodically, and regularly. Nothing stays static forever. The demographic has changed, the needs and wants of the people have changed. The voices have changed. It's more than a generation shift. It's exactly what higher education has produced — a more active citizenry. Knowledge is power. And our incumbent government cannot expect us to acquiesce to their lead without a robust exchange of ideas and discussions. This is not a dictatorship or an authoritarian regime. 

The Government calls on every Singaporean to overcome gender stereotypes in our everyday actions that restrict or limit what women can do or become. Together, we can make Singapore a fairer and more inclusive society for future generations of Singaporeans – women and men, girls and boys alike.

We don't have plenty of women in key government, corporate and social leadership roles, but we do have them and they're slowly increasing. The traditional family caregiving model is shifting. If males can't step up to their responsibilities of being a partner, then women will. How these responsibilities are shared should be decided between partners, and not dictated by corporate annual leave policies and such. 

Policy changes are always a good push to effect cultural norms and mindset shifts. Our paternalistic government can choose to remain so (decided by the electorate), but it shouldn't be chauvinistic. We have far to go when it comes to tackling gender norms. Is there a model to aspire to? No. I'd like to think that we don't agree with oppression of women, although that doesn't mean zero violence, but at least society wouldn't let it go when that happens. We could afford to do with a lot less belittling and infantilizing of women in Singapore society. That would be a great start. 

Illustrated summary of White Paper's five areas via Reach.

春と鯛

I like little restaurants like Nozomi. It's got three locations and the one in Millenia Walk is very accessible to me and the friends. It's got reasonable pricing for lunches and such, and there's nothing to complain about decently cooked food. Time to meet J for a casual lunch on a work day. 

Nozomi currently offers a 'Spring menu' which listed tai (鯛) as their featured protein. Had a clear soup (鯛お吸い物; with tai of course, bamboo shoots and carrots) and a capellini tai tossed aglio e olio with yuzu olive oil and topped with ikura. I also couldn’t resist a bit of sushi, two pieces so as not to bloat the gut — negitoro and a piece of nicely seared hirame. That was satisfying, and easy on the stomach.

I realized I hadn't seen J for like... two months?!!! OMG. Hahahah. But we converse almost daily about work and such, so it didn't feel that long. We simply picked up where we left off… yesterday. Heh. There was just so much going on in the past few months that in a blink of the eye, it's almost May. The first quarter of the year has been done and dusted. We've even filed our taxes. Since traveling to Japan is a no-go now, comfort food and black coffee after at Tachihara felt consolatory.  

One Pot Fish Soup + Mee Tai Mak

The packs (500ml each) of frozen soup from Arcade Fish Soup are really super handy. They make meal prep such a breeze. In the middle of the week, it's nice to have something light but hearty in this way, as opposed to all the red meats and grease and well, cheese. Heh.

The soup base is so versatile. The other time, I simply made it a fancier fish soup by adding loads of fish to it; ponni rice accompanied that meal. Tonight, it was simply a soup base. Sure, there was ikan kurau added, but the chosen carbs were mee tai mak (is it called 'rice pin noodles' in English). I love mee tai mak, but forgot about having that till I spotted the packs in the supermarket. They're 'freshly made', so I can't keep them beyond a certain date.

I usually use two pots — one to heat up the fish soup and to have that blanch fish, silken tofu and wongbok to add flavors, and the other is filled with dashi to boil up the other ingredients. Tonight, the pot with dashi was used to boil up shiitake, Fuzhou fishballs, tofu puffs, and the carbs of mee tai mak. The whole meal took less than an hour to assemble. Although it would be ideal to marinate the fish in soy or mrin with ginger, onions and coriander for an hour or so. #ImpieCooks2022

The man was sooooo happy with this meal. Hmmm. Okay. I ain't complaining if this is the kind of simple food he likes. It's super clean cooking and totally fuss-free. Kimchi accompanied his bowl since he loves that bit of spiciness. I still prefer chilli padi in the soup! I love mee tai mak, and it's much easier to deal with at home over kway teow. Slurrrrrrrrp.

Iftar at Beirut Grill

The month of Ramadan also meant loads of cautious gatherings with our friends for iftar. I'm having a weird IBS flare for three weeks and counting; I don't quite dare to eat too much meats or grease. It's damn weird — a royal meal of spicy somtam and tom yam soup with spicy krapow or nasi padang with sambal is fine — but burgers and steaks send me straight to poop-hell. 

(Yes you may say it. That sounds like Choya's GI tract! I'm like Choya. Or maybe she's like me.)

Had an iftar meal with M and V at Beirut Grill. It was lovely to see the friends, and I was glad that the menu had plenty of delicious items that the stomach welcomed. Of course by tonight, I've been on three days of steady intake of probiotics and charcoal pills, a ton of water, minimal caffeine and zero alcohol and low sugar ratios. That calmed the stomach somewhat.

Besides the two mezze platters and a pastry mix, there were meats and seafood in the form of grilled kebab platter; they also ordered a most decadenet plate of Kefalotyri cheese with caramelized onions. Wow! I didn't dare to eat that much. Moderated my food intake and stuck to loads of hummus and moutabal, pita and a flatbread in the form of a manakish za'atar.

We ordered so much! We wanted to cancel the mixed meats kebab platter, but the kitchen already prepped it, so we took it. And horrifyingly, we ate a fair bit of the food with not much left. The leftovers weren't wasted; they were boxed and brought home to become a sahur meal.

Surprisingly, the stomach liked the pots of tea tonight. Mint and apple. Wow. I rarely enjoy hot drinks with my meal, but since the stomach was still tender, it didn't mind the non-caffeinated gentle teas. The restaurant brewed a pot of lovely mint tea. It was exceptionally soothing.

Emergency Alerts

Last month, Hong Kong friends were stunned by their shrill shrieking phones when an emergency alert was broadcast. Then there was a collective eye roll when they learnt that the Hong Kong government and its leader thought it apt to announce it to the nation in this manner, to utilize a HKD150-million emergency alert system to inform the public about a general hospital being redesigned as a Covid-patients only hospital. 

Then I read John Hendrickson's essay in The Atlantic published on April 14, 2022 about how the police sent out a state-wide alert for 62-year-old Frank James wanted as a suspect in the Brooklyn shooting. It's titled 'Today Your Phone Became a Police Radio: Roughly four hours after an unusual push-alert dragnet, Frank James was captured. Did policing just change?' 

Four hours later, the suspect was apprehended some nine miles from the scene of the shooting. Nobody knows if this was a direct result of the alert pushed out; at least this information isn't made public. 

Juliette Kayyem, a former assistant secretary for homeland security under President Barack Obama, described the digital feature to me as a “reverse 911” mechanism, an emergency-management tool that lets authorities contact citizens.

The New York Alert website says that the system’s goal is “providing critical updates to protect lives,” and that it pushes notifications for events including severe weather, public-health warnings, and missing children. The site makes no mention of manhunts. Using the tool for this alert rises “to the level of a first-in-kind,” Kayyem said. “If you sort of cross this bridge, as New York has done—and done this for a non-child case, a non-Amber case—what are their standards going to be? And that’s worth asking. Because you couldn’t do it every time there was a shooting.”

While the government alerts are turned on by default on Apple phones in US, mine doesn’t even offer a function to turn on and off these government alerts. Like at the bottom of Settings, there isn’t that option. We're locked to the telcos geographically, and government regulations. To be honest, I rather alerts come in through subscribed apps and such. I don't want my phone blaring out of the blue. 

Singapore is so small, and not difficult to set up alerts or tracing infrastructure. For now, we're thankfully geographically sheltered from many natural disasters. But we do need a national alert system.......... for everything else. We do have a public warning system by way of sirens, and an old-school system of FM radio and TV channels, and SMS texts as public alerts. Of course we also have whichever official government live feeds on YouTube or whichever video-streaming platform for announcements, and Telegram and WhatsApp channels to disseminate news to subscribers. I don’t think our government wants to provide the option (yet) for our phones to shriek at us for 10 seconds by way of sending out an emergency alert. 

S and the Boys Flew In!

S finally flew into Singapore this time without having to do quarantine. What a relief. It's crazy that she did the quarantine thing twice in the past two years. What the heck. It was good to see her and her boys at dinner. Conversation with them is quite a hoot. Hahahah. Well, of course seeing S and having a f2f chat with her is the best, but the boys are really growing up so well, so they can hold a decent convo.

We went to Nude Seafood at Marina One because, Choya. She remembered all of them. She circled the table, sniffed the air and everyone, and promptly went to lie down near the boys. Ooof. She likes them lah.  The boys are just tickled because Choya is soooo different from their standard Schnauzer at home. The 720ml bottle of sake was just for us three — the man, S and I. The boys said no to alcohol. REALLY. So disciplined. 

Ordered a bunch of stuff to share — kale and ma haw salad in Thai pork dressing, pomelo and peanuts, grilled tiger prawns with mantou, and clams in white wine with a piece of sourdough. The clam 'soup' was too good to waste. The table poured it out into sake cups and drank it like consommé. LOL The restaurant was out of all manner of chicken and the abalone tsukemen. Hmmm. The man and I shared a seafood arrabbiata linguine, and S had the grilled unagi-don. The boys opted for the bavette steak that came with charred corn and scrambled eggs. We made it to dessert. Hurhurhur.

As always, I'm thankful that S still flies in regularly to Singapore. I've missed her! I'm always glad to see her well and happy. Time truly flies. Soon, all her boys would finish their National Service obligations, and one by one, they would be off to college and their adult lives. Gosh, has it been that long when her youngest was way shorter than I am??! Ahhhhh. S and I are really really old now. 🤪

Filled in the Gaps in the Wooden Floor

I spent an entire day hunched over the bedroom floor's wood panels, filling in the gaps, sanding them, mopping it down, and finally lacquering the whole floor, except the part under the bed that I can't get to (because I can't move the bed). That took five hours in daylight. 

I could have hired someone to do it. But why bother. My handiwork isn't going to be as neat as a craftsman's. But it would do in a pinch. I don't particularly care that it doesn't look 'nicely done'. I only care that the gaps are filled, and no pests could make a home under those wood panels. 

What started this was spotting a number of stray carpenter ants on the bedroom floor last week. I saw a few come out from under the wooden floorboards. I was like... whaaaaat. Either a Queen ant came in on a hot day, or some worker ants came in from some hole in the wall to forage and seek shelter. Then I recalled this weird phenomenon — three weeks ago, carpenter ants thronged the bedroom window sill. I couldn't find a trail or why they were there. I thought they were outside and didn't bother them. My mistake was leaving that window open for hours. Three weeks later, I found carpenter ants in the bedroom. Hell, no. Those ants did come in to make a nest. Spotted a trail, left ant gel out and hopefully killed loads of them. 

Then I realized that the wood flooring is bust. Well, it wasn't well laid to begin with. (This flat is extremely shoddily built.) I knew I would have to seal the gaps between the wood panels some day. So this was 'some' day. Ordered a bunch of stuff to do the job. Waited for a few days to do so. I needed the extra time for more ant gel placements to ensure the most of them are dead or gone. I also needed a full day to do this, and have the room air out as the lacquer dried. When the number of ants dwindled, and my tools and supplies came in, I spent the day to seal up all holes along the wooden skirting in the wall and such. 

I rather enjoyed doing this. LOL Ahhhh no, the man isn't the type to help out. He can't. He's not too handy around the house. I'd also rather him stay away in the study or music room, or get out to the gym or the office. Don't get in my way. Hahahahah. TBH, manual labor is extremely cathartic.

BFF's 44th at Clos Pasoh!

When Chef Louis Pacquelin struck out on his own with Clos Pasoh after leaving the unsurprisingly short-lived Alan Ducasse's BBR at Raffles Hotel (it has morphed into Osteria BBR with Italian fare), I hesitated visiting this new spot because 1) I'm not a fan of French haute cuisine, 2) I couldn't be bothered to sit down to a long dinner, and 3) I have little interest in new restaurant openings nowadays. 

Tonight was a great reason to make a first visit. Made it to dinner at Clos Pasoh to celebrate the BFF's birthday. When we could share all the food, it makes it easier on my stomach. The birthday girl chose an easy bottle of 2020 Sancerre La Moussiere. It was lovely! And that was all we dared to drink. Nobody wanted more alcohol. LOL I drank more sparkling water than wine. 

The starters were delicious; I was full after that. LOL We had the asparagus with comte cheese dumplings and garlic foam, and coconut and lobster bisque, which also came with lobster dumplings. Shared three mains! We had a wagyu hanger steak with beef cheek confit, shallots and fondant potatoes, a whole duck, roasted and braised. But done medium, it wasn't my favorite texture or taste. We requested for the kitchen to torch the rest of it and hoped they wouldn't roll eyes too badly. Hahaha. 

I insisted on having the joues de lotte Basquaise, also known as monkfish cheeks, with piperade confirment, garlic & chilli sauce. It was as I expected — superbly executed. It's an amazingly light dish that my stomach welcomes any day. Had to share a dessert. Of course I didn't care about it, but I needed a birthday candle perched atop, and the BFF and the man loved desserts, so a mille-feuille of bergamot and early grey was devoured. 

Towards the end of our meal at 10.15pm, there was a very loud obnoxious male diner who came in with two women and insisted on the table that he wanted. He was extremely rude to the servers, and then banged the table when he didn't like what he was hearing about the wines or whatever. I don't know if he was drunk, high on something or was simply an asshole, but he's obviously a regular patron. While it's not the restaurant's fault that our experience was marred, I'm not sure I want to return to a restaurant whose regular diners might consist of a majority who are like this in the nights. If I do visit again, it'll be at lunch. 

The two women he was with looked obviously uncomfortable with his antics and rudeness, but they didn't leave or say anything more. They didn't even try to stop him. Which led me to think that in his belligerent state, he could be violent if I so much so as to catch him in the eye wrongly. There's no reasoning with this type of man. I would literally have to fight him first to get an edge in. If I let him take a swing at me first (to claim self-defence), I'd be rather disadvantaged if he's an MMA/krav maga expert. HOWEVER. This was the BFF's birthday dinner. I wasn't going to start any fights. I just wanted to get out. Our table was literally next to his. I quickly left the table to wait for the BFF at the spot nearer to the washrooms.

I was sooooo glad that we were done with the meal and dessert, and the BFF went off to the washroom before the violent banging of tables and shouting happened, so she didn't have to witness it. She shouldn't. Neither she or I are strangers to confrontation and actual real fights. JUST NOT TONIGHT. 

What a dramatic birthday, BFF. Glad you cleared being C+ in time for this dinner. May only mild and minor ailments flare now and then. Let's keep fit together and stay strong. We've got many good years ahead together. Be healthy and fabulous. 🤍🖤  

Labrador Park for Choya, Finally

Since May 2021, neither the man or I have been inclined to brave Labrador Park again with Choya. Loads of floofs go there on the weekends and such, and there're many there daily, and they've been fine. Ours was a freak accident on the most crowded of days. So I ain't gonna tempt fate again. However, fate still intervened. 

There wasn't prior discussion, and I didn't ask about where the pack was going that morning. When I finished some chores and finally opened up the app to locate Choya (via AirTag), my eyes popped out at her location. Labrador Park! OMG. I was stunned for a full minute. 

There wasn't prior discussion with the walkers, and I didn't ask about where the pack was going that morning. When I finished some chores and finally opened up the app to stalk Choya (via AirTag), my eyes popped out at her location. Labrador Park! OMG. Sure, she's in the relative safety of a pack, and under two pairs of watchful eyes of dedicated walkers. Still...

Of course the walkers know about her Labrador Park incident. But my fear can't interfere with the walk schedule and roster. I can be a worrywart. I'm soooo glad that I didn't check in with them on this particular morning. That would have totally ruined a pleasant surprise (for me)!

Her handlers told me that she had zero memories of the place, and charged ahead fearlessly. The walkers are always situationally aware, but they did extra to pause to scan the area loads only because of what happened to Choya. They parked at the area where we did, and walked the same route for the first five minutes, past the pavilion where I was stoically holding a dog with a ripped hole in her tummy in my arms, and calmly putting pressure on it to stem the bleeding. To everyone's relief, the pack met no simians that morning. Zilch. 

When I trust the walkers, it makes a difference to Choya. Labrador Park is a beautiful venue, and it's by the water. It's a park that she hasn't had a chance to explore. She totally enjoyed her morning (before the thunderstorm came in to upset her), and this particular maiden walk at Labrador Park meant a lot to the man and I. It meant a lot that Wandery safely escorted our smol girl to and fro, and created a fun experience for her, adding on to her memory bank. 

カキーン :: また行きたいです!

Since the man loves oysters, but haven't indulged in any for months, the friends took us to dinner at Kakiin Oyster Bar (literally, カキーン オイスターバー HAHAHAHA). I had enthusiastically set an alarm on the phone to remind myself to pop an antihistamine before heading out to dinner. Oysters and such? I think I wouldn't chance it. For good measure, I also popped a charcoal pill. LOL 

It's a 200sqft tiny izakaya — 12 seats at the counter, but with social distancing, maybe 10 guests per seating. It's a logic I don't understand. It's such a tiny space. It doesn't make a damn difference. We took the 6pm seating (gotta clear out by 8pm for the second seating at 8.15pm). Fine by us; we would have more time to digest our food, and get back to the dog. Oof! 

The owner and his wife are really quite friendly. By now, I suppose. They did smile a lot. Hurhurhur. To be honest, there wasn't time to waste on conversation at the first seating. The space was crazy tiny and there was lots of food to be served. A sous chef helped, but still. I died laughing at this review in The Business Times last April, especially at this one line highlighted in blue. Oh don't I know that?! 😂

Welcome to Kakiin Oyster Bar where, unlike the TV show Cheers, nobody wants to know your name. Certainly not the boss man who, when you enter, looks at you the way you look at relatives whose existence you don't want to acknowledge, ie, not at all. He has the PR skills of a shiba inu - not friendly but will engage if he feels like it - so if you're a glutton for social punishment with a side of shellfish, step right in.

I do love the food! Easy bites and nothing much to complain about. It's not fine-dining in that way, but I was comfortable and happy. I was careful not to drink too much We had highballs and shared a 720ml bottle of 2022 Tiger Year junmai daiginjo from Tatenokawa brewery in Yamagata (楯の川酒造). Since I didn't get to taste the brewery's collaboration bottles with Foo Fighters, this expression would have to do.

There were potato salad and an awesome tofu with seaweed that went great with our highballs. The oysters were superb. They were freshly shucked to order. Then there were squid, scallop carpaccio with ikura, and a delicious bowl of steamed clams in soup/sake!In the display of sauces for diners, the man found the bottle of Tabasco Scorpion Pepper Sauce, and was so thrilled. It had half a bottle left and he finished it all. He really loved this iteration. J and the man went big on grilled chicken liver and gizzard. and chicken thigh. There were fried chicken, grilled pork belly, beef skirt, beef tongue. No regrets with the grilled oyster and garlic fried rice. That was a lovely round-up of carbs to the meal. 

We didn't over-order. The food was sufficient to fill all our stomachs, but nothing too damning as to cause indigestion or bloating. Hahahaha. We wisely didn't order two portions of every dish. Well, except for the oysters. We weren't allowed to share in the bill — the friends insisted that this was to be the man's birthday treat. Wheeeeeee. What a delightful evening!

To Be A Publican Forever?

I saw the title and read it based on it. Heh. That would be Kevin Barry's 'The Pub with No Beer', published in The New Yorker on April 4, 2022. Set in a family-run Irish pub shuttered by the pandemic, the now-owner is now uhhh very free. There're no customers. 

He still hangs out in the empty space, and 'hears voices', which are likely his memories of when the pub was full of humans, customers, friends and neighbors. He remembers his father and what he used to do for a whole lifetime. His father had said, "To be a publican was a lifelong performance." This is especially true of many small family businesses passed down for generations. There isn't an indication that it might or it will be passed on down further.

In a small town somewhere along the desolate Irish coast, this pub stood empty for months as pandemic lockdowns stayed. There was no beer and no ice; there was still whisky, bottles of it. While bottles of whisky could be poured out into glasses and shared, local COVID rules dictated that it couldn't be sold as businesses were supposedly closed. People stroll by, but there's no point lingering. Although one neighbor acquaintance walked in for a drink and memories stirred. There was time for the community to pause, think and reflect. 

For three generations behind this bar much the same set of thick, knitted eyebrows had insisted on a semblance, at least, of decorum. The sunlight crept by slow inches across the floor. It was the moment, in more usual times, of the primary school’s letting out and he missed the high excited chatter from the yard across the way. Neither loudness nor drunkenness in this barroom had ever been tolerated.

“There is such a thing as a thoughtful pub,” his father had always maintained.

With time on his hands and 'emptiness', the now-owner spent a lot of time thinking, reflecting and dreaming. He wondered if it was time to close the pub, and do something else. He wasn't sure if he'd get the price he wanted, at what it was worth. He was tired, and didn't know if he could continue doing this. 

He was alone with the voices. He wanted to be away from them. He wanted to travel past himself and across the fields of the bay and beyond the horizon and into the equinox, into the light.

The author felt that the story is pertinent since pubs aren't just about the beer but they're also quite social hubs in rural communities. Once the lockdowns of 2020 and 2021 came in, the usual hustle and bustle stopped, and people looked inward. As deprived of social interactions some felt, many also had the space to dream and create. 

The other great sense from the pandemic period was of the past as an unstable entity. There was so little going on in the present tense of our lives; we all spent a great deal of time thinking about the past. And we realized then that the past is shifting and rearranging all the time back there. The past is just a story that we keep on telling ourselves in different ways, in different renditions.

Hatsu at Yujin Izakaya

After a whole day of drizzle, the late afternoon arrived cloudy, keeping the temperatures less balmy. That was much appreciated for dinner with V at an outdoor table at Yujin Izakaya. The restaurant is not exactly sited in town, but after a long day in the office, V decided to take a much-needed walk to dinner. Nice! 

A highball or a glass of sake, white rice and chicken hearts are the most indulgent things one could have for dinner. The other day at dinner, I had two highballs, and three sticks of hatsu and one gyu-don to myself. Hearts and rice. Best combination ever. I ate 15 chicken hearts. NO REGRETS. 

Tonight, I also ordered three sticks of hatsu. But I shared them with V! Hahahaha. I prudently only had seven chicken hearts. Maybe I should have just taken six. Should have given her extras. They're way too high in fats and cholesterol. Also shared a grilled yellowtail cheek, potato salad and a cold tomato. I passed on most of the fried chicken skin. I very much prefer steamed chicken skin. 😉 

Two bottles of 300ml sake were the drinks to go with food tonight. Speaking of which, I'm drinking wayyyy too much. That's a lot of sugar as well. NO GOOD FOR AGING PEOPLE. I'm not sleeping very well in the nights, thanks to the dog. With insufficient sleep overall and surviving on caffeine on most days, and hot flushes + night sweats if I drink too much, I should start limiting alcohol intake. 

Seed Beads from Eden+Elie

The BFF gave me a birthday present in the form of a necklace from Eden+Elie which I absolutely loved. The weight of the three 'pendants' or bulbs is just right, hanging heavy to secure its design, but not such a burden that cuts into the back of the neck. The adjustable chains made it super practical for my wardrobe. 

I like the necklace so much that I went browsing at the website, and bought two pairs of earrings from the brand, one in hues to match (I think the brand named it 'oyster') and one in my favorite semi-precious stone of lapis lazuli. 

The necklace is in a minimalist design. Little capsules. However, the earrings are in a tad more complicated settings. A little nyonya, a little ethnic, and very original. So I wasn't sure if I really liked those. I stared at them for a few days before deciding on two easy pairs. Luckily these two pairs of earrings came in designs and colors that I like, and will wear. 

When the earrings arrived, I scrutinized them. The earrings are delicate but not that dainty. They're beautiful. The handiwork is impeccable. Wow! These earrings aren't small in diameter, but they're fairly light. If I keep to wearing them within four hours, the earholes wouldn't flare. 

Eden+Elie is a Singapore brand, and it's also a social enterprise that has partnered with Autism Resource Center Singapore to train artisans to produce their jewelry. The seed beads used are from Miyuki, an old-school reputable Japanese manufacturer. A social enterprise isn't exactly a charity. It's a mover in the economy that gives back to the community.  

A few weeks later, I then read this nicely written article on CNA about the brand. Awesome. In this dreary world with ultra depressing headlines, a piece of grounded and local news like this is very welcomed — people doing good, making a difference on the ground, to the local community, and to our country, our independent nation. Here's a recent interview with the co-founders of the brand hosted by DBS Foundation. 

Spicy Thai Thai Isn't So Tasty Anymore

On the first weekend the pandemic restrictions lifted on number of pax eating together, six of us went to Spicy Thai Thai for dinner. We used to love its food and hadn't been back for a while. So it was time to check it out again. We hadn't seen one another for ages, so it was really nice to catch up in person. The company and conversation made it a good night. 

Thank goodness I called ahead to book — the eatery was full! At least with a reservation, we had a guaranteed table. Every table held like eight to ten persons. Woah. There was obviously a large group of like... 40 persons that took up four tables. The kitchen couldn't handle the crowds on this first weekend of the new rules for '10 pax dining-in'. Food took ages to arrive. We waited 45 minutes for ours. 

Conversation and company were awesome, but the food, tbh, was awful and not what I remembered of its heyday. There were tom yam seafood soup, otah, crab curry, seabass in spicy lemon soup, stir-fried sweet potato leaves and cabbage, pandan chicken, green curry chicken, basil minced pork, and oyster omelette. The fish had been swopped out from catfish to sea bass. It was still decent, and the gravy piquant. In the condiments tray, the bottle green chilli was superb. Since nothing was spicy, that went well with everything. I think we finished that entire bottle. Stopped by KOOKS Creamery for dessert. 

Overall, I was disappointed with the food. The phad krapow pork was awful because the kitchen used the wrong type of basil — they used sweet instead of holy. What the. At least the foods I liked didn't turn out well. That stir-fried cabbage was hilarious. The menu described it as 'cabbage with fish sauce'. It came out tasting crunchy and fine and it wasn't mushy. But someone had forgotten to stir-fry it with sufficient garlic, no chillies or spices, and might have completely forgotten to add fish sauce. I was so glad that I didn't bother ordering the som tam. It would have been utterly wasted.

Spicy Thai Thai's kitchen now can't even measure up to the current standards of Un Yang Kor Dai or Little Elephant, and of course never Yhingthai Palace. After moving from Aljunied to Bedok North Avenue 1 and closing for a few months to do dunno what, the kitchen standards have dropped. The kitchen didn't seem to be able to deal with the crowds tonight and couldn't cook to its previous standards. They also dumbed down the familiar fiery spices. Haizzzzz. There's no point making the drive to Bedok Avenue 1 anymore for this not very Thai-sort of food.

Off to a New GP for Choya

Since our favorite doctor left Companion Animal Surgery 1.5 years ago, we have been shuttling between doctors. I've come to feel that clinic can't meet my needs anymore. Of course the clinic is competent and reputable. They do fine for regular medical procedures, but anything else more holistic, they can't seem to handle it, nor do they seem to have the disposition to manage the increasingly demanding owners. They always make me feel that I should get a second opinion.  

I can't deal with their limited prescriptions and perspectives when it comes to canine diarrhea. I cannot deal with all the doctors recommending that Choya be fed on kibbles. Hypoallergenic kibbles. NO NO NO. They aren’t willing to work with me on the diet I prefer to feed. DO THESE DOCTORS TAKE SASHIMI OR SUSHI? And I especially cannot deal with doctors insisting that it was fine giving Choya antibiotics two months in a row. 

Gentle Oak has been strongly recommended to us as a go-to. At Ghim Moh Road, it is really far for us. A chorus of "Nonsense. I'll come over and drive you" reverberated off my phone. Aiyoh, y'all need to be so scary or not. Okay no need to drive me. Hahahaha. Well, it's an easy drive, but it is a 30-minute drive, and it takes ages to get an appointment. But it has to be done. I'm also breaking my own rules of not seeing friends officially at their clinics in their professional capacity as doctors. But for Choya, fine. At the very least, a friend would totally know where I stand when it comes to nutrition and balanced meals. And quality. 

Trudged over for a first consult with the doctor of our choice. I do like Gentle Oak's venue since it currently offers big green fields for a pee before and after the visit, and sufficient space to soak up uhhhh any minor explosions of stress colitis. It's not a hospital though. For that and specialist diagnosis/treatment, I'll still have to be referred to Beecroft and VES. Of course when Choya ages, let's see if new ones get established. 

This first consult went well. Besides a chat to find out what my philosophy is as a pet parent, the doctor took time to understand Choya's medical issues, all of which currently stemmed from her imbalanced microbiome. There was only a physical examination done, and no injections of any sort. The good thing about laboratory tests — they're facts and can be ported over from clinic to clinic.  

Dog was so damn sus all the way. Her face tickled me to no end. She didn't like the physical examination at all. It's not that she doesn't like to be touched. At the doctors', she equates being touched as a prelude to an injection. At the physical examination, she was so terrified that she refused to be held down. She gave me many scratches and two good deep ones. Dammit. 

Also, I've found my preferred brand and formulation of probiotics (pre and post) at the clinic! Taken only thrice a week, Synbiotic D-C seems to be good for Choya. Nowadays, there's very little difference between those bought off-the-shelves vs vet-prescribed. It's just a matter of which formulation works for your floof. I'll consider Gentle Oak, but it's really far from us. So I'll see how it goes. If I need emergency treatment, this clinic wouldn't be my first choice. 

Loads of Homecooked Goodness

Toddled over to N and B's for dinner. They sternly told us not to bring anything. The man decided to make hummus for them as a gift. Told them it wasn't meant to accompany dinner. It was meant for them to snack on for the next few days. We left out the olive oil. Figured that they could drizzle it upon serving. 

Champagne and an easy charcuterie board to begin the evening with. Dinner was gorgeous! An appetizer of seafood aglio e olio fettuccine, and a main of halibut with greens, tomatoes and Israeli couscous. We were soooo stuffed. Then there was dessert of more cheese, and chocolates. Gosh, I ate so much. WE DRANK A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE AND THREE BOTTLES OF WINE. I literally rolled home. 

Kept an eye on Choya as she wandered around with Ryo. She sauntered around like it was her house. Went to the kitchen to try to convince the nice Tita M to feed her more food. When it came to their snack time, I was on hand to watch my food-aggressive smol girl. She was perfectly willing to share her water bowl prior. But once the snacks (seared lean beef mince) came out, she wasn't willing to share anything anymore. She shrieked soooo loud at poor Ryo when he approached. Poor Ryo was dumbfounded and went off to hide. He only came out later to eat Part Two of his dinner, and then napped. 

What a little asshole Choya is! She's a total bully. Got her ears pulled by yours truly and she was roundly scolded. Ryo is a good boy and such a gentleman. He could hold his own, but he hates confrontations too. He gives Choya too much 'face'. Dohhhhh. The man and I gave him extra head rubs and pats, all of which he happily accepted. Hehehe. 

We spent hours at the friends'. The floofs needed downtime. So they got it. These are not that sociable canines. So Ryo napped in his room, and Choya slid under the couch while we chatted. When Ryo woke, he came out to join us and wasn't afraid of Choya anymore; smol girl wasn't peeved by then. They were lying 30cm from each other, back to back. Fwens again. Then they went for a short night stroll together.  

What is Social Respectability?

The plot wasn't the thing that got my attention. I read it grim-faced because it promised to unfold into a melodrama of angst, wrong choices and more stereotypes. But the writing was good and so after the first five paragraphs, I soldiered on. Set in South London in the 1970s, Tessa Hadley's 'After the Funeral' was published in digital The New Yorker on March 21, 2022. 

The short story described the life of "pretty and nice" homemaker Marlene and her two young daughters Charlotte and Lulu after pilot Philip — their breadwinner/husband/father's death from a sudden heart attack. It laid out the overarching maternal and matriarchal figure in their lives, the father's mother — stern Nanna/Grandmother. It followed the widow's path, chosen jobs, and their relationships with the husband's family for almost a decade till the elder Charlotte graduated from high school, got a job instead of going on to college. Charlotte felt that she had to marry off her mother, and take care of her, otherwise the mother would be a wreck and helpless. 

Once it became clear that Marlene had no idea about money, Philip’s brothers carried off from his desk all the papers that Marlene superstitiously wouldn’t even touch, in case she messed something up. It turned out that Philip hadn’t had much idea about money, either. The Lyonses convened a family conference; there was grim satisfaction in how Nanna broke the news to them. Philip hadn’t taken out any life insurance, and there was very little pension: they would have to move out of the bungalow, which was the only home the girls could remember, because the rent was too expensive. Philip’s brothers would club together to keep the girls at their fee-paying school, but to cover the rest of their costs Marlene would need to go out to work. 

Half way through, I realized that there was an incredible amount of details provided in the book. Those are more than enough for me to get a short film going in my head. There were colors and texture, and maybe even smells with whisky in their tea. 

The author discussed her approach and narrative style in an interview with the magazine's Deborah Treisman titled 'Tessa Hadley on Building a Story from Details'. There was a particular question and answer about a theme in the story that didn't quite occur to me. Of 'shame'. Was there shame? And whose shame did it belong to? We would assume the shame is with Marlene. But nope. There's no shame there. Marlene has held down jobs and earned a stable income, first as a receptionist at the doctor's office, and as an assistant at the supermarket with all its colorful characters and patrons. 

“I’m afraid for my grandchildren,” Nanna said. “When I see the way you live.”

“There’s nothing wrong with having a bit of fun,” Marlene said stubbornly.

Nanna was frozen, offended to the soul. “Is that what you call it? Fun?”

“You don’t need to worry about us,” Charlotte reassured her.

I took it for granted that there's a role reversal of mother and daughter responsibilities since someone had to step up to the plate. Marlene was socially judged by people she knew, once termed as family. She seems to be a free spirit of sorts and totally doesn't mind being judged. In that, she didn't sink into depression at her state of reduced circumstances in life.  

The story also turns around the idea of shame: Marlene has none, doesn’t understand why she should. Charlotte is enveloped in the shame of having a mother and sister who don’t aspire to respectability. Why do you think she’s so sensitized to this and the others aren’t? Does she have more in common with Nanna than she thinks?

I do drop hints that, in some ways, Charlotte resembles her grandmother more than either of them is aware. But I wouldn’t want to overstate this—who knows what particular history produced Nanna’s sourness and passion for control? Charlotte’s story is going to be different—she’s shaped somewhat by the power of her father’s family, yes, and she’s sensitive to their condemnation. But, overwhelmingly, she’s formed and nourished by the warmth and crazy cheerfulness of her mother and her sister, the coziness of the three of them together under the telly blanket. Actually, I’m glad that Charlotte blunders so disastrously at the end of the story. To me, it’s a sign of her resurgent life, her capacity to make mistakes and take risks and break things. Obviously, there’s going to be a lot of pain for her in the process.