
It was a noisy table that sat down to dinner at 9.25pm. We were tickled that this evening, none of us could make the earlier timing at 8pm and had to all sheepishly shift it later.
I'm glad that my friends understand why I'm still pulling the late nights at work even though I can sorta 'switch off' and get away with most things. We know that late nights at work don't mean we're inefficient. It's usually because we're stuck at meetings all day and have no time to clear emails or get down and dirty to brainstorm the actual work necessary.
I don't know if I want to get back into the social whirl. I doubt it. If any, I'm more anti-social than ever. Being older also means there're certain conversations I'm not interested in and people I'm not bothered to cultivate. For this reason, I won't do very well in the public relations industry. I don't even know why I ever thought I'd be good at it. Duhh. I've done alot of things I've wanted to do, fulfilled many desires and dreams. Now, I want even more. I didn't just learn and understand the concept of 'carpe diem'. I live life so that if I die tomorrow, I have little, if no regrets.
A girlfriend commented that "We're all in a mid-life crisis!" Ummm.....not exactly lah. It's just that at some point in our third decade on this earth, we don't want to follow the 'norm' or the stereotypes anymore. It's just how we've been conditioned- the Singaporean idea of success and stability. There're other models that we prefer. And now, we're brave enough to follow our dreams, we take the leap of faith. (No, we're not fans of 'Eat, Pray, Love', the movie or the book. We dislike it, emphatically.)
To be clear, I don't view my 5 years as a salaried employee as a waste of time. It's a chapter of my life that I've come to appreciate. It has filled in a facet that I'd otherwise not quite have known since the carefree days after graduation from university. The job has provided great insights and wonderful opportunities that have honed certain opinions and ideas, as well as nurtured a greater commitment to my passions. For your information, I decided not to have children when I was 12 years old, and at 18, I decided that the elderly will take precedence in all charity projects. I don't see a need to change that at all. Now that I've wider and deeper resources at disposal, this same fire burns brighter.
There was a lunch with someone who does come across as fairly pompous and arrogant, though not without good reason. I don't care very much for his opinions on a wide range of subjects. But when it comes to his specialty and his passion in volunteer work, he's definitely not boasting. In fact, within the stories, I recognize a certain sort of long-term commitment, focus, clarity and strong power of organization in the volunteer missions he leads. I admire his strength in plunging headlong into a rather desolate region in the country.
The girlfriend sent a precious gift of 2 notebooks and a card that noted "new adventures in 2011". Indeed. Months ago after I called it quits with the job, I said I'm not sure what the new year will bring. I'm still none the wiser. However, as the new year beckons, the canvas is no longer blank. There's this really sketchy outline that's slowly appearing. I don't know how it'll be inked or how the colors will be filled and how it should eventually pan out as a painting. But I know it's going to be exciting.